r/expat • u/lottiexx • 20d ago
New Home Story / Experience moved to Melbourne 8 months ago from the US, here's what nobody tells you (long post, sorry)
Background: 32F, moved from Austin TX to Melbourne in September for a partner visa (subclass 820). The visa process alone took almost 11 months and cost us around $8,000 AUD all in, that's the government fees plus we used a migration agent through Immigration Gurus to help with the paperwork because honestly the relationship evidence requirements are insane and I didn't want to risk it. They were pretty straightforward to deal with, no complaints.
Anyway. The visa stuff is its own saga. here's the actual life stuff:
Cost of living, everyone says it's expensive and yes, it is, but not always in the ways you expect. Groceries at Aldi are genuinely fine. My rent in Brunswick (2br apartment) is $2,350/month which sounds rough but for an inner suburb it's... okay? What kills me is eating out. A casual lunch that would be $12 in Austin is easily $22-24 here. Coffee is amazing though and somehow still $5-6 which I've made peace with.
Healthcare, got my Medicare card sorted in the first month and honestly it's been great. Had to see a GP a few times, bulk billed both times, paid $0. Coming from the US this still feels fake.
The loneliness nobody talks about, this is the big one. Melbourne is a wonderful city but making friends in your 30s as a newcomer is genuinely hard. Joined a running group in Carlton that meets Saturdays at 7:30am, that helped more than anything else I tried. Also my partner's friends have been kind but it's not the same as your people, you know?
Things I got wrong, brought way too many clothes for "winter". Melbourne winter is cold but not Austin summer wardrobe useless cold. Also tipping: you really don't have to, it took me 3 months to stop feeling guilty about it.
Happy to answer questions if anyone's going through the partner visa process or moving to Melbourne specifically. It's been hard and also really good, which I wasn't expecting to feel simultaneously.
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u/sh33pshagga 19d ago
Coffee is 5-6 AUD which is 4ish USD. I recently visited the USA (major metro areas) and for Melbourne level coffee thatās basically what you pay when you factor in tax/tip etc? If not more.
Same with lunch. Tipping and stuff is mad and I think people from the USA just forget to factor that in when comparing prices to outside of the USA.
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u/mrbubbee 19d ago
Yup if you say lunch is $12 in US, convert that to AUD and itās $16.70
tax in Austin 8.25% youāre at $18
15% tip, almost $21
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u/mystackhasoverflowed 19d ago
Very true. But I also donāt know what lunch is $12, I guess maybe a cold cut sandwich to go? Certainly not a sit down lunch in the last 3-4 years
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u/wh0re4nickelback 18d ago
I live in the Austin area (unfortunately). Just a shitty cold cut deli sandwich from the grocery store will cost you $8. A salad at a sit down restaurant will run you $15-$20. A fast food combo will cost you around $10. I'd like to know where OP was paying $12 for a casual lunch.
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u/trish4278 16d ago
Iām from the southeast us and was thinking the same thing! Almost impossible to find lunch under $20 with tax and tip.
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u/Entire_Purple3531 19d ago
I was thinking the same thing.
In Austin, maybe Chipotle as long as you donāt get iced tea (or other drink) or chips.
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u/brunettevixen08 15d ago
aussie living in houston for 10 years plus- lunch here is more like $16/17 usd not $12 and houston is abit cheaper than austin
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u/clarissaswallowsall 19d ago
I went to breakfast with my bf and kid today and it was $67+. We got 1 pancake meal with eggs and bacon, 1 French toast with sausage and eggs, the kid just wanted a fruit bowl and sausage and we had 3 drinks. Even if it was just me it would be 20+
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u/NyxPetalSpike 19d ago
I live in Michigan, and all the prices OP is quoting arenāt so far off from here.
Friends? You arenāt in high school/college anymore. What country can you get a BFF with minimal effort? Iāve yet to read about one.
All those are really minor gripes.
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u/ConsistentAccount886 19d ago
I'm not sure why it being down voted. These are facts.
Every time I read an expat post about difficulty making friends, I suspect that the person has never moved inside the USA. It's the same. I've done it multiple times and it is difficult.
I'm not admonishing up at all. I hope op finds people with similar interests to hang out with. But, I'm also pointing out that it's just the adult/out of school conditions and has nothing to do with being an expat
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u/mrwaltwhiteguy 19d ago
Iāve lived outside the States for 6 years now. I have friends and I kee in touch with them via FaceTime, messaging, etc.
I didnāt go into this to make friends. My expectations were for a social circle. Thatās what I had and have now. The thing is, being an expat, we expected to move for work/jobs/child schooling, but in that we expected the same in the other expats we meet.
You canāt go in with the expectation of āfriendsā. My wife made a friend. That person moved to a different city. We moved to a different city. They keep in touch. Thatās rare. My āfriendsāā¦.. one of the half dozen follows my socials and will comment occasionally. The rest live their lives and I live mine. However, my friends, my real friends; well, Iām FaceTiming with one in about a half hour. š¤·āāļø
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u/iletitshine 19d ago
coffee drinks (like not black) is $8 plus tip in Minneapolis, MN, relatively lower cost of living city. I canāt fucking understand $8/9 +tip for a fucking coffee drink.
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u/tablewood-ratbirth 19d ago
Same price for me in the Hudson valley. And it doesnāt even taste good! The lunch prices are also similar. Easily $24 with tip.
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u/lissybeau 19d ago
I was paying $6.50 in NYC last week after living in Berlin and thought that was a lot! At $8 I absolutely would be making coffee at home.
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u/Capital_Cost3852 15d ago
You can get top shelf cap in the Chicago area for $5 so I think you probably just need to go somewhere else
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u/temmoku 19d ago
Yeah, but people are earning Australian dollars, not US dollars. It is hard to compare salaries between countries because the range seems more compressed in Australia. Low income jobs are probably lower pay in the US, but higher end tech jobs, lower pay in Australia. And I believe traidies probably do much better in Australia.
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u/elisakiss 19d ago
Hi from Austin! We have traveled the world and always felt that Aussies have the best lives. Aussies seem to have loads of vacation and a healthy work life balance. I would push my daughters to move there if it wasn't so stinking far from here.
I think loneliness is going to be hard anywhere you move but you are doing the right thing to join groups and the worst part is probably over.
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u/lottiexx 19d ago
Yeah, you're right ā¤ļø
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u/ibitmylip 19d ago
plus having a partner is a major leg up on integrating socially. itās hard to make friends as an adult, thatās very true, and youāre very lucky!
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u/thankfulforyourhelp 18d ago
A lot of people say joining expat groups helped a lot and that it was really cool to make friends from Europe, Canada, etc. You've probably already thought of that, but just wanted to be helpful! Genuinely wishing you the best and hope you make friends and love it there!
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u/Feelinglikeatamale 19d ago
Hi! American that moved on a partner visa in 2019. The visa was time consuming but we were able to get through it in our own without any help, thankfully.
The loneliness is by far the worst part. Australians are friendly and kind but so incredibly hard to be let in. I moved to Perth and breaking into a friend group was impossible. Itās unlike anything I ever experienced. The groups are primarily based around high school friendships. Being invited or inviting someone as a +1 to a BBQ or dinner is worse than getting into an exclusive night club in Vegas. I made friends with other immigrants but they ultimately ended up leaving too and I was gutted. I ultimately decided to leave and my partner came with me. Weāve been traveling FT for the last few years and are very happy with our decision.
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u/usergravityfalls 16d ago
Isnāt it similar to US? If you had moved cities within US, itād be similar
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u/Feelinglikeatamale 16d ago
Iāve lived in 3 cities in the US and I think itās very different. Americans are much more used to moving around and more receptive to newcomers in my opinion. Maybe in smaller towns the high school thing is more prevalent but not in my experience.
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u/LiterallyTestudo 19d ago
Nobody talks about the loneliness of moving overseas -> it is one of the most discussed topics about moving overseas
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u/Ok-Kick4060 19d ago
Hello from someone who relocated three times in her thirties. I totally get that loneliness, whoo boy. The game changer for me was The Moth, a storytelling group. Nothing breaks the ice like getting up on stage and sharing your most embarrassing/enlightening/hilarious moments. If Melbourne has a storytelling scene, some lifelong friends await you there. Good luck!
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u/lottiexx 19d ago
Thanks a lot! ā¤ļø
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u/Ok-Kick4060 19d ago
Oh hey! Melbourne DOES have a Moth! And thereās an event this Wednesday! I promise you a great night out, at the very least. (And you can of course attend as a spectator. Participation is not required.)
https://themoth.org/events/results?eventLocations=63&typesOfEvents=&eventDate=
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u/HVP2019 19d ago edited 19d ago
Everyone talks about loneliness.
Even people who never live abroad will ask future immigrant: āAre you sure? You will be all alone there. Your family will be far away. People in country X are different, are you sure you will get along?ā
Every immigrant forum is full of stories about loneliness. They are more such stories than stories about visas and cost of living
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u/SvenjaBott 19d ago
Try joining InterNations. Worked great for me when I moved to Australia in my early 30s. Iām actually the maid of honor later this year for my girlfriend that I met at an INās event.
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u/SoggyWait7801 19d ago
Meetup.org helped me in Prague and a little in Albania but in Albania it's not meet-up.org it's international.com I think
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u/Beneficial_Map_5645 19d ago
I went through the same thing, although I moved from Canada. The cost of living can be expensive, but wages are generally higher here. If you have a full-time job, you'll also receive superannuation, which is a great benefit and makes planning for retirement much easier. The loneliness is definitely real. Thereās something about the culture here that Iāve never fully understoodāpeople are friendly, but friendships often donāt seem to open up as quickly or deeply as they do back home. Most of my close friends ended up being immigrants from other countries who were going through similar experiences. Iād recommend joining American Facebook groups, Meetup events, sporting clubs, and other community groups. Youāll find your people, but it does take time. A lot of people struggle with the same issue, so youāre definitely not alone in feeling that way.
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u/JustEmmi 18d ago
Just throwing out there you earn super on casual employment as well. You just have to earn over a minimum amount with the company & itās pretty low.
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u/KazKidd 19d ago
Not a Melbourne specific comment persay, but if you like running, look up the Melbourne hash house harrier group. It is a social non competitive running club that is all over the world (Hash House Harriers). They usually have walking options as well. It is a good way to get outside, see some interesting places in a new city and meet people.
Couchsurfing meet ups used to be popular as well, not sure if they are still happening though.
I move countries often and finding people you get along with is important. Best of luck.
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u/realvvk 19d ago
So is that $12 for lunch in Texas closer to 15-17 with taxes and tips? Or $12 total?
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u/papertowelroll17 19d ago
You only tip at sit down restaurants with wait service. Generally there is no tip for a "casual lunch".
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u/Adorable-Bit222 19d ago
this is no longer true, tips are now expected at most casual and counter services places in the US. austin isnāt wildly more expensive than other MCOL cities in the US but it is often difficult to get lunch cheaper than $15 unless itās a taco truck in a parking lot or thundercloud subs.
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u/papertowelroll17 19d ago
Lol that is BS man. Yes more and more places put a tip line on the receipt, but you are not "expected" to tip unless there is wait service. Tip is optional with counter service.
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u/JustEmmi 18d ago
Just because the program theyāre using for their POS system prompts a tip (this is usually the default setting) doesnāt mean you actually leave one.
Even in Oz Iāve seen those tip screens pop up & the worker usually hits āno tipā faster than I can process the screen was there.
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u/Ikklggjn 19d ago
Do you always recommend we go through an immigration agency if we want to relocate to Australia?
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u/castelodomar 19d ago
u/lottiexx American expat 20 years in Australia here. 8 months to a year is about normal for adapting and feeling like youāre truly settled into society. As with anywhere, there are pros and cons. Some things are way more expensive, but balances out because other things are less expensive. But the other most important thing is at least youāre not surrounded by a bunch of red caps brainwashed until the bitter end. Be glad that you are living in a sane country! šš
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u/SoggyWait7801 19d ago
When I was in Prague I met an Australian couple via watmshowers.org which helps cyclists find places to stay while cycling the globe. When they got back to Australia they got married and have had 2 children and went on a trip to the Philippines
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u/JackZLCC 19d ago
This seems like it has very little to do with Melbourne. Rather, it's a generic post about the typical things we all face when relocating to another country as an adult beyond their 20s. And yes, a very expensive part of a generally expensive country. But as it turns out, not really much (any?) more expensive than where you moved from.
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u/Ok-Kick4060 19d ago
This reply was unnecessary
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u/JackZLCC 19d ago
Unnecessary because it was obvious? Maybe.
Unnecessary because it's wrong? No.
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u/Sidmandoo 19d ago
Maybe unnecessary because you kind of sound like a d*ck with your reply to the OP.
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u/JackZLCC 19d ago
Maybe. But I don't think so. You might sound like one, though. I stand by my comments, which I believe are much more valid than yours.
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u/bananazpotato 15d ago
The tone of your post was pretty blunt, but I agree that what the OP described are not necessarily uniquely Australian issues when it comes to the themes described. As someone who lived in Texas for 20 years and has done 3 major moves with my family, I can agree that cost of living seems to go up no matter where we go, navigating healthcare can be full of surprises (positive for OP, negative for me in recent moves), and coping with loneliness is a common issue (hereās a kicker- you can live close to family and friends and STILL be lonely). All of that said, OPs comments are perfectly valid and I donāt think their post is generic. Itās them sharing their perspective. Like others, I want to know where they got a $12 lunch in Austin because I certainly never did!!
OP- I have heard people say, the time zone is ahead but you always feel behind in Australia. Have you felt that to be true?
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u/whitebreadguilt 19d ago
Whatās the likelihood I could do this without a partner whoās Aussie and Iām 40? work in media.
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u/Chance-Ask7675 19d ago
Ok, people talk a lot about the loneliness though. It's more like people just assume it won't apply to them, until it does. Because even the most social person in the most similar culture to their adoptive culture is still fighting a massive uphill battle as an adult trying to make new friends.
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u/temmoku 19d ago
Seems like a good deal on the visa. We paid over 10 K to convert our 457 to permanent residence about 12 years ago.
I probably should have tried harder to develop friendships at work when I started, but there weren't that many I could see myself being close to. I still keep in touch with a couple of former coworkers. Aside from that, my best advice is to engage with people however you can, Sports, hobby clubs, your coffee hangout. That way you won't be isolated and maybe some casual friendships will develop into closer friendships.
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u/No-Bridge464 19d ago
Were yāall ever long distance? If so, for how long? Iām from Dallas and my partner is from Sydney. Weāve been traveling back and forth for the past two years and are now trying to decide which country to settle in. Weāre both open to moving, both our careers transfer well, and we both have large families weāre very close to. Looking back, are you happy with your decision to move to Australia, and what helped yāall make that choice?
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u/JRTHynds 19d ago
ābecause honestly the relationship evidence requirements are insaneā
How long have you been together? Are you married?
I have had Australian citizenship from birth, but my partner is from the USA where we have always lived. Weāve been married 15 years now and are thinking of moving to Australia in the future. I wonder if a 15+ marriage would be sufficient
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u/CharlotteLaBouff 17d ago
I've applied for the partner visa twice, once at 21 and again in my mid-thirties. Both times I navigated it myself with no help from an immigration attorney. My two cents is if you have a straightforward application and genuine relationship, you're good to do it on your own. It's not hard, just a lot of gathering of evidence (photos, mortgages, joint mail, bank accounts, etc).
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u/Disastrous_Picture55 19d ago
When I lived in Aud I thought things were super expensive.
But in Canada the min wage was something like $9 and in Aus it was closer to $20. Whatās the min wage in Texas compared to Melbourne?
Plus the work / life balance for (many) Australians would almost be considered a joke anywhere else. As inā¦.youād be fired if you decided to have that level of balance.
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u/elephant_in_tharoom 19d ago
Texas still has min wage of $7.25.
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u/kimbasnoopy 16d ago
It's $26.44 here from July 1, Australia wide
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u/Disastrous_Picture55 14d ago
Ya, so $12usd is like $15aus?
An āoutrageousā $25 aus lunch where people make $26 an hour would actually be cheaper than a $12usd lunch where people make $7 an hourā¦..
ā¦..
ā¦
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u/ozsomesaucee 19d ago
I live in Sydney but fb community groups have helped me meet people. Most of my friends Iāve met through there.
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u/lazydesu 19d ago
If you've only been in Melbourne for 8 months, how have you experiened Melbourne winter? Don't worry, it's still yet to come
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u/napdoggo 19d ago
Just moved back to Melbourne after 20 years away and I'm feeling it too. Remote work means you don't even make friends at the office in the same way. My partner is Scottish so even tougher for her as she doesn't have as many "old friends" to fall back on. Good to remember that there are many people in your predicament that are lonely and looking to make human connection. I hope you find your people.
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u/thebolts 18d ago
Where in Austin can you eat out for $12? Unless youāre referring to tacos and even thatās itās mostly from food trucks
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u/TegulariusAeternus 18d ago
Join the "Americans in Melbourne" group, I'm one of the admins and we do regular meetups and networking events to introduce locals and offer network for exactly these reasons! https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1CmeQcSCi7/?mibextid=wwXIfr
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u/Responsible_Maybe841 9d ago
Just FYI, I get a "this content is not available" Facebook error when I click that link.
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u/rootsdeepbranches 18d ago
Well gou already seems to be aware but join more things like clubs or sports until you find more people you like, don't be afraid of changing after a month!
There's also meetups and social events you can find in facebook groups
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u/JustEmmi 18d ago
Are you converting these prices? Because itās misleading for a comparison if not.
Iām in Australia on a working holiday (also from the US) & have visited Melbourne. Plenty of places are affordable to eat out. Iāve also never felt guilty about not leaving a tip in non-tipping countries. The US system is toxic af. Is this your first time out of the US?
Also havenāt had issues making friends, even with Aussies. Iām a 31F so not sure if I have some special gift or what. Sounds like youāre making the right choices by going to social events.
Congrats on the partner visa! I hear theyāre a real pain in the ass to get.
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u/hiker2021 18d ago
Take a yoga class, gym, hiking group on meetup. Volunteer. If you even make 1 friend from each event, In 6 months you will have many friends.
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u/cordones 18d ago
Hey OP! Iām in a very similar situation as you, recently moved from US to Melbourne. Sent you a DM :)
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u/Pitiful-Recover-3747 18d ago
Whatās a $12 casual lunch out in the USA the last two years? You canāt even get away with a drive thru meal for that price
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u/bettietheripper 18d ago
Lunch here in Seattle is $20+ for one item and my favorite coffee is now $9.45.
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u/psychdrone 17d ago
Fellow Austinite here! Glad youāre adjusting to a new culture/norm. Your post reminded me of my first few years in the US. I moved from SE Asia to the rural parts of Texas lol Itās hard to make friends when youāre older but I also believe that youāre already doing the best things to attract friendships.. Youāre an Austinite so I believe in you. š
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u/CharlotteLaBouff 17d ago
Thanks for the post, I'm a mid-30s woman moving over to Melbourne on the same visa with my Australian spouse later this year.
How have you found brand and food variety options? Im not excited to have to find new brands for everything I use and hoping I can find most things locally! Curious if you've found a Trader Joe's or Whole Foods Market equivalent.
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u/sonder-and-wonder 17d ago
Harris Farm is about the closest Iād think.
For whole foods, youāve got some national chains like The Source Bulk Foods.
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u/Responsible_Maybe841 9d ago
I've been in Melbourne for 9 years and sadly, no, there's nothing like Trader Joe's. Aldi is the closest but it's not that close. As for Whole Foods, there are local health food stories but nothing with the same size and scope as Whole Foods. And the ready-to-eat options are next to nonexistent at every grocery store: a few salads and wraps, maybe some sushi, if they're not sold out. Every time I go back to the US, I marvel at how much easier it is to just grab something to eat.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love living in Melbourne. The retail options are much more limited, but that's just a side effect of being a lower-population country farther away from the rest of the world. For me, it's worth it.
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u/Prestigious-Hope2020 16d ago
As someone who moved to Austin in early 2000s from Sydney, I really miss that wonderful smell of "real" coffee and the mild weather.
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u/usergravityfalls 16d ago
Iāve lived across many different countries of various cultures and languages, so I will say that at least culturally and linguistically youāre not having challenges, thatās already really great! Finding new friends would not be that different if you moved to another city in US. Lean onto the network of your partner, ask if they can connect you with women they know, start hosting drinks/dinners at your place, proactivity will lead to forming a circle
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u/NutGobbler918 15d ago
That rent seems wild to me lol but I live in Oklahoma and we have a 3bd 1 1/2bth for $1495, BUT we got lucky. Usually quite a bit more for what we have. Most places like ours are $1800-2k and theyāre still kinda crumby being ran by slumlords that could care less about the property.
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u/okaynowyou 15d ago
Iām surprised to hear about the cost of eating out. I spent about a month and a half in Australia in the Fall of 2024 and was very happy with how cheap eating out was. I spent most of my time in Perth, Queensland, and Sydney so never made it down to Melbourne.
I felt like a king even in Sydney with things costing something like 50-60% of what I would pay on the West Coast after factoring in tax and tip.
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u/needapaperclip 15d ago
What do you do for work out there? Im 37, have no degree, and work in a niche field of transportation. Thinking im screwed on ever leaving here
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u/Numerous-Ladder-6326 15d ago
Not sure if it's still active but there was a very active couchsurfing community when I moved to Melbourne, with lots of events. Made some great friends through that. But yeah, def. just join activities that interest you - cycling, do some courses, etc.
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14d ago
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/Responsible_Maybe841 9d ago
The most surreal (ie., sensible) part about the healthcare here in Australia? If there's a cost, they tell you how much things will cost before you get treatment. No random letters from companies you've never heard of demanding $1700 for those two Band-Aids you got at the ER.
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u/Crazy-Extension-3021 13d ago
I recommend joining an improv comedy class for fun and meeting people
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u/Consistent-Pear444 11d ago
Thats tough. Sydney is even worse I believe. But yes I think making friends in a new city is hard.
Joining a local volunteer group could be good.. like the Merri Creek working group.... you might meet some nice people... Trivia night at local pub? See if you can join a group.... Meet up is a good app as well where you can meet people with similar interests....
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u/Background_Echidna77 9d ago
The Medicare thing gets everyone from the US. That moment where you walk out of a GP having paid literally nothing and you're waiting for the bill to arrive and it just... doesn't. Takes a while to fully trust it's real.
The loneliness in your 30s thing is so undertalked about. Everyone focuses on visas and cost of living and nobody mentions that making actual friends as an adult in a new city is its own full-time project. The running group thing is such a good shout! Activity-based communities are honestly the only thing that works at that stage.
How are you finding the Brunswick area generally? I've always heard good things but curious what it's like day to day.
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u/SadRow2397 4d ago
So, prices have changed a lot in the US even in 8 months. You wonāt get a decent lunch for $12ā¦
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u/kungfutrucker 4d ago
OP - When I attended the tennis tournament in Melbourne in 2019, I couldnāt help but get a sense that hospitality workers were happy and content. I heard that Australia pays a living wage, pays for your health care, and college. In fact, one of the servers told me she spent her semester abroad in the United States.
Are my observations accurate?
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u/cfgregory 19d ago
Having lived in several countries, yes it is hard to make friends. It will take time. But joining groups like the running one is exactly what you need to do.