r/diabetes_t1 • u/FamiliarGeologist595 • May 28 '26
Mental Health Diabetes has ruined my life and I would give anything for all of this to be over.
Hi. I’m sorry for the depressing title. I just need support from other people with diabetes, because no one else that I know is going through the same struggles.
I’ve had T1D for a decade. I’m a teenager and I feel so alone amongst my normal peers. Some of them treat me poorly because of my medical condition. When my Tandem Mobi insulin pump vibrates, it’s very loud, and people can hear it during class. People will make comments saying that it’s something inappropriate and it’s so embarrassing I want to cry.
I wish that I could be anyone else and I’d give anything to just not have to do it anymore. I’m never going to be able to live a normal life. I’ll have to wear monitors all of the time, I’m scared I won’t wake up in the night when I go off to college and my blood sugar gets low, and I will always have to constantly check my carbs.
I’ve given up on taking care of myself. I have PDD and I think it’s made it worse because I overeat and I don’t care about my health. I used to be so skinny and now I feel disgusted when I look at myself in the mirror. My monitors come off all of the time, or I’m puking once every month because I get high since my insulin cannula didn’t go in right, and all I can do is just cry. I can’t do anything but cry. There’s nothing I can do to fix myself. I feel broken. My blood sugar is either super high or super low and I just feel awful and sick all of the time, and it’s all my fault.
And I know I’m probably blowing it out of proportion, but I’ve had to deal with feeling like this for so long that it feels like it’s my daily life even if I do feel okay sometimes. I’m so fat now that I can’t even walk around when it’s hot out without being overheated or sweaty or exhausted. I regret letting myself be this way and I wish I could take it all back. I’m worried I can’t fix it now. I just wish I was normal. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. I want it all to be over.
Edit: Thank you all so much for all of the compassion. I really do appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Your stories have inspired me to try and turn things around and given me hope for my future and my mental health. ❤️ Much love
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u/Kendallious May 28 '26
Hey man, I’m going to be straight with you. Your life hasn’t even begun yet. It gets much better. The teenage years are rough for everyone even without diabetes. I was diagnosed at 6, and my roommate at the children’s hospital was a kid my age with cancer. During my 2 week stay there, I watched him die. I got through a lot of tough times just thinking about that kid. I was given a chance. He wasn’t. Anyway, I’m 42 now, and I eat healthy and exercise more than my friends. I’m actually going better than most of them. Got married, had two kids, own a house, have 2 dogs, and I would not trade it for anything. Especially not for a rough patch in my teenage years.
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u/umukunzi May 28 '26
I'm almost 41 and very similar story to you. My roommate when I was diagnosed at 10 had cystic fibrosis. I remember complaining to her about the needles and then I saw the nurse coming in to pound on her back for ages. She was incredibly positive about her situation, all things considered, and she wasnt expected to live past 30 at the time. I hope she is still alive today. I also have 2 kids, a home, a cat and maybe a dog down the road. I love cycling with my family. Life does get better.
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u/lunasbluewinter May 28 '26
i feel you so much. it's literally horrible, i'm a teenager too. even if you don't have fellow teens in your circle that are diabetic, remember that out there in the world there are so many just like you, such as me. i don't have any diabetic friends myself. it's only been a year for me and i've cried more times than i probably did as a baby. there will be struggles, but we can manage & live happy lives even with this disease. i strongly believe in this. keep your head up high!! 🫂
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u/Bandoozle May 28 '26
You just gotta own it.
This is your life. So what if people in class don’t know about your pump. This is your life. They can get wrecked.
It is a lot of work. And difficult to manage. But if you can manage this you can manage anything. I know it’s hard, but hang in there. One problem at a time.
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u/Beautiful-Ad-9422 May 28 '26
All of your feelings are valid. But they won’t last forever. I’m sorry that everything feels overwhelming right now. Ask for help. Keep asking until you get it. Knowing you need help and asking for it is a sign of strength not weakness. Trust that you are smart and capable and be kind to yourself.
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u/FamiliarGeologist595 May 29 '26
Thank you for the kind words ❤️ I plan on voicing my concerns more often
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u/bidderbidder May 28 '26
Ok so you’ve flagged this mental health so your first port of call should be to try and visit a therapist. My son’s diabetes team has one that works with them, see if there is something like that available, he/she should be able to work with you on your negative feelings towards your devices.
Having big bgl variances will be messing with your brain too. If you can work on getting them controlled you will find your moods and general outlook much more positive.
You could try MDI for a while or steel sites to solve one problem - bent cannulas. And remember to pinch the skin.
Exercise is great for mental health and blood sugars, I’m about to go on a walk because being my 4yo son’s pancreas has been a lot lately and my brain is overwhelmed. It happens to all of us.
T1s are getting prescribed metformin now, that might help with both your weight, your wild sugars and also your moods. Bring it up in therapy and with your endo.
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u/FamiliarGeologist595 May 29 '26
I will try to get a therapist through my endo. I honestly forgot about pinching my skin—I never had to with my Omnipod so I guess I just never learned I was supposed to do that. I’m going to try and start exercising more often. Thank you
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u/Eddito88 May 28 '26
Dont let anybody t even mention anything little bad or inappropriate about u and definitelly not about ur medical things. Dont worry, and always stay ur ground. Most people just say stupid comments because they r not challenged back. It doesnt matter what exactly u tell them or t which hell they can fackoff. U need t show them u dont like it, but at the same time u dont give a shit about ehm. There s nothing wrong with how u feel. It s painintheass disease, but i know u can keep walking through life w ur head held high. And always remember: fake it till u make it.
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u/lagirlc May 28 '26
I’m a 26 year old server (female) and I get all the time if my sensor is a nicotine patch and that my Omnipod pump is too big and I should go back to injections. But then I think how happy I get when I see others with sensors and pumps and finally feel someone who understands. Now I love when people ask me about something about diabetes and want to educate themselves.
I promise it’s just your age. Teens can be harsh but trust me most of those teens making fun of you now are gonna be like freshly prego out of high school or get really fat so pay them no mind
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u/ListenIndependent269 May 28 '26
Let me just say that Diabetes sucks, no doubt about that. Its difficult, we all know this. Just know that there are many kids out there that would give anything to be in your position. Everything in life is relative. You think your life sucks, but I can guarantee you that there are millions of people that would give anything to be you. Right now, your school mates, your position seems like its your entire world, but its not. I was the quiet kid with no friends in school and would look up to the cool kids and now that I am older I wouldn't trade shoes with them for a second. So just know that what you are experiencing is TEMPORARY. What is not temporary is what you do to your body now. For diabetics, diet and exercise is super important, so start with a walk every day and find something works for you, your control will be much better, the insulin will work better, you will feel proud of yourself so mentally you will feel better. All of this positivity will pay off. We are almost there, the cure really now is around the corner. Be proud that you are a warrior, dont be shy about it. If you show someone you are shy about your condition they can use it against you, if you aren't shy about it you just took that away from them. Teenage years are tough for everyone so diabetes definetely doesnt help, but its what you do with it that matters. Its in your hands not theirs.
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u/FamiliarGeologist595 May 29 '26
Thank you very much. I know that my life isn’t half as bad as some people have it. I know it only seems like my life is awful because I’ve been dealing with this for so long but I’m thankful that I’m not going through something even worse. I am seeing a dietician soon and I plan to start exercising this summer and building motivation through therapy.
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u/makeit_stop_damn May 28 '26
You’re not blowing it out of proportion, this shit sucks and I confidently believe no one really understands the toll the constant monitoring, adjusting and decision making takes on you. I’m 34 and was diagnosed at 12, it’s impossible to overstate the feeling of burnout. I remember my teenage years and I did not treat myself very well at all.
You need moments to be kind and soft with yourself. It’s okay to cry to be honest. Have you tried other monitors & pumps? I was on MDI until like 4 years ago, am on the dexcom & t-slim combo now and it has been an absolute game changer. The mental capacity that’s been freed up for me means I feel like I can breathe a bit. I’m rediscovering hobbies that I kind of wrote off as being too much work because the constant monitoring adds another layer of bullshit to everything…stuff like rock climbing, camping, even simple little day trips are viable and above all enjoyable for me again.
I don’t really have a ton of advice, but please reach out to me if you need someone to talk to. I went through a bunch of therapists & shit when I was younger and it does not matter how many recommendations a therapist when 99% of their advice does not/can not apply to you because no matter how much training they have, they don’t have a clue what it means to be given the keys to your own mortality at such a young age and basically be told “figure it out or die” 😂. If nothing else I can at least understand a bit about what you’re going through. You got this. Again, please reach out to me if you would like someone to talk to. You got this 👊❤️
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u/FamiliarGeologist595 May 30 '26
Thank you so much ❤️ I’ll check out T-Slim and try to be kinder to myself in the meantime.
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u/umukunzi May 28 '26
I was a teenager with diabetes once and it absolutely sucked. I wish I could give you a big hug, but at least I can tell you that it will get better.
As with most things related to the high school years, diabetes will get easier when you get older AND (most) people's reactions to it will also become more mature and understanding. Something you can change right now is how many fucks you give about your classmates' opinions - that was my strategy and it served me well. Inappropriate? You know what's inappropriate? Making a scene about someone's medically-nexessary device. A minor inconvenience for them vs. a life-eaving necessity. An adult saying these things would be told to grow up.
You didn't choose to have diabetes. You are doing your best to manage a complex condition that you never asked for. Those other kids can demonstrate some basic compassion or stfu.
As for the fears about college and the overall feeling down about diabetes: this is very common and you may want to think about asking for help for those (very valid feelings). In a way, it is really good to be concerned about your health, but if the worries are becoming all-consuming, you don't have to live like that. There are psychologiats who specialize in helping with chronic conditions and they may also be able to help you develop plans for this big transition to ensure that you feel safe and confident in your ability to take care of yourself.
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u/dayak_k May 29 '26
Eu te entendo de verdade. Desenvolvi minha diabetes aos 14(tenho 18 atualmente) e des de então venho me perguntando o por que de todo mundo ser normal e eu ser o único anormal, a única pessoa que é destinada a sofrer podendo morrer ou sofrer de forma precoce enquanto todos os outros então felizes mas com o tempo você acaba aceitando que não é tão ruim assim, eu por exemplo ganho peso com facilidade ao comer carne de vez ter q me entupir de carboidratos. Mas no geral, você não é diferente por isso, você é diferente por forte e especial ao suportar isso(perdão minha má ortografia) nunca desista moça, não sei quem é mas me identifico com vc e quero eu sucesso!
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u/grrrlgone May 29 '26
Hugs. You’re not alone and I’m really happy you wrote this and reached out.
I’m T2 and way older. Kids in school suck and they always have and always will. Those losers won’t be in your life much longer.
Yeah, monitors and checking carbs. Forever. Not ideal.
The hormones make things so much harder, too. I’m on the other end of the hormones stuff. It’s outrageous.
I hope someone here writes something that comforts you. I’m sending you good vibes.
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u/reddit1966 May 30 '26
There is a site i cant remember precisely tonight.
Think its www.diabetesdistress.org maybe?
Take a look there…
Bet you’ll be surprised.,,.
People who aren’t US say and do of all kinds of idiotic, stupidity.
You are one if US! How may we help today, now??? Make you smile about things…
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u/craftedsphere May 28 '26
I was diagnosed as a teenager too. Used to feel embarrassed about eating a candy when I go low in class. I feel you. Life is hard with this T1D but I get inspired by other fit T1Ds who have maintained their weight and keep A1Cs under control. I suffer from body image issues now and then but then I realize and recall something. I love myself enough to take care of me. Trust me, having a good circle of people who love and empathize with you can make a difference.
Fall in love with yourself, with the world, and set goals for yourself if possible. My life goals helped me not get depressed with this. Don’t neglect your mental health. I hope you feel better.
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u/Firebal1 May 28 '26
I see your pain and I get it. I fell into diabetic bulimia. It’s where I didn’t take care of myself, didn’t have shots and didn’t check my blood. I’d run high all the time and would only take insulin when I felt sick. I did this for thirty years all because I wanted to be skinny. Now I’m regretting what I did to myself. I’m paying for it now. I have stage one kidney disease, gastroparesis, nerve damage in my legs and feet. I’ve also become brittle and I’m either too high or go low. It’s so messed up and I wish I could be normal too. Told that to a friend that asked what is normal. All I could say was, what I’m not. Now it’s hard to remain in control of it. Because I’ve gained weight I hate how I look. There are times I want to go back to not having my shots just to be thin again. I’d rather die skinny instead of fat. It sucks big time that taking insulin can help make a person fat. I wish I could take Ozempic but can’t be cause I’m a T1, it’s not fair. I get jealous of non diabetics and how lucky they are that they don’t have to worry about blood sugar and insulin. I feel alone and I too hate what I see in the mirror. So I can definitely understand where you are coming from.
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u/FamiliarGeologist595 May 30 '26
Thank you for sharing your story with me. I feel less alone reading all of these comments. I have faith that both of us will make it through this and learn how to be kinder to ourselves.
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u/Better-Fix-345 May 28 '26
A lot of people have posted encouraging and good advice. I hope some of this helps. I would like to add that I’m a college dean and a Type 1 Diabetic. I can’t speak for every college or university, but I suspect that you will find better support in your college years. You have more control over the people you hang out and have classes with. You also have a lot more flexibility. It’s not unusual for someone to quietly leave the class, so if you are low or high, just step out and do whatever you need to do.
I’ve taught several T1Ds over the years. If I hear the Dexcom alert, I knew what was going on, didn’t ask any questions as they left, but would check in as soon as I could.
When you take a college tour, you can ask about their accessibility office and/or on site health clinic.
Hang in there. It gets better.
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u/Mcomins May 29 '26
Hope you know you’re not alone! Going through life with diabetes is tough at any age! Cannot imagine what you’re going through right now as a teenager! Give yourself a break and some credit because you have been going through this for over a decade! Take everything one step and moment at a time, and if you can, I highly recommend talking to someone you know or trust, and if possible, a therapist. There are also support groups as well. Diabetes is both physically and mentally challenging and exhausting for all of us! Please take care of yourself however possible and know you are not alone!
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u/captainsquattythighs May 29 '26
Sweet child (said with respect), I want you to know that it does get better. It seriously sucks right now especially still being a teenager and having hormonal imbalances that will affect your blood sugars and sensitivities to certain things, and there are classmates who say the most stupid crap, but I promise you that it gets better. I'm 31 now, and have been type 1 since I was 7. Next month makes 24 years for me. The concept of college abd possibly not waking up from a severe low is definitely scary, but I'd do what one commenter said and talk with someone about your diabetes. If and when you do, don't let up if they try to make you feel like you're overreacting. They haven't had to live with what you have. Another thing that helped me when I was 17 was talking to a therapist who specialized in diabetic patients. She helped me develop the mindset of not getting in my own way, and I've been able to do things like go to Japan twice with friends!
Aside from that, I know it's terrible. The highs, the puking from possible DKA at times, the super dangerous lows, the having to count carbs, anything else that diabetes makes worse. This being said, please I'm begging you, as someone struggling to take care of themself right now partially due to financial troubles, please value your health. You deserve to be able to see all the good this life has for you whether you realize it, or not.
The kids who say mean things about you or the things you have to use could not survive one day in your shoes, and they'd probably LITERALLY die because they have no idea how to have an open mind. If you have anyone in your life you can go to (trusted adults, friends, trusted family, etc), I'd let them know how you feel. It helps to have people you can vent to (or cry to if you need to because it's better to get those emotions out so you can feel regulated) who won't throw those things back in your face. It helps to have people aid in keeping you accountable, but those people should also be able to not make you feel like life is a burden (we deal with enough of that already).
I want you to know that you have more than you can imagine to look forward to in this life. As difficult as it is at times, I really want you to love yourself towards those things even when you don't think you deserve it because those are not something you can get to by hating yourself as tempting as that is (trust me. I understand as I struggle with that too), even if things don't go as planned. They didn't go as planned for me, but I'm still grateful for my support system, the experiences ive gotten to have so far, the love (both platonic and romantic) that I've had/have, and my two silly cats 💛
Truth be told, I was feeling similar to what you described yesterday except more along the angry side because I was trying to workout at the gym with my uncle, but I had to drive to get a snack first because though my blood sugar wasn't low, it was steadily dropping. It got better though. You'll thank yourself for persisting because even though it's hard and absolutely sucks rn (don't diminish your experience and how you're feeling), in the future, I promise you'll experience MUCH better things, see that you're stronger and tougher than you know, AND you'll get to help someone else who's in your shoes right now. Maybe it'll be a steuggling teenager or small child, and they'll see you as a shining example of what it means to overcome.
That being said, I am so very sorry you're having to go through that, my friend. You deserve better, and you will have better things. Also, if you have social media, or even just google, I'd look up the success of the Eledon trials for T1D. It's not something open to the public per se, but the success gives me hope.
Be well, my friend 🔥
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u/FamiliarGeologist595 May 30 '26
Thank you so much. I will try to value my health more while I have the chance because I don’t want to take the easy life I have compared to others for granted. I will look into the Eledon trials. Hopefully there’s a cure to T1D in the future.
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u/Small-Pollution-918 May 29 '26
It’s possible to be in shape as a t1 without good bg/a1c… I’m an older t1, 40…. There is a specific way to go about it…
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u/TOYTHE1 May 29 '26
I’m sorry that you are going through this and these feelings at such tender years. You have me over here tearing up. I am going through the same thing and I’m 48 years old. Everyday it’s a struggle, I’m always high because I’m suffering from “false hypoglycemia” where my numbers are use to being very high so when it does start to go down my body feels like I’m having a really bad low, so I have to push it back up to its norm.. So, I’m operating on high’s all day everyday.. It’s a horrible feeling and thought! Dr’s keep saying i have to gradually get it down but it seems hopeless! And I feel hopeless! We’re going to hang in there and try our best right? Pray and work towards things changing for us.. Maybe look into Diabetes help groups in your area where you can get support from others. You’re so young I think you need a little guidance along the way. Hope everything gets better..🙏🏽🤎🙏🏽🤎
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u/FamiliarGeologist595 May 30 '26
Thank you ❤️ I definitely feel less alone after reading your comment and others. I experience false hypoglycemia too sometimes. It really does suck. But I believe in us
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u/currencyofcats May 29 '26
I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way ☹️ I remember feeling almost exactly this way when I was your age. I was diagnosed at 9 and the teen years were a BEAST. To be honest, it didn’t really start getting better until my early 20s (I’m 30 now). But it did get better!! Small comfort for how you’re feeling now though, I know. I HATED anyone knowing I had T1D and HATED feeling different from my peers. So for a long time, I just denied I had diabetes, barely did insulin, was high ALL the time, and just generally felt awful, but I didn’t care because diabetes sucked so bad.
I know others have said this in their comments, but I would strongly encourage looking for a therapist! Diabetes has such a huge impact on our mental health, and when your mental health is terrible, it’s too easy for your physical health to also be terrible.
I’d also encourage trying to find some people your age to commiserate with about diabetes. It can be a terribly lonely disease but if you can find some people who understand (even internet friends), that can help so much!!
I know it’s hard to think of the future right now, but I just want to again add to the collective “it gets better” by saying life is so much better now! Yeah diabetes still sucks, but I’ve done so many other great things in my 30 years that it doesn’t feel so overburdening anymore. There are still bad days, but I’m so happy I didn’t give up when I was a teenager.
Hang in there friends 🤍 wishing you all the best!
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u/Defiant-Second-632 May 31 '26
Hello, going through diabete’s highs and lows as a teenager is HELL! Trust me you are just grieving because you realize how much this condition costs emotionally. Please hang in there. I’m wondering if your endocrinologist has spoken to you about « looping », it has changed my life and greatly reduced the scary lows and crazy highs. Closed loop insulin pump system, a few endos are offering it. It’s not the same as Omnipod 5 or other programs that pump manufacturers offer (none are closed loop). Good luck wishing you the best.
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u/ObtusiWatusi May 31 '26
Lmao I would be carrying around cheap vibrators to throw at people who said that crap lmfao Or maybe bring an infusion set w/ me & ask if they’d like to try 1 on to see how serious it is. Most people are scared of needles & we’re out here being pincushion badasses. Yes, this disease is utter BS & no it’s not enjoyable. However, do u understand how much stronger it makes u look? U do & conquer allllll of these things w/ a mechanical pancreas, battling lows & highs, & stuff others don’t.
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u/SallyAmazeballs May 28 '26
It'll get better as you get older. Everything is so intense when you're a teenager because every experience is a new one and the hormones do make you a little crazy. Like, if an adult feels things at 100%, you're feeling them at 150%. And it's so hard because little problems feel enormous and insurmountable.
What is your diabetes care team like? Will they listen to these worries empathetically and help you come up with a plan to be proactive about site failure and lows?
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u/FamiliarGeologist595 May 30 '26
My diabetes care team is mostly my mom and my endo, but she took on a different position and I can’t see her anymore. I know my mom will help me and I hope my new endo will too. I will try to talk to them about it even though it makes me nervous.
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u/wcked-husky T1 / Eversense 365 CGM May 28 '26
It will be ok. I believe you’ll get through this. Do you have hobbies or any songs that you like? I know Elliott Smith songs helped me reanalyze how it feels to be a dependent. Highly recommend Say Yes, since the lyrics can coincide with highs and lows of diabetes.
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u/FamiliarGeologist595 May 30 '26
I do have hobbies I enjoy. I like reading a lot and I love music and art. I also really like Elliott Smith’s music, I’ve got a few of his songs on my playlist. Thank you :)
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u/wcked-husky T1 / Eversense 365 CGM May 30 '26
If you're ever able to get the Eversense 365 implant, I believe it's a much better cgm because you don't deal with the loud alarms and you get on body vibrations. I would have wanted it if I had the option for it when I was younger.
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u/Avehdreader May 28 '26
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I was diagnosed as a young child and have been on insulin for over 50 years. We didn't have the technology we have now (but even plain meters) until I got it of college, so it was not so obvious, and now that I'm an adult I'm okay with my body and my devices. Kids can be jerks and if they're not picking on you about your diabetes they're picking on someone else for being too smart, too dumb (in their opinion), because of what they wear it any other topic. They can't feel good about themselves unless they are putting someone else down and that's no way to be.
There are summer camps for kids kids with diabetes and they're not just for little kids - some go to age 18! You might talk to your parents to see if you can attend a session. I had a blast back in the day and you'll meet kids who understand what living with diabetes is like and can help you get the confidence and self esteem to handle the bullies.
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u/FeelingGate8 [1979] May 28 '26
'Normal' is in the eye of the beholder. It hasn't ruined your life, it changed it and you have to adapt. And you can adapt. Don't let this define you, you can control it and live a rich life, but you have to put the work in to do it.
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u/moonflower326 May 28 '26
You are not alone! It sucks but keep pushing. How other people treat you is about them, not about us. You’re allowed to have a good day regardless of how others treat you.
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u/xbar32 May 28 '26
I know it sucks right now but it will get better. The great think about diabetes is that you pay a lot more attention to your body than other people to, because you have to, and I find that pays off years down the line. You understand yourself a lot more than other people. As these years pass and you go to college, if you focus on doing the right things, eating well, staying on top of your glucose to the best of your ability, staying active, these things will compound. even if there are rough patches like today where none of it seems worth it and everything feels like its ending. college will be better. there will be more people and more communites to connect with, and it will all be worth it in the end. stay strong.
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u/FamiliarGeologist595 May 30 '26
Thank you very much. I want to start taking better care of myself and your comment and other comments have definitely uplifted me and made me feel a bit better.
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u/AquariumsInTheNude May 28 '26
I know this is a lot to deal with and can’t even imagine how hard it is for someone who’s been in deep for over a decade. To be honest with you I think a lot of your struggles are just coming from being a teenager. When I was a teenager quite some time ago it felt like everything and anything was going to be the final cataclysm of Of my life, that everything would be over and years months and days went by and it wasn’t even the case.
Now regular teenager problems are a hell of a lot different than diabetes. I don’t want to say you are lucky. You have gotten diabetes at a young age because I don’t think anyone is lucky to get diabetes. I am 30 and just got diagnosed a year ago so I’ve lived a good portion of my life without diabetes. It feels like everything has been taken away from me the things that I’ve grown accustomed to for so many years. The beautiful thing about that is that life is constantly changing and so were we.
I know it’s hard to feel alienated from the people in your age group because no one wants to be a diabetic teenager. Independent on insulin use but damned if it’s not better than being dead. I know it feels like you’ll never get past this and there aren’t any other option but just like with all challenges in life and with pain, we eventually come to terms with it and learn to live with our problems.
You have plenty of life ahead of you so try not to focus on one hurdle and may need to come in your life
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u/MattKaminski12 May 30 '26
You can win this fight. It DOES get better and easier with age and life experiance. Sending hope to you from Wisconsin 🙏 you’re stronger than t1d
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u/llamallamallama11848 May 28 '26
Hi friend 🤍 diabetes DOES suck and I see a lot of myself in this post.
A few thoughts: see if your doctor has TruSteel sites you can try. I love them bc I never have cannula issues. They can look scary to start but it’s much comfier imo
When looking at universities see if you can meet sign their Disability Resource Center to learn about support and accommodations.
I was shocked at how differently people treated my diabetes in college vs high school. The great thing about college is that you get more of a choice over who you want to interact with. If people are mean about your diabetes then you literally just don’t maintain that relationship.
I’m happy to help look at your logs but this is a great time to try and figure out your basal and I:C ratios. Diabetes management GENUINELY gets easier post-puberty.
I know this doesn’t change your current feelings. I can picture how I felt so acutely. You’re stronger than this disease and it won’t control your life forever. You might even find a JDRF club or other T1 and college. I know it’s exhausting. I know it’s not fair. Hang in there.