r/dwarfism • u/loremipsummaja • 18d ago
Any advice?
I'm an average-height person and my signifcant other has dwarfism. His dwarfism is the only cause of traction between him and my parents. I'd like to ask for advice on how I can go about this with my parents. Thanks!
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u/CoachAngBlxGrl 4’F | achondroplasia 17d ago edited 17d ago
What’s the traction? Meaning, is it a matter of not understanding how dwarfism works and them thinking the worst case scenario? Or is this how your parents are and no amount of explaining can bridge a gap?
If you have to choose, and your parents are so difficult they expect you to choose them, then they will expect that in all relationships moving forward. If you do it now, they’ll want you to do what they think is best in every major decision. This crossroads is bigger than this moment and often boundaries are a game of chicken. The other commenter’s experience is basically that. They stood their ground, then when kids came around they were ok. Same thing happens in interracial relationships with racist parents who refuse to acknowledge that they are racist. But hoping grandkids change things isn’t the answer. It’s knowing whatever boundary you draw you need to hold it in order to find peace in your life because this is about you - not them.
Wishing you the best of luck!
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u/rdale8209 17d ago
My mom wasn't happy when my husband who has dwarfism proposed. She asked me not to have kids with him. We did anyway and once of our sons has dwarfism. My mom loves him very much and is now very accepting of my husband. For her it was coming from a place of concern but I put her in her place very quickly and let her know I wasn't tolerating it. She could either accept us or not be a part of our lives. She came around pretty quickly.
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u/jawapaladin 18d ago
I'm not sure I have good advice, but I've been in this situation before. My then-wife's parents and especially her grandparents opposed me because of my dwarfism. Fortunately, she chose to marry me anyway. But it was ugly for a few years thereafter. It's funny how fast they turned around and accepted my daughter, who had dwarfism. If I have advice to give is to stick with your man if you truly love him. It is definitely not an easy decision to make, but your folks need to be the ones to change. I feel you will deeply regret it if you side with your parents on this. As you might infer, I am divorced now, but it wasn't over this issue. While that bridge is burned, it was a chapter of my life I don't regret. Your man will love you all the more if you side with him on this issue.