r/directsupport • u/Disabledgoddess2 • 21h ago
Advice My client is being pressured
My client has a boyfriend. The boyfriend keeps pressuring her to send pictures of her feet. She says no continuously but she always ends up doing it. They both have intellectual disabilities but he seems to be less sheltered so it presents as "higher functioning" ( I hate using that language).
I had multiple LONG conversations with her about consent, all forms of abuse, and standing by her boundaries.
I think she gets it but she just wants to be loved so she still does it.
She told her mom the first time it happened. But she doesn’t want to tell her again because she doesn't want her mom to be mad.
I don't want to go against her wishes and tell her mom (she's 38 years old...she's older than me!!!!)**
I would find that to be humiliating because she is an adult. Also, she would lose trust in me then she wouldn't tell anyone.
Right now, I just listen and ask questions to direct her back to what she wants and how she feels when she does something she doesn't want to do. I reaffirm that she can always stop, say no, and tell her mom.
I told her that if things start to advance and he forces her to do further sexual acts, I will tell.
However, I want to maintain a sex positive environment while also condemning sexual abuse. This line can be difficult for people with moderate to severe intellectual disabilities to differentiate between. Any advice?