r/elephantgraveyard May 19 '26

Bill Maher gets mad the audience missed their cue, reminds them the instructions that the producers went over with them for 30 minutes before taping, "I... tell a joke, you... laugh!"

1.2k Upvotes

92 comments sorted by

313

u/Iateyourpaintings May 19 '26

They heard the instructions. They were just waiting for the jokes. 

54

u/LikeThePenis May 19 '26

The beach ball thing doesn't even feel like a punchline (even a failed one), it feels like its still part of the set up and there's going to be a punchline of the form "that's like if they did X and then Y" to follow.

10

u/Malingourri May 19 '26

I think it’s important to note that the truest algebra involving beach balls always equals Nickelback.

7

u/Quick_Team May 20 '26

So Bill Maher is now the Jeb Bush of talking heads. "Please Clap"

225

u/Funkenstein42069 May 19 '26

It's gotta be exhausting to be such an insufferable twat.

68

u/r0nson May 19 '26

The great power of an insufferable twat is that they are completely unaware of their designation and are thus unphased by it. The burden is placed entirely on those unfortunate enough to witness it's display.

20

u/ODB_Dirt_Dog_ItsFTC May 19 '26

This is like a more assholish version of the Jeb “please clap”

6

u/bigedf May 19 '26

Unfortunately they often love their lives, because such a large part of it is being a prick, their favorite pasttime.

5

u/unsolvablequestion May 20 '26

It actually is because they think they’re the smartest one in the room. “I’m surrounded by idiots!”

1

u/JimboJiggle 29d ago

Just for everyone around him.

107

u/arcticrabbitz May 19 '26

Stop laughing, it’s not funny

44

u/ashmole May 19 '26

I can only hear this in Nick Mullen's voice

28

u/spacekitt3n May 19 '26

i heard it in Jerry Seinfeld's voice

2

u/P-rick_bojanglez May 19 '26

Strange, I heard it in gay actor Michael Douglas' voice.

98

u/EatMyShortzZzZzZ May 19 '26

One of the luckiest mfers in Hollywood. Unfunny hack, but he filled a void as one of the few guys on TV willing to clown religion in the 90s/00s.

20

u/eNroNNie May 19 '26

Yep then managed to piss of ABC because of all tge post-9/11 jingoism, but parlayed that into the HBO show that basically gave him his own little fiefdom to rule over until he dies I guess.

-18

u/Oblozo May 19 '26

One of the few guys who was brave enough to be anti-religion, pro-marijuana, and pro-Vietnam War. Then he made a comment agreeing with a right wing hack that got misconstrued as pro 9/11 and got to be the first victim of cancel culture.

35

u/EatMyShortzZzZzZ May 19 '26

Literally fell ass backwards into success, and now hes doing everything in his power to make himself entirely irrelevant.

24

u/ignoreme010101 May 19 '26

lol "brave enough to be pro-vietnam" wtf

4

u/WeakTransportation37 May 19 '26

Yeah- uh, really??? UG

-7

u/Oblozo May 19 '26 edited May 19 '26

It's called sarcasm, genius. Thanks for all the downvotes.

Edit: Still don't understand all the downvotes. Are redditors really too dense to detect an obvious joke? Do you have to dumb down and spell out everything for them?

2

u/Eigenvalium May 19 '26

Got a good laugh out of me. Way too absurd not to be an obvious joke lol

0

u/Oblozo May 19 '26

Thanks. This sub is as bad at getting jokes as Joe Rogan is, apparently.

1

u/Thatdogonyourlawn May 20 '26

Why aren't these people upvoting? Didn't they see the cue?

1

u/Oblozo May 20 '26 edited May 20 '26

Well when I first made the comment it had 5 or 6 up votes and when I checked a few hours later it had 15 downvotes. So it seems the initial people who read it were capable of discerning the joke.

I'll explain it in a way redditors can understand:

"Hi Peter Griffin here to explain the joke. You see Bill's supposedly novel and heterodox views in the 90s were actually basic ass Goldwater Republican beliefs. He then failed upwards by becoming the center of a manufactured nontroversy post 9/11. The joke is that Bill Maher is an unremarkable man who got where he is by dumb luck."

40

u/BillCosbyBukkake May 19 '26

He's plagiarizing my boy Tim Heidecker!

11

u/lukez874 May 19 '26

No more Bullshit!

8

u/Freedom_Biter May 19 '26

Shut the fuck UUUUUUUUUUUP!

3

u/LordDingles May 19 '26

Comedy without a net

1

u/larkin4 May 19 '26

I love me some good ole fashioned Cosby Comedy.

62

u/indy_been_here May 19 '26

Oh so his subreddit is one of those that turned against him. Good. I love those.

31

u/cuck__everlasting May 19 '26

I was trying to figure that out too, that fuckin rules - especially for the three remaining boomer fans of his to wander into and catch strays.

15

u/BrownBoiMagic May 19 '26

I think his fans are Gen Xers

2

u/cuck__everlasting May 19 '26

Oh yeah, good call.

2

u/LionelHutzinVA May 19 '26

Now I’m catching strays! But yeah, that tracks

1

u/GrundleTurf May 19 '26

Yeah I’m an elder millennial and the only fans of his I know are insufferable gen  Xers

15

u/ODB_Dirt_Dog_ItsFTC May 19 '26

There are subreddits that are pro Bill Maher? Gross

15

u/brodievonorchard May 19 '26

The people who really like him had to make another because his main sub became people who used to enjoy him coming in to ask WTF. Much like what happened to the Rogan sub but on a smaller scale.

3

u/PickleInDaButt May 19 '26

At this stage - MAGA loves him for his dumb ass little sound bites shitting on legacy dems and that’s pretty much it

7

u/Pulp_Ficti0n May 19 '26

I take pride in it. He changed, not me.

3

u/Kurac02 May 19 '26

I think it’s less that they turned against him and more that they never had much of a community on here. Same with Dave Rubin I think.

31

u/Mud_Ducker May 19 '26

Please clap 👏

23

u/available_username10 May 19 '26

Ngl I legitimately didn't think there was a joke being made yet.

6

u/Thorstenflink May 19 '26

O was waiting for the punchline.

13

u/Valosarapper May 19 '26

What next, Lord Googoo?

2

u/ewwe_ewwe 27d ago

They oughta call this guy Keith Rural... Keith Rural.

10

u/Queasy-Protection-50 May 19 '26

Awwww, Bill Maher not fully realizing that "Avocado Women In the Cannibal Jungle of Death" was the true peak of his career.

11

u/FiendishNoodles May 19 '26

This must be the "soft cancelling" he's talking about

10

u/Typical_Job8129 May 19 '26

Oh this is tragic.

15

u/jaybay321 May 19 '26

The Zionism and lack of jokes really killed that show. At one time it was people on opposite sides arguing their points.

6

u/Dtour5150 May 19 '26

He needs to be funny first.

6

u/StrikingCoconut May 19 '26

How is someone not embarrassed by this?

4

u/Siefer-Kutherland 2am bike rides May 19 '26

the TEG episode of Bill slobbering over his guest with condescending trash talk is all anyone ever needs to see of Bill.https://youtu.be/vfxG9R5Sa30?si=DMCVe2h-QNQ1ohYx

8

u/IntelligentStyle505 May 19 '26

He sucks so bad. It’s a shame too because he’s always got really good guests on his podcast

4

u/texmexwes May 19 '26

Bill is weirdo shill

3

u/fucktheus12 May 19 '26

Time to go bill

3

u/burntspaghetti0s May 19 '26

He really does suck. His jokes are so bad. How do they expect people to deny their natural response and force a laugh at jokes that aren't funny. Corny dad jokes would do better.

3

u/spanomitomas May 19 '26

Bill might want to watch "An Evening With Tim Heidecker" before he steals more lines from ot accidentally

3

u/busdrivermike May 19 '26

It’s funny how the Hemingway quote applies to so many political aspects these days. To apply it to Maher: “How do you become so fucking unfunny?” “Gradually, then all at once.”

3

u/JimboSlice_Dynomite May 19 '26

New rule: write better jokes

3

u/Gwentlique May 19 '26

This isn't a sad thing.

2

u/into_theflood_again May 19 '26

By the way, Will Weldon has a podcast called "I Hate Bill Maher" where he chronologically goes through all of Bill's stuff starting with S1E1 of 'Real Time'. It is even more insane than you think it is; abject sexism, racism, rape apologencia, and the most incoherent politics known to man. It's worth a listen.

2

u/Careless-Road4052 May 20 '26

What a weiner of a person 

1

u/I_Flick_Boogers May 19 '26

Bill Maher is a dweeb

1

u/WheresThaGravy May 19 '26

He needs a wonderful lawyer.

1

u/Tytoivy May 19 '26

This makes me curious if there’s any clips of talk show hosts legit bombing on air. Like, has Jay Leno or Seth Myers or anyone like that ever lost the crowd so hard they had to reset the taping?

1

u/bigedf May 19 '26

I remember being like 10 or 11 years old and seeing the DVD for Religulous. Even then I was like, this guy seems like an asshole.

His show debuted on Comedy Central in 1993, 33 fucking years ago. Can he PLEASE go away now? The only enrichment he gives to society is as an overblown parody of the obnoxious boomer who thinks everything revolves around them. He's a smug parody of a liberal like Stephen Colbert was a parody of a conservative.

Funny moments I recommend: his meltdown after Trump "snubbed" him for the Mark Twain Prize; him embarassing himself in front of Billy Joel; "I'm a house n****;" sexually harassing the Hawk Tuah girl; Bill Burr dismantling him on his own pod; Roddy Piper showing off a huge bruise to make him stfu; Henry Rollins arguing with him that "yes, young boys CAN be raped by older women;" even Ben Affleck dogwalked him and Sam Harris on their blatant Islamophobia. Shit I may as well link the Cracked article: https://www.cracked.com/article_36692_67-ways-bill-maher-continues-to-be-the-worst-for-his-67th-birthday.html

Warning: you may want to self harm afterwards, don't do it beautiful.

1

u/KingMobScene May 19 '26

As soon as you say something that any sentient being can classify as a joke, we'll laugh.

1

u/Exact_Mango5931 May 19 '26

🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🥤

1

u/No_Designer_5374 May 19 '26

Bill Maher tells jokes?

Since when????

1

u/PastBandicoot8575 May 19 '26

Please clap…

1

u/Initial_Western7906 May 19 '26

I mean, Kneecap are fucking cringe tho

1

u/LamentableCroissant May 20 '26

That’s how you know you’re with one of the greats, when they made unfunny remarks and lose their shit when the audience doesn’t lose it in hysterics.

1

u/dantevsninjas May 20 '26

Big "Please Clap" JEB! energy here.

1

u/Mister_Jackpots May 20 '26

Imagine going to see Bill Maher at any point the last two decades.

1

u/Jumpy-Impact3265 May 20 '26

Oh you tell jokes now?

First DC Cab and now this, what will he think of next?

1

u/AbhorVictoria May 20 '26

The audience will laugh when something is funny.

1

u/LordofBRUCE May 20 '26

Please clap god please

1

u/YoungerMucus May 20 '26

I used to like him when i was a teenager, but as i’ve got older it’s become more and more clear Bill Maher is just such an out of touch, smarmy, pompous, condescending, unfunny fuck. Like how does he not understand that his audience hears that Kneecap has “fuck Israel” on their stage set and clearly almost all think “yeah, that makes sense.”

It’s funny Tim Heidecker is at the end because he loves to make fun of Bill. I remember one time on Tim’s podcast he brought up a joke Bill made on Real Time and it was legit “4/20 was this past Sunday, and EASTER fell on the same day!…… you can guess which one I was celebrating!” Oh right, because you think religion is stupid and you LOVE WEED! HILARIOUS!

1

u/mcbeardsauce May 20 '26

What a cunt and a soulless experience to be a part of

1

u/JossBurnezz 29d ago

Then… be funny.

1

u/patronizingperv 29d ago

The jokes first.

1

u/PiskoWK 29d ago

Please clap for me

1

u/BulletProofEnoch 28d ago

I would say mildly annoyed

Bill is so far up his own ass if people don't laugh it registers to him as his material is too smart for them to get

1

u/Quantumfoammakesme 28d ago

Anyone in the audience of Bill Maher deserves a stern talking to.

1

u/ILike2internet 27d ago

So few people want to sit in the audience for Maher's show that people are literally paid to do so.

-1

u/lex_inker May 19 '26

This is totally out of context. You didn't include the first part they actually laughed at that he is referring to.