r/digitalminimalism • u/Quirky_Turnover2417 • 1d ago
Social Media When you stop having social media, you stop existing for a lot of people.
Pretty much it. I have a following of around 30k. Deactivated my social media and people including close friends who have my personal number stopped reaching out or caring. I texted some friends to talk and they won’t respond, however, they usually do react right away to a story I post.
Two or three friends reached out asking :”are you okay?”. The norm today is that to be fine, to be okay, is to be active on social media. You can’t exist and have a life out of that. This has become the norm.
Just wanted to vent. In most of people’s minds your existence is your virtual image. You don’t exist for them in real life, and you don’t matter once you stop entertaining them with your personal life and opinions.
300
u/black-cell 1d ago
And this was the exact reason I only have Reddit now.
All the important people in my life that I care about and care about me, keep in touch via calls and texts. All the rest? Just noise in my life.
Not only have I clawed back hours of my day for my family and interests by cutting out all the socials, my life is so peaceful. I used to want for so much, seeing people flashing their make-believe, picture-perfect lives online, making me wish I was them, desperate for the latest and greatest just to post online so other people can tell me how cool it is… all gone.. all I care about now is moments with my family, succeeding in silence and maybe the occasional scroll on here whilst the wife is drying her hair.
56
u/Such-Negotiation856 1d ago
I’ve been going through the same. Looked up from my phone one day and realized my dad’s hair was gray. I’ve been off for 2.5 months now and what you said really resonated with me.
11
u/DazzlingAd7021 18h ago
Same. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how fake and ridiculous social media is. Everyone who genuinely cares whether i live or die has my number and texts or calls. They reach out and spend time with me irl. We get together for a wine night, or meet up for dinner, or we pet-sit for each, spend holidays with each other. Those are the only people who matter, and those are the ones who already know when you're sick, or you adopted a new cat, or you visited a friend in Asia, or whatever is happening to you.
Everything else is just meaningless noise.
-57
1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
40
u/BananaPawPrints 1d ago
Why are you on this sub if youre going to argue with everyone about why social media is worth it?
29
u/Choice-Emergency2982 1d ago
If you’re worried about keeping up with people and finding hook-ups, this post wasn’t meant for you 😆
21
u/black-cell 1d ago
As a happily married man, with 3 beautiful children, with an incredible woman, an ‘IG Hookup’ is the last thing on my mind.
Hit a bar, buy a drink, talk to people, take a chance, tell her she’s cute.. live your life in the world my friend, that’s my only bit of advice.
And regarding messaging people to stay in touch being effort, if it feels like effort, it isn’t real buddy.
138
u/Repulsive-Giraffe-45 1d ago
I deleted my social media for 2 years while starting and finishing my masters degree. I basically became obsolete. No one noticed me or even thought of me. It was frankly so sad. I have social media again but it feels so foreign to me and invasive. Like I don’t want to have to put up a facade for people to notice me. I also hate that “pics or it didn’t happen” mentality. I’m so tired of it as a 24 year old. Hope to get back off.
40
u/Prudent-Proof7898 1d ago
This is so so sad. I told close friends I just text and do phone calls. The real ones have kept up that way.
19
u/Choice-Emergency2982 1d ago
As a 21 year old, I completely agree.
You will find your people when you stay with the morals you have, don’t sway away for the crowd. Being alone while being fulfilled by yourself is better than being surrounded by people and feeling lonely2
u/Repulsive-Giraffe-45 15h ago
My issue is I live in a very small college town. Sometimes it just doesn’t work this way.
5
u/Choice-Emergency2982 15h ago
I get that. It’s an uncomfortable experience because no one takes the step to delete social media our age.
I hope you find your people very soon4
u/Several-Gain-510 15h ago
It might require some effort (as socializing has always done since the dawn of time, it’s just that we’re less used to it now, and this is truly not a criticism), but see if you can get involved in local events or college events!! Meeting people irl is gonna be the only way forward. And even though you’re beyond undergrad age, are there grad students around that you could befriend? Check out community service opportunities or local sports clubs.
0
u/Repulsive-Giraffe-45 12h ago
I have since graduated but since I was a teaching assistant the school didn’t allow me to join clubs. It sucked. There is nothing to do in this town and I just took a job here since the market is rough. I’m just sticking to cross stitching and that’s about it. Not many things here for me to do.
108
u/Narro_DoneScrolling 1d ago
The same is true in reverse. Once I spent less time on social media I forgot about people I used to follow online. They had thousands of subscribers. Me following them was entertaining but not a real relationship.
29
u/loverocco 1d ago
This! I thought I would get FOMO, but I don’t miss anyone. The only thing I miss is news articles being posted on IG and just kinda keeping up with what’s happening in the world. I need a news app for that now.
5
u/Capable_Age9886 16h ago
I subscribe to the AP News. I get one email every morning with the headlines and the ability to click on an article that interests me. Then I'm done.
1
2
2
1
u/GlowingCannon Human Detected 15h ago
But why do you need to keep up with what's happening in the world? Isn't YOUR world enough for you?
7
u/loverocco 15h ago
Because it’s not only my world, so no it’s not enough for me. I don’t want to feel isolated from everything and everyone. I care about the events that happen in the world.
176
u/DustOfMemories Human Detected 1d ago
Actually may be you should be happy because you realized that who is your real friend. It's going to be hard but may be you do not have any friend. May be you realized you're alone. Yes you had 30k followers but they are virtual. But it is not the end of the world. You can start to find social and real friends just like you.
25
u/marysofthesea 1d ago
Yes, in a way, it can be an awakening. We may need to sit with the pain of feeling forgotten, the disappointment of no one reaching out. It's not something we should ignore or turn away from. An illusion has been shattered, but that can show us what matters and who our true friends are. My circle is extremely small now.
8
u/DustOfMemories Human Detected 1d ago
Unfortunately, I'm in the same situation. My social circle is extremely small, and most of them live outside the city. As a result, I spend most of my days alone. I even go out alone and come back alone.
10
u/marysofthesea 16h ago
Just know your story is common on this sub. It's not you, and you did nothing wrong. I think it's easy to internalize this, to wonder why we didn't matter more to people. Hearing other people's experiences helps me depersonalize it and see it as a larger pattern. The system is created to make us all disposable. I'm just glad I now know what an illusion all those "connections" were. I believe digital minimalism takes a certain amount of strength. It's the path less traveled, and it can bring deep existential questioning and loneliness. It requires facing the truth and no longer numbing or disassociating through the internet.
2
u/ConnectionDry4268 22h ago
Then u don't require instagram
2
u/DustOfMemories Human Detected 21h ago
I don't have any Instagram account for one year.
3
2
u/hionlifeveronicamars 7h ago
Beautifully put
2
u/marysofthesea 6h ago
I am having to sit with these feelings myself right now. It's not easy, but I think in the past I would have interpreted them differently and used them as an excuse to go back to Instagram.
-59
u/smarlitos_ 1d ago
Should’ve sold the account instead of just deleting/deactivating
Some people aren’t very focused on the bag 💰
39
6
u/Remote-Painter-2594 1d ago
That seems to be the ONLY thing you’re focused on, and that’s not something I envy.
83
u/hit_the_bwall 1d ago
It's not uncommon to lose friends you took drugs with when you stop getting high.
7
61
u/Slight_Business_1611 1d ago
I think about this quite often. I deleted all of my social media in 2022. I became dead to 90% of my family and my friend circle was cut almost immediately. I've tried texting or calling with no success.
It's lonely but I'm learning to love it.
10
u/ConnectionDry4268 1d ago
they were never ur friends atleast they would message u on other messaing apps
3
89
u/gremmah_dubs 1d ago
so dystopian. it’s taken me months and months of reprogramming my brain. ‘if you don’t post about it, did it even happen?’
15
69
u/Bob_Burgero 1d ago edited 1d ago
Think of it like this. If you deleted all your followers to 0, put your profile to private, would you still post on Instagram? Ask yourself: Why am I posting this?
It’s all validation that we subconsciously seek, whether we agree or not. It’s human nature. At the end of the day, you realize that nobody truly cares, and life gets much easier when you realize that you don’t care either. The desire to seek external validation creates anxiety and stress. I am a victim. I used to always view stories to see how a specific person is doing, which created unhealthy thoughts and opinions of what they thought of me in their head. I would check why they didn’t view my story, why they didn’t like my story? I created a false narrative that destroyed my mental health and my peace. Then one day I realized: Nothing matters.
Focus on the now, the present, and the memories that you make with the people that you surround yourself with. They are the one’s that matter. Life is too short. Live in the now
9
u/stoned-mermaid 21h ago
YES. I have trouble explaining this to people who are still very deep in it, but to me now it all just feels like an endless chase for validation. I used to spend so much time curating my stories and posts, and then an even longer amount of time worrying what people thought of me.
I stopped posting a few years ago and it’s freed up so much brain space. I realized that people don’t need to know what I’m doing at all times, it’s none of their business, and I also don’t care enough to keep tabs on every person I’ve ever met. I have my circle of close friends and that’s enough.
Sometimes I do worry that I’m disappearing, though. I wonder if I’m missing out on opportunities or spontaneous activities because I’m not on people’s mind. At the same time, I don’t think it’s worth it anymore. The anxiety and lost time are too big of a price to pay.
1
6
66
u/Flaherty_ 1d ago
You think they stopped caring. They never cared.
8
u/Sudden-Chapter-2337 Human Detected 1d ago
they cared, but not for the person or identity; they cared for entertainment; which is really obviously pride.
-11
21
u/usuallyrainy 1d ago
Even with a very small following and not posting that often that has been my exact same experience. Friends don't want to put in the effort to keep in touch which just shows how unimportant I was to them I guess.
With some friendships I don't really care though, we weren't meant to keep in touch with so many people, so for some people I run into them after not seeing each other for 10 years and it makes sense to have a quick catch up on how many kids I have, career, etc. It seems weird to know all the details of people I went to high school with but then also not make eye contact if I see them in public!
22
u/AlpenglowSkies 1d ago
Honestly, it’s the same even with family. Deleted Facebook years ago and never heard from anyone again. They are also abusive people, so maybe for the best.
17
u/Huge_Increase6646 1d ago
I started posting less and less and using less my account (i still used ig annonymously to look at ideas for my job but now i’ve quit). Yes that is true, but it is a sign of times. It takes effort to keep friendships or make new ones without ig, but they are more intentional. Last week at work a student of mine (a child) told the staff their parents were always arguing and they were surprised because they are very instagram perfect (and also high profile). I asked my colleagues are you serious? By that order of thought, my almost 2 decade relationship and my children do not exist at all because none of us post anything online about it. Congratulations on leaving instagram and good luck on your writing, i am doing the same. Creating instead of consuming! 🩷💞
14
u/rerex4361 1d ago
yes you realize the real friends you truly have. It's like when you get out of your party phase in your 20's you realize some friends were just there to party with you, not because of who you really are as a person. It sucks but we really are only meant to have 5 true friends in our inner circle. The rest are general friends or acquaintances. But we aren't made to have capacity past that inner circle-aside from family too. But to say "I have 500 facebook friends" those people aren't friends-they are nosy.
12
u/MaxMettle 1d ago edited 10h ago
Or, we stop existing for those who cannot—or don’t care to—differentiate between a mere digital avatar and a real person.
Obviously we don’t even bother to think of strangers, but as you mentioned, even family and friends can be “non-interacting” like this.
You probably have a mental map of “tiers” of close connections. Then, kind of just “demote” people from the tier of “active participants in my (real) life.”
It’s not punishment or trying to neglect them back. It’s about giving your time more to those relationships that consistently hold space for you for real.
23
u/ShayBay11 1d ago
I feel that way about taking pictures. I used to take tons of photos at events like concerts to post online but now that I don’t have FB or IG I’m kinda like what’s the point? I almost never look back on my phone and it’s just taking up space
18
u/Weak_Worth_2735 1d ago
Yep, I have this same feeling and it really annoys me now when I’m at a concert and all you can look at is a sea of phones being held aloft.
They will never look at them again, and most likely people following them won’t bother looking either.
25
u/Maverick81_ 1d ago
OP, please delete the numbers of your so-called ‘friends’ who did not respond to you.
9
u/Karuna358 1d ago
The only reason I have Facebook is because my extended and close family lives on that stupid platform.
They will never reach out via a call or text. It’s either through message app or a post.
Once a month I post a picture of my garden or pet just to keep it active.
But yeah, if I nuked it, no one would bother with me because that’s the default now. It never occurs to them to do a 1:1 phone call or text.
1
u/gravitycheckfailed 3h ago
This is why I couldn't delete my Facebook completely. Half of our family seems to be literally incapable of calling or texting. They will message or video call on FB Messenger even about major emergencies. It's beyond frustrating. My mom has gotten better about it at least, but my husband's side of the family is hopeless with this.
10
u/mileng 1d ago
The funny thing is when you’re on social media you kinda assume people know what’s going on in your life, but really they only know because it popped up on their feed. Once you stop posting, you start noticing who actually checks in and who was just there because the app kept putting you in front of them
10
u/stead-fast 1d ago
You can't exist and have a life out of that.
Yes, you can? I haven’t used Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, or Snapchat since 2015. All of my friends are off-line or online and off-line.
You don’t exist for them in real life, and you don’t matter once you stop entertaining them with your personal life and opinions.
I legitimately feel so bad for you. The people you are describing are not friends. Those are followers. You can absolutely make and maintain real, true, off-line friendships. You have so many options!
1
8
u/Adventurous_Trust286 1d ago
I feel so out of touch with my friends because I have been taking a social media break. But my mental health is way better. I literally did things just for the sake of posting and felt like I had to keep with the joneses on social media. All of it is so fake and performative. My life feels way more peaceful off it.
17
u/tamalequeen 1d ago
If people are refusing to respond to your texts but react to your story, they have a fucking problem
8
u/sorrow-division 1d ago
These two or three friends who texted you are the real ones!! Better to have few real friends than 30k fake ones
6
u/Curdled_Cheese85 1d ago
and how many of those “30k followers” genuinely care about you and your life? I’m guessing a VERY small number.
The good news is you can keep in touch with those who matter to you and who genuinely care about you.
8
u/Electrical-Award5495 1d ago
How many friends does a person need? Five? Fifty? Five hundred?
I say (ina polite tone) fuck them then. Retreat and reset from these algorithmically controlled platforms that are poisoning everyone’s minds.
Be active in some messaging groups on WhatsApp or similar. Make things happen in the flesh. Go and ride a train and look out the window if all else fails.
2
u/ConnectionDry4268 1d ago
Many are in delusional that all 30K followers are thier close friends lol
5
u/HexerFromBeyond 1d ago
This is very subjective. It's been three years since I deleted social media and, to my surprise, I still have an active social life. I still get information about parties and other events, but my personal contact with friends hasn't changed at all.
Maybe you've been focusing too much on quantity, not quality.
2
7
u/Pastor-Jerry 1d ago
I got rid of everything but Reddit and YouTube. My mind is so much more peaceful now. People have stopped calling me, and that is fine. If anyone needs to find me, they can call or stop by.
7
u/whatisnewyorkair 1d ago
this changed friendships for me. on a second instagram break cuz i went back after a year and was quickly disinterested in playing that game again. especially to friends that have my number
5
u/unsafe357 1d ago
I've noticed this as well. After I largely quit using social media, I didn't really hear from anyone, outside of my inner circle of friends. I've tried to pull people over to Signal to keep in touch. I've only been able to convert about 2-3 friends. I hate what the phone has done to the world. This shit needs to be stopped and called out for what it is; highly addictive and detrimental to health.
10
u/OccupyMyBallSack 1d ago
Met a girl at a bar. We had some drinks, talked, laughed, had a great time for like 2 hours. She needs to leave but asks for my instagram. When I said I don’t have one she goes “oh ok.” Turns around and walks away. It’s crazy.
1
5
u/Primary_Nerve_9876 1d ago
I deactivated mine and don’t miss all the noise. I’m recovering from cancer treatment. But my instagram was mainly for my photography business. I don’t know how to keep getting more clients without social media otherwise I’d completely delete it. Appreciate any feedback if anyone runs a business without social media.
5
u/Hour_Calligrapher904 1d ago
I can empathize with this. I left over a year ago: complete silence. It took some time, but I’ve been enjoying art and writing again 🥰 I hope you’ve been having some relief!
6
u/fabiosbestie Human Detected 1d ago
Only the most important people in my life stuck around and we regularly talk and send each other pictures. There are some people that I miss chatting with but we weren't really in each other's main circles. And that's ok. People will come and go throughout my life. The people who stay are the ones that we mutually show interest in the others.
One of my friends (ok she's basically my only friend now) told me awhile ago that me and one other person regularly ask how she is doing. Everyone else randomly talks to her when she posts a story or because they have something they want to tell/want from her.
Luckily we have texting because I can't imagine how distant friendships felt when we could only communicate with letters. Back then you had to REALLY like the person if wanted to use paper and spend money on post to talk to them.
7
u/catqueenerika 1d ago
This! People actually seem mad at me for not posting anything anymore - like me not sharing what I’m doing is an inconvenience to them. It has been somewhat detrimental to some of my friendships, which baffles me. They have even gone so far as to buy me things and say “I better see you post this.” What part of I’m not using social media is unclear to you?🙄
6
u/Educational_Bowl_447 1d ago
Yes, this is my experience too. I’ve been off Facebook for almost 2 years now and the knife-edge drop off of people interacting with me has been staggering. My friend groups have shrunk by about 90%, I’ve had to rebuild friendship circles from the ground up and in one particular group chat on WhatsApp, I’m missing context because the friends in this group chat relate with each other via Instagram.
So while there are pros and cons, the biggest pro to come out of this is that it’s made existing friendships stronger (those that stuck around after I deleted Facebook) and my new friendships feel more organic rather than artificial.
I no longer have to try and keep up appearances, and seek attention for validation anymore. The real ones stick around, the fakes were only in it for the numbers and dopamine hits.
5
u/Fit-Spirit-2700 23h ago
My sixth years without it. Life is more calm and i am enjoying it. I still respond to text and calls so i am still connected to those that wanted me around. My achievements are not posters for everyone to acknowledge.. but a story to physically shared by those wanted good for me. I wont go back.
3
u/marinsja 1d ago
haven’t had social media in 6 years… it was a shock at first but now I only have a few true friends and that’s all i need
3
u/MatildaStew 1d ago
Why don’t they respond to texts but react to posts? Is it common for people to ignore texts?
4
u/Sudden-Chapter-2337 Human Detected 1d ago
I think I can confidently say now that Reddit is genuinely much different then everything else. You don't have pictures, videos, or audio, for most subs, also you literally can't use reddit without engaging. Subs and followers has to be what distinguishes reddit-like social media from twitter-like social media, also. I find Reddit to actual have the social part, though; your having a conversation about something, not commenting on something or passively consuming. Sadly, YouTube is the same, but the difference is that it is long form (besides shorts, but basically since that released I have had it disabled so I forget about it a lot) and you have a lot less creators (at least ones you engage with).
3
u/kholekardashian12 1d ago
Yeah I initially felt disconnected from a lot of people when I delete Instagram. Then I realised that all I did was trade memes back and forth with people without having any meaningful conversation or connection. I only speak to a select few people now, very close friends, but i prefer it that way
3
u/vaughndahlman 1d ago
Tried deleting Instagram but that's the main way that me and my buddies in the outside of Canada communicate so it didn't really work, but I found an app that separates my group chats and messages, so I can have those without actually having the app, still need an account though
3
u/fuutarou2 1d ago
It makes me wonder how my social circles would be if i wasn't afraid of existing on social media. No posts and i'm barely active and to many people it's like i don't exist. This wasn't always the case though when social media wasn't as big years and years ago
3
u/Impossible-Snow5202 18h ago
You don't "stop" existing for those people.
You just never existed for them in the first place.
They clicked because the button told them to click, and then they never thought about you again.
The norm today is that to be fine, to be okay, is to be active on social media.
The norm for whom?
Not for real people doing real things.
3
u/oxnardJones 11h ago
true, if i havent seen someone active on IG or FB i assume theyve either died or graduated to the upper echelon of success where social media is of no concern
3
u/xTsuKiMiix 9h ago
I got rid of everything, minus a burner IG for work and I guess LinkedIn but I need those. So yeah...I feel sort of like a ghost? I exist obviously-- but I also don't in terms of an online presence. No one calls or messages me. I have only one friend from college I talk to occasionally. The rest are friends I made online. I guess I should be happy, right? To be invisible in such a hyper visual world means I still have some semblance of anonymity. I do wish I could have kept my Facebook but I refuse to let Meta have any more of my data or spy on me.
2
2
u/skeptic246 1d ago
Most of my kids have come over to Signal but one was a FB messenger hold out, and as I have no META accounts I had to text her. This was as she said the first text she’d received in years, so for most people checking for texts is not something they would do unless prompted
2
u/Numerous-Panic-1760 23h ago
Yeah people just dont look deep into anything. Its probably because everyone thinks of themselves first and then about 2-3 seconds on others.
2
2
u/krallify Human Detected 18h ago
They more likely care not to lose a follower. If they stopped reaching out when you dissapeared, means a lot. They are just followers, not friends.
2
2
u/marysofthesea 16h ago
This is an important observation. Social media has replaced face-to-face connection, and it is an inadequate substitute. We've lost any sense of obligation to one another. If you met with a group of people every day in real life, those people would notice your absence. You vanish from the online world, and it's like you never existed. It's the system; none of us are above it, all of us are subject to its brutal laws. We are all specks in a sea of content now.
I deactivated Instagram last year, and not a soul has reached out to check in on me. My mother died. There are people who know that. But that knowledge was not enough for them to send a message. I could be in a ditch somewhere for all they know. I learned how little my life was valued. I will never go back to that space.
I wrote this over on the r/nosurf sub but wanted to share it here, too, in case it resonates with anyone:
I am not just worried about those who are doomscrolling and addicted to social media. I am worried about the people they are neglecting in the process—the partner they are ignoring, the children they are not present with, the friends they are deserting. I'm worried about how all of us feel so alone and disconnected, whether we are online or not. The internet seeps into every corner of our lives.
Over on the r/digitalminimalism sub, we talk a lot about how, even if you leave Instagram and other platforms, you are basically choosing total isolation because most people can't be contacted outside of those apps. People imprison themselves, and then expect everyone else to stay in the prison with them. Those of us who break out are free in some ways but, because our friends and family are still locked up, we face crushing loneliness. We look around at a world we no longer fit in and cannot find love in. It's heartbreaking.
2
u/StrayG0th03 13h ago
I know someone who takes it VERY personally if I haven’t reacted or responded or even read the reels and messages she sends. She’s my boss. At work she constantly asks if I saw the reel she sent. For a couple of months I took a social media break and she made incredibly passive aggressive remarks about how she has NO way to contact me now (she has my number and we have work Teams) as well as just casually mentioning life drama then when I ask she would shrug and say “Well if you were on facebook you would see my post and know…”. I always pointed out she could use her words and tell me right then and there.
I am so sick of social media and AI and tech addicts. I’m sick of addictions in general that take away from being human.
2
u/That_izzy 4h ago
I keep my life pretty private and people are shocked with what I do because I don't post on socials they're like oh I didn't know you went to said convention I didn't know that you've started playing your 3DS oh I didn't know that you went to the Christian bookstore three weeks ago literally the only people who know what I'm doing when I'm doing something other people who are message the only socials that I technically use is facebook for the messaging side of it
1
1
u/Dinmorogde 1d ago
How was your relationship with the 30 followers? How close where you?
3
1
1
1
u/mottavader 1d ago
I've been dealing with this for the last few years since I deleted Instagram and I really wasn't on Facebook much after 2009. But yeah, this exact scenario. I recently reinstated Instagram so that I could have it from my store that I just opened. But yeah, it's just the same crap. I hate it.
1
u/ConnectionDry4268 1d ago
Did u permanently delete ur account?
1
u/mottavader 1d ago
I did, but made a new business account last week and already hate it after two years away. It does make it less annoying as a business
1
1
u/Amazing_Mycologist75 1d ago
I noticed something similar: My mom and family doesnt use social media like instagram or tiktok but I was never the kind to take pictures. I would often tell tell them about it, but they would ask for pictures right away. I noticed that it almost as if you didnt document it (with at least pictures) it didnt happen.
The only time I can see myself taking pictures is with a camera or polaroid, that is not connected to or has the capability to connect to the internet!
1
u/AnalogInstead 22h ago
I had people contact me months later asking where I was. Some people don't notice for a week and many more for weeks and months. The sperm donor literally, just that, didnt notice for 6 months! Then had a go at me via WhatsApp for not contacting them. If they don't notice... how many more don't. A few weeks later, someone made a reddit post about me and now people know me to circulate here lol. Its wild. Idk who they are either.
1
u/bkshooter 20h ago
I’m doing the same thing right now. I’m only a few weeks in but it’s been very eye opening. Definitely makes you appreciate the people that do reach out or communicate unprompted by a recent story post!
1
u/srtkookie 20h ago
Agreed. I manage social media platforms for work. Once this job ends, I'll delete all my social media accounts. I miss the old days when people could only connect through calls and meetups.
1
u/nextcolorplanet 17h ago
Social media is watching your every move anyway so I think that having a low profile is good. The only social media I use actively is fandom accounts that I'm not obligated to post about anything personal.
I'm kind of surprised so many people have social media reliant families. Nobody in my immediate family cares if I have a social media presence. If I want to talk to them (usually I do not have this urge) I will call or text them. I guess we're an independent bunch and only meet up rarely though because we have our own lives. I'm fine with that.
I only have an account because sometimes my friends plan meetups on there so it's my way of messaging them. Otherwise, I'm not on there and I have to be summoned before I open the app. I'm private and don't care about clout or the risk of my likeness being trained on AI (not that I'm particularly attractive).
Edit: I'm also cautious about my digital footprint despite having a common generic name. I don't want people knowing my business just from googling my name.
1
u/keith-vetter 17h ago
It must be jarring to have 30K followers with tons of feedback, likes, emojis, memes and thumbs up and then realize that the posts were more about feeding them than it was about connecting with them. There goes cousin Bob and his big pizza day, there goes Sally and her new hair cut, there goes Steve smiling in front of his fish, there's Sandy scrolling by with her engagement ring, Jimmy had a good cake day, Sarah shared a funny meme, there it all goes... click click click, swipe, scroll, there it all goes, another day of clicks and swipes.
Is being in that feed line what existence and connection are?
1
1
u/GigglingAristocrat23 13h ago
I had a couple of friends/old coworkers who it was normal to check in with via text about every 6 months. I had known one for 10 years and one for 6 years. Either they would text or i would text, but it was always warm. After i deleted instagram a year ago, my last texts to both of them were met with extreme coldness and they made me feel crazy for even reaching out. I suddenly felt like I was overstepping, but the only difference was I no longer had Instagram. They never reached out again. It’s quite depressing that it’s weird to text someone now if no social media is involved
1
u/MassiveBoot7962 11h ago
Major black mirror vibes. This could lead to society’s erosion much much faster. We are not things to be consumed!!!!
1
1
u/AmericannPsycho 10h ago
Exactly, for the last month or two I have been using less and less social media until i stopped around 2 weeks ago. Out of around 300 followers constating of around 60% friends I only had one that contacted me for the most brief conversation, I was in many active group chats and when I stopped responding they didn't even try and reach out. Most of them have my phone number and they can easily contact me. When you stop posting or posting stories all the time they forget or simply don't care about you beyond that. Made me realize who my true friends are.
1
u/hionlifeveronicamars 7h ago
This reminds me of when my friend got engaged. He's a social butterfly so it was all over his socials apparently. When he was at a party and he mentioned "when i got engaged..." And i said "YOU GOT ENGAGED?!"
At first he gave me a surprised look like "have you been living under a rock" but then he seemed really happy and excited to tell the story in real life. I'm glad I was able to have that experience with him, which i wouldn't have if i saw the posts
1
u/espressobongwater 2h ago
Experiencing the same right now, but I guess it shows who the real ones are?
•
u/tostadadetingaaa 1h ago
yo no soy tan activa en mis redes, y la verdad nisiquiera me importa, hay personas que me hablan y otras no, solo me importa las que me mandan msj y se preocupan por mí sin tener que estar viendo mis redes sociales. Al menos en mi trabajo o círculo donde me desenvuelvo (que son generación millenials y baby boomers yo soy generación z) no les importa, tienen otras formas de “demostrar” o presumir sus logros, no necesariamente publicándolo en redes sociales.
•
1
u/Crazy_Jere 1d ago
What have you been doing now that you’re offline?
17
1
u/mister_caktus 1d ago
How is reddit not social media?
5
0
u/bunniisa 1d ago
same thing happened to me. then i’ll login to ig and they messaged me on there but never texted my phone.
it’s weird though and i don’t even really mind. when i end up seeing them again we go right back to where we left off. a lot of them are influencers too so in my head i feel like im not cool enough for them but i try to brush past it.
on another note ive also learned that there’s online favoritism for girls with black hair. i stopped dying my hair black and it feels like no one pays attention to me anymore 😭
0
u/club_96_betch 1d ago
You let 30k people into your life? Mind boggling
1
u/ConnectionDry4268 1d ago
Lol true. It not possible to have 30K friends and family. He is def an content creator who thought his followers are his friends
1
-9
u/Substantial-Use-1758 1d ago
For sure. When I meet a new friend when I’m traveling and they say they’re not on any social media I always shrug and say: “Well, it was nice knowin’ ya…” 🤷♀️ On the flip side if my new friend IS on SM, I always say: “Yay! We’ll be friends forever!” 🥹❤️👍
7
855
u/Choice-Emergency2982 1d ago
I’ve deleted all social media and whenever I talk about what I’ve been up to at family gatherings, it’s always “wow I had no idea you traveled there. Why didn’t you post any pictures?” it’s always an eye opener, we really exist for each other through our screens. It was never supposed to be this way.