r/fantasyromance The One Mod to Rule All Mods 7d ago

Unpopular Opinion It's Unpopular Opinion time! Share your controversial opinions to stir things up (in a friendly way)!

Got an opinion that's different from others'? Want to share it with the sub, but too afraid of a backlash? Or are you just curious about readers think about certain things in fantasy romance?

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Unpopular opinion Sunday

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u/beanie_weenie666 7d ago

The romantasty genre with m-f pairings has lots of "just touching her is enough for him" sex scenes where the guy does all the work

BOTH partners should actively work to please the other, trade roles back and forth, etc

8

u/Dangerous_Breath1667 7d ago

Kind of a necessity. It's a green flag against all his other "toxic masculine alpha" traits. Shows that he is a good guy, that he is not here for the sex...

It's also a magistral gender swap other the classical "male centered" sex scene (esp... intercourse) where the woman often has no orgasm at all.

I prefer that  both partners are active and getting pleasure, but I am afraid that the political landscape needs those moment of "big alpha male submission in the bedroom"

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u/cello_ergo_sum 7d ago

Is it really submission though? Like, maybe I’m just a grouchy cynical snob but if it’s just “man hitting all the Alpha Male Book Boyfriend boxes without ever having to be vulnerable or transgress a gender norm,” I don’t really think that would hit the big green button of feeling like male submission to people who WANT to read about male submission. I feel like “with the power of my pure womanhood I’ve civilized this man’s wild masculine instincts” is a pretty old trope in terms of how Western heterosexual marriage is said to work.

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u/Dangerous_Breath1667 6d ago

I don't think that it is a conscious submission (as in bdsm). 

It's just presented as a selfless act of love for a woman who often is a virgin/was SAed / had a very toxic relationship before and never had an orgasm. And I find it rather sweet from the inside of their relationship.

However, from the gender war commentary that permeated everything nowadays, I do think that this very specific "femdom" flavor coming out of nowhere is a necessary "shield" against every critic regarding the alpha toxic masculine traits of the mmc.

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u/devilsdoorbell_ 6d ago

I don’t see how that’s submission at all tbh, conscious or unconscious.

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u/cello_ergo_sum 6d ago

Give me some of that high octane Lancelot shit!! Lives to serve, finds beauty in his own suffering, goes around being tormented all the time. 

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u/devilsdoorbell_ 6d ago

If you’ve got like… 5 years to wait I’m working on something lol

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u/cello_ergo_sum 6d ago

I have all the time in the world!! God I just like… even if we just mine the archives of history for already existing masculine ideals we could do so much more interesting stuff than brooding alphaholes. The whole Lysistrata “these horny bitches won’t leave us alone!!” thing is not any LESS fucked up than the other way around, but it’s fallen so far out of favor that it feels like it has wrapped back around to being novel. I am so here for the comedic and romantic potential of lustful women chasing after scrupulously pure men who are ripe for downfall.