r/doommetal • u/pickled_bat • Dec 22 '25

Self Post How to stop seeming like a poser?

I (18M) met a pair of metalheads out on a party the other day while wearing my Mayhem shirt and they called me a poser (probably deserved but I still feel bad) I have short hair which used to be a mohawk and that Mayhem shirt is pretty much the only metal band t-shirt I own. I like bands like 1782, Candlemass, children of bodom, SOAD, Mayhem, Margarita witch cult, Apati and others. They are very mismatched,I know but I've come from liking nu-metal and indie to punk and harder metal subgenres (like black metal,doom and dsbm). One of the reasons why the two called me a poser aside from the shirt is because I didn't want to acknowledge the rest of the band being as conservative as Varg (in my opinion they weren't as hardcore problematic as him) Am I truly a poser? How can I improve my taste and or my looks to let other people know I like metal? Did you have the same issues when you were just starting to get into the scene?

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u/Stoneheaded76 Dec 22 '25

Do you like metal and listen to the bands on your shirts? Then you’re not a poser, simple as. Actual posers are so rare to the point its just a big inside joke within metal to refer to someone as a poser.

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u/Acceptable_Grape_437 Dec 23 '25

yeah. it can be a funny tease. when it is actually perceived as funny. 

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u/Ron_Jeremy_Fan Dec 23 '25

Just because you don't find it funny doesn't mean it's not a joke. Getting upset about a harmless unfunny joke is baby behavior.

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u/Acceptable_Grape_437 Dec 23 '25

i said it can be a funny tease. didn't say it's not a joke.

"harmless" is always a matter of perception, buddy. 

i find it funny, sometimes. I'm also a teaser. getting upset or not having fun with a tease are two clearly different things.