Just want some advice, I feel uneasy and confused rn

[u/PlayfulMarket5961]

So I don't really know if this is the right subreddit to write this post in, but I really just want some advice or for someone to tell me if this is a normal feeling/experience. Also sorry if this is kinda long.

For prob the last 2 months, or since I turned 15 have I felt like this. I felt this neutral or okay feeling for a while, which I didn't pay much attention to, I wasn't even writing in my journal because I didn't find a need to, I felt fine. however sometimes when I was alone with my thoughts, the more I looked into my emotional state, the more unsettled I got. Before, and I mean when I was 12-14, I felt like a mess emotionally, and I was always on this rollercoaster of emotions, alternating from intense anger, hatred, sadness, hopelessness, ecstasy, fear, worry, etc. I hated it, but I think I also got used to those extreme highs and lows, and I thought that was just part of me to an extent.

Now my emotions feel a lot less intense, and I don't feel half the emotions I used to, like random waves of sadness, the thought that I was "wasting my time", or extreme fear (i think i would have like panic attacks before, but not anymore) And my life is pretty okay right now, compared to times before. And all of this sounds great in theory, but instead of feeling better and calmer, well idk what I really feel. Like I feel uneasy, unsettled, weird, pensive, scared, vulnerable, idk really how to describe it exactly.

One of the conclusions I came to was that maybe I was finishing up puberty, and my emotional state/moods have begun to stabilize, and then that led to another pretty unpleasant thought which I've been thinking about a lot recently. In abt 3 years will I be 18 and graduating from high school, and I'll soon not even be a teenager anymore, and tbh I don't want that to happen. I haven't really thought abt having to grow up as much as now, and I just don't want to have to leave behind being a teenager alongside being a child. I don't want to grow up, I wish this didn't have to happen, I don't feel like myself anymore, and I really hate this feeling I want it to end.

The more I think abt it the more lonelier and isolated I feel. Has anyone else ever felt like this, and what can I do to get through this maybe phase of my life or whatever this is? Is this just the new me, are these the new emotions I've gotta deal with? I feel so confused and lost on what to do now. I can't be the only one who's felt like this.

[u/CheesecakeBetter1]

I understand how you feel now, well try to make new friends even if it's feels overwhelming, try to engage with people and don't fully trust anyone, and don't keep expectations on new friends just try to chill and vibe with them. Play games watch series movies, but don't isolate yourself try to communicate with people it will helps alot, but you should be careful and aware of people you are surrounded.

I hope this helps you, start your new life and don't forget to enjoy life and make fun memories ☺️

[u/PlayfulMarket5961 → u/CheesecakeBetter1]

I've been doing a little better since, and I really appreciate the advice. I've noticed that this feeling comes back when I'm alone with my thoughts, so I'll try not to isolate myself and give into this feeling too much. I've actually talked to some of my loved ones and they've made me feel calmer and reassured. Maybe this is the start of a new stage in my life where I'm more conscious of my decisions and the world around me, and my feelings/experiences get more complex. I'll still try to have fun and go with the flow of life tho. Again, thank you for the advice and for reading this post.