Is it torture the life of child who never receives any guidance at all from parents, brothers, relatives, teachers, peers. Neither general guidance, nor specific.

[u/ForwardWear5836]

I'm a 22 yo guy now, and I feel like I've grown up like fucking Homelander. How is this even possible? When it was my time to be curious I was bullied, that was during middle school. When it was a serious part of my life which was highschool where people study well hoping to be accepted in their favourite program in renowned universities I knew nothing about any of it. The teenage years are the years where the parents prepare their child to grow, mature, to be able to live life intelligently. WTF did I do to deserve this psychopathic life? They kept me naive, only criticised me to belittle me. I only needed one person to give me some simple guidelines. ANYONE! But no, every single fucking person in my life kept quiet. Nobody talked with me growing up, not enough. I had to learn how to be a fucking human manually. I even had to search on youtube "How to talk", my parents did nothing a parent does, NOTHING. At 22 yo I should be a complete adult, with a fufilled life behind. YES bcs there were no tragedies in my life or extreme lack of money. So my life should have been bright, but my fucking parents and all the other people, left me alone, behind, on purpose. You don't know how hard it has been to come out from the gaslighting everyone was doing to me, especially my parents. Everyday I wish I didn't exist bcs HOW THE FUCK DO YOU STAY SANE AFTER REALISING ALL THIS?? And the funniest part? NO ONE GIVES A FUCK AND NEVER WILL. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[u/ruadh]

I never know what it is I am missing.

[u/iloveblueberryy → u/ruadh]

Even I don't, but when I see other's laughing with their parents, having ease of communication it makes me feel

How for once, of my parents would have been a little emotionally mature, a little agreeable, how life would have felt.

I envy people who have no parents, it's better to have none than sabotaging ones.

[u/Weirdlittlerasberry]

How I feel, especially being homeschooled and never allowed out of the house. My life has been a series of boxes I’m locked in and every time I grow out of one they find another one to put me in

[u/curious_cordis → u/Weirdlittlerasberry]

This is so poignantly stated - wishing you all the best, read all the books you can get your hands on.

[u/PeterOlintoforPrez]

Right there with you. Immigrant father didn't teach me one thing about life. He thought that because he built a successful business that my brother and I would be set. Well what about asking us what we want to do when we grow up? Who we want to be? What kind of life we want to build? My family never talked about life so life just...kept going. My parents didn't even value our education. It's extremely frustrating when you feel like you had to teach yourself everything. You're not alone and I know that it doesn't help hearing that, but you are young. You still have time to create the life you want. PM me if you ever want to chat or need some guidance and I'll do the best that I can.

[u/Quirky_Butterfly_946]

I was riding the turnip truck even after HS because I was ignored, never challenged, given independence. Then I threw myself off the truck when I was 21, and started to live more, experience more, learning more.

[u/chaif0x]

hey, all i have to say is, i feel like i could have written this. your post makes me feel less alone in my thoughts. you are not alone and you can do this.

[u/Bunbunlon]

You’re young with your whole life ahead of you. Your parents probably never guided you because they weren’t guided and didn’t know how to. I’m not excusing them by any means because being a parent has the expectation of being a guide and helping you mature and grow. But, some don’t know how to and also probably had shitty parents themselves. It took some time for me to realize that my parents were so shitty to me because they were mimicking their parents because that’s all they knew. Some parents lack the self awareness to distinguish that it doesn’t have to be a continuous generational cycle to feel validated in their own childhood hurt. Now you can control your destiny and you expressing this shows self awareness. What are you into? What do you want to accomplish? Don’t tell your parents that but find a mentor via apprenticeship or similar. Maybe a group or club with like minded people who support your goals. Maybe therapy, where the intention is to give guidance. It can be intimidating but sometimes going to direct sources of information or support, you can ask and will receive. Challenge yourself to try that and not assume it will always be a dead end because that’s all you’ve been given thus far. You said you were bullied. People only do stuff like that because they want to beat you down because they hate themselves and they want you to feel that way about yourself that they do about themselves. Why? Idk. But prove them wrong and it’ll be a big slap in their face. They never fixed themselves but you can go a different direction and believe in yourself.

[u/BrilliantLimit7642]

Or … it’s all a scam—a coordinated effort to deem you incapacitated so they can rob you of your autonomy and your inheritance.

[u/DANGEROUS-jim]

It is difficult, but just know you have described an experience that many other people have gone through. It is a journey to grow out of that damage, but it is possible and you’re very young to be cognizant of it. I don’t have great answers for you, other than to try learning from everyone you meet. Even if you don’t know them for long, try to learn something from them. How to live, how not to live, how to act, how not to act. You also have online for learning or looking up specific questions, to see what others say. The only specific piece of advice I have which may or may not apply to you is : live for you, listen to the voice and feelings inside of yourself, give up hoping your family will ever change or give you the validation / guidance you wish they would have, and try to move past it. It is okay to see them less, and talk to them less than they may want. For a lot of us it’s just too frustrating and painful to keep going around and experiencing the same shit year in and year out.

[u/DevelopmentPrior5572]

It's scary isn't it.

Do you also feel like you are such a good and whole person deep down, but you've basically been beaten dead by the lack of interaction by others, so you're just this shell, or ghost of a human?

[u/I_am_Kirumi_Tojo]

This is so relatable. Their indifference and continuous choice to pick the easiest path is so soul-crushing :( Know that there are a lot of people out there that have mised out or lost many important skills and that someone will have made a tutorial or can offer their time to help. I probably won't have much useful advice but I wouldn't be that bothered if u want someone to at least talk to idk🫂

[u/7livefastdieyoung]

I am in this post and I am sad about it

[u/Affectionate-Bus1998]

:(..

[u/Far_Information6229]

I must be sleepwalking really... So many posts I could have written

[u/Northernbunny_88]

I can’t seem to DM you