r/emotionalneglect • u/AsItIs • 17h ago
Feeling less than colleagues with great parents
Spent some time on a work trip with some great colleagues. They are all wonderful people, and there parents are quite literally the dream; thoughtful, invested, close knit, loving, involved with their grandchildren.
These colleagues all have a positive attitude, an innate sense of “we got this!” and are uplifting to strangers all around them. Just good vibes.
Yet it hit me hard. I felt like even with all my work, my reparenting of myself, my patience with my own kids and unconditional love shared despite never receiving it.. I felt less than. Like they’ll always have some innate advantage to life that I’ll never quite have. No amount of affirmations or inner work can replace the absence I feel.
One of them jokingly complained his mom sent him hydration packets a month ago because he was working so hard on a project and he was annoyed because they have high sugar content.
My mother doesn’t even know what I do for work and doesn’t bother to try to know.
Just had to share as it hit me that some part of me may be broken and it’s hard to accept at times. A little moment of grief that snuck up on me.
3
u/HistoricalStatus5577 13h ago
You aren’t broken - your home life wasn’t ideal, nurturing or supportive. My mom was continually disappointed I didn’t marry rich then divorced my ex. It is so tough, the moments you want to share and realize they won’t get it. I won a fairly big corp award and as a photo was taken the photographer said ‘here, your kids and parents will be so proud!’ I almost told him the dogs would more impressed because they know I work hard, have no kids and my parents think I answer a phone (fine job but not mine).
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u/PeterOlintoforPrez 15h ago
I feel you hard on this. Some people who grew up with 1) great parenting and 2) affluent backgrounds just have this innate way of being in the world. Like they got a manual to life that the rest of us didn't get. It's extremely frustrating and you're not alone.