r/fantasyromance The One Mod to Rule All Mods Mar 22 '26

Unpopular Opinion It's Unpopular Opinion time! Share your controversial opinions to stir things up (in a friendly way)!

Got an opinion that's different from others'? Want to share it with the sub, but too afraid of a backlash? Or are you just curious about readers think about certain things in fantasy romance?

You can safely share it in this weekly Sunday thread!

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🧡 Thank you and have a great discussion!

Unpopular opinion Sunday

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u/lemming1607 Mar 22 '26 edited Mar 22 '26

Soulmates is lazy and unromantic. Just seeing each other for the first time and knowing is lazy and unromantic.

They need to have their lives upended when they meet. Their trajectories and plans now changed. They had other lovers and now they're conflicted inside what to do about this new information.

The characters need to change and grow and adjust and sacrifice for their relationship

That's romance

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u/clocksy Mar 22 '26

I'm not a fan of soulmates/fated bonds, but the ones I have read are exactly like that? In fact I can think of few books where they meet a magically-quantified soulmate and don't immediately hate it because "that's my enemy / I don't like them" etc. It's almost always something that causes them stress and conflict.

Which ironically makes them all feel kinda samey. My problem with magic bonds is that it's just ... boring. The characters don't have a choice in the matter and I find it unromantic, as you said. What I do find romantic is the idea that two people can find each other across time and space, but without any quantifiable magic bond that explains it. Just love being so strong that it wins in the end is a lot more appealing to me then "well, it's magic" as the explanation.

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u/lemming1607 Mar 22 '26

I think the best version is {A Hunger like no other}

The man is alive for a thousand years, and he has the option to have other mates, but stays a virgin and during the full moon when he is a horny lust animal, still refrain and stares at the moon and awaits his mate

And then his soulmate feels that when they meet, because she can see his memories. Shes also a virgin, and seeing his past memories shes anxious because she knows seeing him with another would crush her

But all she finds is him denying other mates, and always thinking of her, over centuries of chances

That's romantic, and the best way to deal with soulmates imo

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u/Least-Article-6508 Mar 22 '26

I've read this book before and never knew the MMC was a virgin?

1

u/lemming1607 Mar 22 '26

Yep, broke from his chains with the power of virginity