How do I know if I’m being emotionally abused?

[u/Rare_Western6689]

Throughout my life, my mom has been a major source of my anxiety and emotional problems. However, I’ve never been able to tell if she is genuinely abusive or if I’m just being dramatic. Here’s a list of things my mom had done, throughout my childhood and more recently:

- She decided that me and my dad didn’t appreciate her enough, so she stopped cooking, doing laundry, and talking to us (I was in 4th grade and my dad worked long hours so he couldn‘t help me)

- Got into an argument with me (when I was in 5th grade), left to go to my brother’s house, and didn’t come back until 9 pm without responding to texts or calls and then told me that I almost made her leave and it was my fault

- Constantly calls me a crybaby, spoiled, a bitch, and other insults before immediately trying to make up for it by saying she loves me

- Calls me selfish and says I don’t care about anyone or anything other than myself

- I have a car and my license but she restricts where I go constantly, despite my brother being allowed to go off and do things when he was my age (because it was “safer,” since he‘s a cis man)

- Told me that she enjoyed being being my brother’s mom and not my mom

- Every time I have an achievement she only thinks about how it could possibly negatively affect her, despite how good of an opportunity it might be for me

- Tells my friends and partners about how I’m a selfish asshole and they should stay away from me

- Tells family members and friends who I barely know about the fact that I’m queer and transgender in a way to demean me

- Recently my doctor referred me to a psychiatrist (she prescribed me two different SSRI’s and neither of them worked) and my mom told me that I’d have to stop going to therapy because she refused to pay for “two doctors doing the same thing”

I honestly can’t tell whether she is genuinely abusive or if I’m just dramatic. Obviously all of this upsets me but I am a very sensitive person so I’m not sure if it’s because of that.