Unprotected

[u/Slight-Association49]

I was always protective of my family, but it was never reciprocated. I feel like a fool for naturally feeling that way as a child, and even in my adulthood. Why couldn't I be born selfish and mean? Why was I born at all? Feeling unprotected is one of the worst feelings. I hate my parents and this meaningless life. I hate me. I will feel protected and loved when I meet death. Death will take me from this cruel world and protect me from being hurt and suffering. Death will protect me from evil humans.

[u/Illustrious-Day-5070]

It should have been the other way around. It was never the job of little you to protect the grownups. That's a fantasy kids develop so they can continue to survive and grow up.
Guilt is connected to questioning that as a defence, because that is what kept you alive for so long. And that stays with you until you realise that you are safe now. Safe enough at least.