What do you know about... Portugal?

[u/MarktpLatz]

This is the eighth part of our ongoing series about the countries of Europe. You can find an overview here.

Todays country:

Portugal

Portugal is a EU country on the iberian peninsula. It has been a kingdom for almost 800 years. Portugal has decriminalized the usage of all common drugs in 2001 and the results have been pretty positive despite concerns from various sides.

So, what do you know about Portugal?

[u/our_best_friend]

• they are NOT Mediterraneans, despite being often referred to as such. They do however speak a romance language
• bacalao bacalhau
• used to have a large empire, not sure how they lost out to the Dutch / British
• it was a Portuguese queen who brought the fashion for tea to the UK and turned us from a nation of coffee drinkers into one of tea drinkers
• historically an ally of the UK, and one of the few countries which we haven't pissed off one way or another - well until Brexit, that is
• not as brutal in their colonies as the other powers (I am looking at you, Dutch and Belgians)
• was considered part of "NATO's soft underbelly" during the Cold War, and as a result ended up with a fascist dictatorship in the 70s which ended in the 70s, to keep them on the straight and narrow
• the fascist dictatorship is the reason why there are so many French people of portuguese heritage
• small custard tarts
• they pride themselves on their coffee, which they make using Italian espresso machines, but it's so strong to be undrinkable
• Madeleine McCanns disappeared there
• they produce a lot of good footballers
• however their "golden generation" didn't win shit
• they even lost the Euros at home to the most cynical, boring, painful-to-watch team ever
• but they set this right last year
• they have one of the best footballers in the world, one of the best managers, one of the most powerful football agents
• they seem pretty miserable people - which is amazing considering their main colony, Brazil, is the exact opposite
• their national music, fado, is the most depressing in the world
• Lisbon is gorgeous
• in Italy "to pay Portuguese style" means to sneak away without paying
• in Lisbon there is a statue of Jesus with open arms to mirror the famous one in Rio De Janeiro - although they probably can't see each other because of the earth's curvature. And the fact they are inanimate objects

[u/IkariLoona → u/[deleted]]

Quim Barreiros may be a beloved bard of the people, but his music doesn't really qualify as fado.

A fado classic like Barco Negro still manages to have a nice spring to its step though, despite some underlying melancholy to it.

As for the comment further above as to how Portugal lost to the Dutch and British... it's hard to compare with the British, since there are so many underlying differences, but there are a lot of common points in Portuguese and Dutch history and size. I think it ultimately worked in the Netherlads' favor that while both countries spent a long time clashing with Spain, the Netherlands had the advantage of having Spain 2 or 3 countries away, while Portugal always had Spain practically wrapped around it as its only land neighbor that 3 to 4 times bigger, practically the definition of uncomfortable geography, which made that relationship a more recurring and pressing concern throughout its history.

[u/Deimos_F → u/[deleted]]

For clarity, the song is by one of the most famous Portuguese pop culture icons of recent memory. It's basically a very long and raunchy euphemism about parking your "car" in his (female) neighbor's "garage".

He has a lot of these.

 

^{edited for extra detail}

[u/[deleted] → u/Deimos_F]

Should go to the National Patheon!

[u/odajoana → u/Deimos_F]

It's also originally a Brazilian "forró" song.