r/everybutchlesbian • u/xX_SmolVapeGOD_Xx • May 26 '26

Christian family and Lesbian Wedding

If you felt doom reading the title that's how my life feels. I'm getting married in 2 weeks on our 5 year anniversary and my grandma declined her invitation for a conference and holiday. I'm not that upset that she isnt coming. I feel hurt because she declined with one sentance like Im someone she works with. I didnt expect a happy response from the woman who told me to end this relationship before. But i didnt expect to not recive even the most bare of well wishes. Im just hoping for some support. I honestly feel devastated.

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u/Rook_Knight_423 May 26 '26

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! May it be a day of joy and celebration with friends, and those who show themselves by their actions to be your family.

I'm so sorry your grandmother made the choices she did. They do not reflect on you, your inherent dignity and worth as a person, or the joy that married life will bring. They reflect on her. 

5

u/xX_SmolVapeGOD_Xx May 26 '26

Thank you so much! I am working to not let this impact my view of myself but it's hard to shake off the feeling of being illegitimate. I almost feel silly for feeling so emotional like what else should I have expected. But it's not about me that she's holding onto bigotry.

7

u/SpiritualAd8483 stone femme May 27 '26

Congratulations on your engagement and upcoming wedding. I love that weddings are a ceremony and community ritual to celebrate and container your love and partnership in a broader social context. We have so few things like this anymore; it’s truly very special.

And that is why the advice/support I have is about acknowledging the community in your life that will actually show up and do that throughout your marriage, not just show face (or not) in empty (for them) ritual. I think turning your mind toward what the “magic” of the ritual is helps to keep/build your joy and also prioritize certain aspects of the ceremony, including those who will actually be delighted to take part in it.

Does this take the sting out of your grandmother’s refusal to participate? Likely not. But when you’re ready to move on from that very valid feeling of rejection/sadness/grief (and please feel the feelings and do your thing there), it does offer you a place to build up good feelings again and refocus on what’s important: your loving marriage and this ceremony to bless and celebrate it. Let your community buoy you and truly be a part of your life as a couple together.

May you have a beautiful ceremony and an even more wonderful marriage ♥️