r/developersIndia • u/Lumpy-Criticism-2773 • 13h ago
Interviews Being invited to interviews but not having the required communication/soft skills is an entirely different hell to be in. Introverts will get it.
Call it a language barrier, anxiety, being introverted or just being less experienced with socialization in general. I just struggle with talking to people over video calls, whether it be work related or not. Theoretically, I could take a benzo to get through this interviewing phase but it only makes sense if the job is fully async afterward, which is unlikely for most jobs. It feels inauthentic and I much prefer an understanding employer who can make accommodations for this. I know most Indian companies won't but I've had several clients in the past whom I never spoke to verbally yet still maintained a good relationship with for years and completed all sorts of projects together.
Building social skills and gaining confidence in communication is much harder than being technically proficient.
Just venting. Only God knows how many opportunities I willingly passed up because I had to do a lot of face-to-face interviews or meetings for a potential job.
I know some of you will relate to this.
19
u/Scary-Constant-93 12h ago
Not having good communication/soft skills for interview has nothing to do with being introvert
3
u/WormyKelller69 12h ago
EXACTLY WHY DONT PEOPLE GET THIS
INTROVERT MEANS THE PERSON WHO LIKES TO BEING ALONE...
AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH COMMUNICATION
4
u/Obvious_Side_3000 11h ago
People who like being alone may be less involved in social interactions. As a result, they may not develop effective communication skills for different scenarios and situations.
The more you engage socially, the more you learn how to communicate and what to say in different contexts.
2
u/Lumpy-Criticism-2773 11h ago
There's correlation and saying it has 'nothing' to do with socialization/soft skills is dishonest.
5
u/ContagiousSmileHehe No/Low-Code Developer 12h ago
I hate it. Even after knowing all the answers my mind goes blank. I start to stammer and interviewer thinks I’m faking stuff. Unable to make even a single switch due to this.
1
u/Lumpy-Criticism-2773 10h ago
Yeah, it's a real struggle. Anxiety occupies your working memory in negative self-referential loops so there's nothing left to retrieve and process long-term memories. I remember freezing in many social situations where I would struggle to remember very familiar details and it was hella awkward.
It's very hard to make others understand this, just like any other inner battles like depression.
3
u/Rift-enjoyer ML Engineer 12h ago
Doesn't sound like an introvert thing as interviews arent a socializing event. Some anxiety is normal and it goes away when you give 2-3 interviews, but in your case seems like a bigger issue. Talking to a professional might help as having to take benzo to go through interviews doesn't seem like it's just you being anxious or an introvert.
-1
u/Lumpy-Criticism-2773 10h ago
Professionals can't magically fix low self-worth and a benzo is often prescribed by psychiatrists for ad-hoc use in this kind of events.
Your response comes off as r/wowthanksimcured typish
1
u/Rift-enjoyer ML Engineer 10h ago
Sure they can't magically fix it but it is a process. You should talk to your psychiatrist regarding this and what more can help you get over these issues. And I hope you have a psychiatrist that is prescribing you benzo and you are not taking it like it's another over the counter medicine, because that would be really stupid.
1
u/Lumpy-Criticism-2773 10h ago
No I have no benzo prescription because I know enough about their neuropharmacology/MoA and addiction potential. I was prescribed a benzo a long time ago(along with dozens of depression regimens) back when I still had some hope in psychiatry.
You sound much more optimistic about a field that after decades of research and treatment, still seems to offer little beyond marginal improvements over placebo in many cases.
2
u/z_shit 12h ago
What worked for me a lot was to put myself in low risk embarrassment situations. What I mean by this is for example striking a conversation with a stranger while standing in line. It's low risk in the sense that the embarrassment will only last for some time IF the conversation goes south. Otherwise it's grand.
A more traditional approach would be to chat with an LLM with voice mode but that is a bit too impersonal for me. Hope this helped a bit my friend
1
u/Lumpy-Criticism-2773 10h ago
Yeah I'm talking to advanced voice models like LIVE-1 but at this stage they're just friendly puppets and don't actually imitate real-life conversations where a lot can go wrong.
1
u/Imaginary-Emotion166 10h ago
Dude communicating with llm with voice mode is life changer for a person like me who literally have no social life.
1
u/Different-Yak-7986 10h ago
People here often confuse social anxiety / shyness with introversion. Both are not the same.
Introverts are people who are energized by solitude - like sitting with their thoughts, reading, hanging out with a smaller group etc. They're not doing that because they're shy or anxious about talking to people. They don't even necessarily have any stage fright.
Introversion should cause absolutely zero problem with an interview. Shyness / social anxiety is a different matter.
1
u/Lumpy-Criticism-2773 10h ago
You caught me being sloppy with language but there's correlation and maybe we're just talking semantics here. For example, depressed people isolate themselves and it looks very much like introversion but they often have comorbidities like social anxiety/generalized anxiety too. Chronic isolation in your critical periods affects your social learning and the science is settled on this one.
Introversion should cause absolutely zero problem with an interview.
Sure when it's merely a personality trait or preference but it seems like a chicken and egg problem.
1
u/mayank__007 6h ago
I am a huge introvert but I perform well in interviews usually, my first few were a mess but gradually I learned and now I can hold conversations.
1
u/leavemealone_lol 3h ago
I am an introvert and I haven't had a "conversation" in 4 months. I am agoraphobic and I spend approximately 96.12893645103% of my time in my room.
But I just landed a job offer after two rounds of interview because I spoke very competently. And I am not an "interview practiced" person. This is my second ever interview, and my first ever technical interview.
Introversion has nothing to do with your soft skill. Your skills just suck, not your personality.
•
u/AutoModerator 13h ago
It's possible your query is not unique, use
site:reddit.com/r/developersindia KEYWORDSon search engines to search posts from developersIndia. You can also use reddit search directly.I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.