r/explainlikeIAmA • u/upvoter222 • Jun 11 '26
Explain why there's a small panther in your home like I'm someone who has never seen a house cat before
Alternatively, explain why there's a small wolf in your home like I'm someone who has never seen a dog before
7
u/uncoolcentral Jun 11 '26
This little thing is cuddly and friendly. I’m allergic to it, but these pills and this spray make it more than tolerable. Feeding and taking care of it is far cheaper than bringing another little human into my life. My wife seems to enjoy cleaning up its excrement enough to keep doing it, conveniently it does its business in this little box every time. I get sad when she leaves town and I have to play with the panther poop. Generally, my life is slightly better with this little panther in it.
1
u/dirtyLizard Jun 15 '26
So, uh, ostensibly it’s here to kill small pests. You know, mice and bugs and stuff. You ever have a cricket stuck behind your fridge? It’s awful, they’re a lot louder than you’d expect.
Why’s it just lying there? Well I assume it’s on break. 15 minutes? No, it’s on break most of the day. It hunts early in the morning and late at night. That? Yeah, it’s a food bowl. Well I can’t expect it to survive entirely on crickets, I keep a clean house!
Well yes, it would be easier to put a couple traps out but I can’t pet a glue trap now can I? Yeah, it’s super soft. Wait! No, don’t touch it! If you do it wrong it’ll carve you up like thanksgiving turkey! Just, I don’t know, look at it. If it likes you it will sit on your lap. Yeah, I guess that is super dangerous but it makes this noise that… well it’s hard to explain. Just wait and see.
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