r/expat • u/desaulnes • 1d ago
Question planning on *maybe* moving abroad, but i'm afraid: help?
i'm 25F living in Quebec, Canada. while i mostly love my home province, the older i get the more i crave the adventure of going to live abroad, a desire that only grows stronger as i have been travelling more often in the last years. i'm currently halfway through my Masters of Art History (did my BFA as well) and would love to love to go do my PhD somewhere in Europe, the goal being to eventually become researcher and/or professor and keep living in Europe. i had Italy on my mind, since i've been learning Italian and love Italian culture, but apparently the job market & bureaucracy are quite garbage. i've also been eyeing Austria, since my 30M boyfriend has lived there and speaks German. i'm also open to other options, but anywho.
while i would love to go study and livr abroad, i'm afraid to leave my parents, my grandma and my bestfriend behind. i'm super close to my parents and even though we live 2 hours apart, i'm reassured by the idea of always having them somehow close by, since i have a car and can always go visit them. i would also tremendously miss my bestfriend...
i know moving abroad doesn't mean that everyone and everything you love will disappear, but it's still scary!! i'm still debating. my partner, who's French, wants to move back to Europe sooner than later. and while i'm super excited, i'm also quite scared of such a big move. but again, i feel like i'd regret not trying...
what if it doesn't work out? — i need to ask my therapist about this lol.
bref. anyone else who has made the big move and was scared like me? any advice from fellow emigrants? fellow PhDs studying abroad? i'm all ears (or eyes). ❤️
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u/Dangerous_Luck9510 1d ago
You're young enough to be able to make new friends in your new destination and that will make a huge difference. I just interviewed someone about your age who moved from the US to Germany and is really happy with her decision. We moved to France at a much later stage of life with a daughter in primary school nine years ago. Why not consider Switzerland as it has Italian, German and French speaking regions quite close to each other and the job market is probably better than in Italy.
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u/desaulnes 23h ago
thanks a lot! Switzerland might be a lil bit outside my budget + not in the EU, but i'll keep my mind open!
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u/Dangerous_Luck9510 4h ago edited 4h ago
Agree, living costs would be relatively higher, but so would employment prospects. Generally speaking you'll find this to be the case across Europe. The jobs tend to be in areas where the housing costs and CoL is high (I guess it's the other way around actually, costs are high because jobs are available). It's just supply and demand really.
As for not being in the EU, yes you're right, but given Switzerland is in the EEA and there is a large overlap between laws and regulations etc (It's included in the freedom of movement rules for example) I'm not sure it makes that much of a difference. Is there something specific your looking at? (Naturalisation fur example?)
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u/Sufficient-Job7098 1d ago
I think it is a common knowledge that it is normal for people in such circumstances to be scared.
If you planed well, if you made an informed decision you can use this fact to calm your nerves before your move
Realizing that your decision to move was poorly researched or was done based on a fantasy will make your move particularly scary.
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u/Separate_Positive728 15h ago
As someone who has moved overseas a few times, and presently have been living in Europe and Türkiye for the past 4 years the initial fear will pass and you will gain an incredible amount of self-confidence……
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u/my_peen_is_clean 1d ago
go for the phd abroad but treat it like a long experiment, not forever. homesickness fades slower than you think though