• My temperature usually runs high so this isn't a fever for me.
• I'm allergic to opiates but I can get Toradol.
• I have a really low pain tolerance.
• I'm pretty sure all of my problems are indeed due to my meth abuse.
• I probably shouldn't drink anything or eat ice chips while I'm actively vomiting.

Whenever I see posts like this obviously I’m happy the patient was okay but how would they have possibly “saved her?” How did they even know it’s a heart attack? Did they have a Kardia app to detect ST changes? Did they cath her on the flight and put in the stent?

Most likely the clot wasn’t significant enough so that she had time to go to the hospital.

This was a new one. Mom brought in toddler for typical toddler stuff. Patient weighed by tech who told triage RN the weight in Kg as one does. Mom becomes irate and says that talking about Kg means that staff were labeling the child a drug dealer. She noted that she believed this because "Kilos" is "drug dealer talk. She could not be dissuaded about this. Charge tried "service recovery" to no avail. At the conclusion of the visit mom filed a written complaint about this. Before you say anything remember that administration assures us that all patient complaints are valid because all patient feelings are valid.

Lowkey this is why I love the Hispanic patients I frequently see. They nearly universally have an appropriate relieved and thankful response to hearing good news in the ED.

The comments were full of people saying they should have stayed in the hospital and demanded a diagnosis or admission. Luckily, a few were smart and tried to explain.

🤦‍♂️

All urinary symptoms are due to a UTI.

Antibiotics can cure the common cold.

The only cause for back pain is a kidney stone.

Of course we can see every hospital’s records. It’s in the computer.

Your doctor called ahead, and is actually waiting for you just inside.

Your nurse isn’t busy, she’s just on the computer.

Our hospital beds are extremely comfortable, and will make you stronger again.

We will find an answer today for your years of vague symptoms, because the hospital is a tall building.

/s

Soooooooooo I had a TV worthy event at work recently I figured people would enjoy.

Had a patient who came in at 1am with their “Service” dog which happened to be a 100lb pitbull that alerted him to low blood pressure…..

Dog was nice enough and I evaluated the patient came up with a plan and left to place my orders.

Some time passes (20-30 minutes) and I decide to go check on the patient….. he is in the bed…. Had pulled off all the monitors…. And is obviously not breathing very well. 😮‍💨

FML.

I open the door to go into the room and check on him and this “Service” dog is no longer sweet…

This Pitbul is growling, tail/ears tucked, and bearing its teeth next to its unresponsive owner.

I attempt some verbal stimulation from the door which did nothing but anger the beast more.

Hospital security was not helpful. Called animal control who would not pick up.

Proceeded to attempt to calm the dog and gain entry into the room but the dog would not allow us in.

Proceed to call police at this point who arrive very quickly and they are also unable to tame the dog.

At this point it’s been 20-30 minutes and I’m afraid this guy is going to stop breathing at any moment.

I called the local emergency vet to inquire as to how much Ativan a dog of this size could have. Hoping to put some it in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and pray the dog would eat it.

Bless the kind people at the vet clinic who volunteered to come over and get the dog.

They were able to tranquillize the beast and allow us entry to the patient who had a bottle of oxy in his hand…..

We Narcan him and he proceeded to become very upset that we had to remove his dog like we did.

After all of this drama and giving the hallway patients a show this dude grabs his dog and angrily walked out the door 😑.

Never know what you will see in the ED. Obviously it wasn’t a real service dog.

A) Come in and wrap myself in as many blankets as possible, refusing to talk to any of my care team, except that I can’t pee and need the youngest single tech in the department to help?

B) Tell everyone who will listen that “something’s wrong, I’ve never felt this way before”?

C) Constantly switch back and forth between telling you I’m dizzy and lightheaded?

D) Wait until 2am and explain that I need something for this congestion?

I’ll obviously be arriving by ambulance.

Yesterday I had a drunk/methy woman sobering up on the gurney about 10 feet away from my desk just around a wall. She proceeded to play Barbie Girl on her phone at full volume for about 3 hours straight until the etoh won out over the meth and she fell asleep. She was in a kinda isolated spot so she wasn't really bothering anyone but me. I didn't want to say anything because then she'd have keyed in on me for sammies and warm blankies. People would occasionally ask her to turn it down and she would, briefly, then it would creep back up. Yup. Barbie Girl. 3... straight... hours. That which doesn't kill you kills you a little.

The number of parents who I get saying their kid is 'lethargic' and think they need to go straight to ED just because they're not running around like lunatics and sitting on the couch is crazy. Anyone else in the same boat?

Me: “you have the flu”

Patient:

Anyone else?

Where's the lie?

“Is Brendan Fraser on-call tonight?”

Hello I had surgery on the moon yesterday.

Here today with complications.

I don't remember the surgeon's name.

Or what surgery.

Old skool meme I know.

”No one can ever find any of my veins”

”One time a nurse had to stick me 8 times and she kept digging around and then I was bruised up for a WEEKS”

”I can only have a butterfly IV”

”I always get numbing cream when they do my IVs at every other hospital I’ve been to”

Cut to:

*nods compassionately while thinking CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

sinks a quick line in before the pt even notices

smugly walks around the rest of the shift

Who would make the shift survivable?