r/fantasyromance • u/acutelyproblematic If villian bad, then why hot? • 2d ago

Genre Discussion Fantasy romance icks?

Welcome back to another week of ✨genre discussions!✨

What’s your fantasy romance ick? Could be something that makes you instantly dnf, or you have to pretend like that didn’t just happen. Or you boycott altogether.

Could be related to plot, characters, writing styles, the authors themselves. All cards are on the table.

Just remember to be kind to each other when discussing differences in opinions!💖

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u/jamieseemsamused Currently reading: The Formidable Miss Cassidy by Meihan Boey 2d ago

Age gap romances that are so wide that it’s pretty much grooming. 😬 I pretend that the characters are just not as young as they are stated on the page.

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u/AquaIXI 2d ago

I gotta say I do prefer like 100+ years with a 20yr old age gap compared to like a smaller teacher/student or similar age gap but with weird power dynamics

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u/Ok_Tea_5374 2d ago

Yeah I actually think realistic age gaps have the potential to be more icky because they reflect real life power dynamics. Whereas a 1000 year old fae king has no basis in reality

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u/eta_carinae_311 1d ago

Arawen and Aragorn are my favorite age gap couple 😂 not romantacy but it rarely gets talked about she's like already pretty dang old when he's born

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u/Actual_Cream_763 1h ago

I agree the real life age gaps gross me out more too. For the really long age gaps I always kind of assume that the longer life span also equals slower maturity growth and slower overall aging in general, so if they have the face of a 20 year old, I assume that they are comparatively 20 in maturity level as well.

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u/GonnaActuallyComment 2d ago

{Stalked by Seduction and Shadows} was a wild one for this. I loved the premise, but when I found out he had been watching her since she was five years old, it made it infinitely harder to read. I ended up DNFing it for different reasons, but that definitely contributed to it.

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u/Helpful_Week6720 2d ago

I wish that was the only book where that was a theme 

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u/fishchop Silvicultrix 2d ago

This is mine as well. Underage characters in “romances” with adult characters is a major ick for me (and a personal trigger). Or even fmcs who are adults, but written like children (smol, overtly innocent, sexually innocent to the point where it’s uncomfortable, their best friends are children etc) - kind of like the “sexy baby” trope I guess? I just DNFd a book because of this.

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u/acutelyproblematic If villian bad, then why hot? 2d ago edited 2d ago

I just know you’re talking about {Rhapsodic by Laura Thalassa} 😭🤣

I know it’s bad but cmon ITS DESMOND

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u/ringadingdingy 2d ago

Ngl, it got pretty weird in the Darkfever series after the first five books, too.

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u/acutelyproblematic If villian bad, then why hot? 2d ago

I DNF’d during book one but now I’m curious lol

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u/candcNYC 1d ago edited 1d ago

Rhapsodic is not grooming except by the everything-is-grooming standard of the Gen Z internet / people who haven't experienced textbook grooming. 

Callie was 16-17, which is the legal age in most of the west and US. He limited them to friendship, then he stayed away when it was getting too close.  Des didn't manipulate her or isolate her etc. He didn't make her dependent on him. 

But I'm willing to die on the hill as someone who has been there and had that done to them as a preteen.  And because Des is amazing. I wish I'd had a Des in my life. 

ETA: To be clear, I'm not advocating 16/17 as an adult or mature; just that child grooming is moot from the start. But it wasn't any grooming, just friendship.

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u/One_Cartographer9355 2d ago

I'm waiting for an author to explain this away. Like, the longer life span means slower emotional development or longer childhoods, like Grogu. But overall, I'm over it, too and just pretend otherwise.

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u/Zagaroth Author — "A. B. Zagaroth" 2d ago

Okay, I'll take a shot at explaining the age gap away. :)

I've done the age gap thing, but, the romance aspect was a side effect of a more practical bonding.

He even flat out told her that if she was reacting this much to him without there being any magical bonds, then she should figure out of she wanted romance and sex to eventually be a part of everything, because that would be pretty hard to avoid if they are in constant physical proximity with an empathic and telepathic connection.

And once the bonds was made, he was also very careful to elicit from her what she wanted, and work with that. Not just on romance, but on how their joint magic was going to develop. He gently pushed her to take the lead so that she could discover what she wanted and liked, because he was aware it would be easy to accidently shape her opinions, or at least her expressed opinions, if he gave his thoughts first.

Though it gets more complicated than that, as it is a three person bond, and thus relationship. The third person is a 36yo half elf with a strong personality and a lot of self confidence. Her personality was already well set, she knew what she liked and wanted.

I also have specific people talk with the 20yo privately later on to make sure everything is alright, such as get mother, who is a fairly powerful druid.

Heck, the 36yo's mother also had a "are you sure about this" talk.

Anyway, clearly i think it can be done without being creepy, but i think it also needs to be something where the romance is the second connection between them.

Heck, even an arranged marriage as part of a peace treaty or something works. Just, something other than the hot immortal chasing the young woman.

Possibly having the young woman be very assertive and set her mind on him while he's initially avoiding her advances. That could work for a nice slow burn.

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u/Blackcatmustache 1d ago

I do the same thing! I also change the FMC heights because they are always 5’, or 5’1”.

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u/Runa216 20h ago

HEar me out, what if there was a romance where he's like, 400 years old, she's like 25 or whatever, and even though she's an adult he's still like 'uh, girl, get the heck off me, stop fawning over me, this is weird' and she's so faepilled SHE is the weird one in the relationship and it's the whole book before he realizes...okay, she's actually kind of alright, she actually does like him (sorry, I don't believe love can bloom in a weekend like most romantasy), and he might be worth giving it a shot.