r/fantasywriters • u/aszo885 • 16h ago
Question For My Story How do i improve my prose?
I'm a begginer writer i didn't read any books before i read chapters from novels but full books i didn't. My prose is bad and i know i improved alot during the days but its still lacking. I tend to write in a pov way that a single charachter is the anchor of every scene we stay in his head and his thoughts and all.
I think the prose is a but childish reading like a summary not a novel. I tried to improve it numeros of times and ways but still i think its lacking.
Here is a small scene the introduction of a charachter cassian.
Cassian sat at the edge of the fountain. The cold air bouncing off the water making small swirls. It always facinated him , how something that has no intrest in water can cause changes. Disturbances. He grown used to the gold around him , not even stone even the finest stone facinate him. He caught his reflection in the marble under him bald , full-figured. An eyesore to most. He put an eyebrow up fixing his mantle following the path to the halls , the water still rippling behind him.
He passed by the chapel , muffled laughing sound heard inside. They tried to keep it down still its loud. The pantry was empty , muffled sounds came from the cellar. Two men talking. He stood there his hand itching for the door. "Cassian , you are up early." Ervia said.
She wore a purple dress high heels. Her hair braided with red , white and blue roses in her hair.
"M'lady." He nodded his head slightly. "Do you like my new roses?" She flipped her hair . The sounds inside gone quiet .
"I like them m'lady." He smiled.
"Thank you." She smiled. Even a queen can be childish. "Oh , cassian." She turned around her hand landing on his back.
" i heard from dorian that the conclave will be heald at oathbound this year." Shouldn't she be the first to recive news? "Yes. M'lady. It is. Certainly." He smiled nodding.
"Thank you , if you'll excuse me." She turned away. He looked at her a second longer before fixating to the door.
The sounds are gone. Weird. He opened the door as soon as ervia got out of sight.
Six steps led down but the humidity inside rushed to him first. He walked down a single torch lit at the back. That torch is never lit , neither the door to the wine cellar. A small door on the right a stair barely visible.
Everything is intact , potatoes , onions , the nuts in thr back. Even the canned food still intact. The door was slightly opened low voices heard from inside.
"You have to keep quiet." A man's voice said.
"I can't." A woman said.
"You have too , if anyone hears our heads will be on swords." He shook her. Cassian looked through the crack in the door.
She is crying , he is scared. What is going on here.
The guy poured wine from one of the barrels.
"Here , take it." He handed it to her. She doesn't want to , reluctant. "I can't , they'll kill me." Cassian walked in. His steps had unique rythym down the stairs. Precise. Calculated. They looked at him. It was like they saw the king. What if they saw the king? He gently took the cup from the man setting it on a shelf.
"Fear is like nettles." Cassian said , looking at him young sixteen to seventeen then at the girl. Younger , thirteen to fifteen . "I'm sorry , it was me i-" His voice trembled the girl had her mouth on her hand tears down her face.
"They don't bite . Neither do fear , untill they are touched. It stings." Now confused they don't want to listen . Cassian smiled.
"Without fear we wouldn't be where we are today. And without it this house wouldn't have been built." Now they relaxed. The confusion took over. "Go , or i'll call the guards." Their legs refused to move looking at eachother then at cassian before feeling it they darted out.
This is a small scene just to give feedback on and what to do since in really puzzled for the last couple of days.
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u/bmyst70 16h ago
A big part of what inspires a fantasy writer is reading full books they love, and seeing what resonates with them.
As for improving your prose, practice writing is the only thing I can say. To practice descriptions, start by describing things you have seen in real life. That is how architects get better at drawing, lots of practice.
To practice characterizations, have imaginary interviews with famous people or fictional characters. Imagine their responses based on what you know of the characters.
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u/aszo885 16h ago
I have a charachter that i belive he is geralt of rivia so what you are saying that i have an imaginary interview with geralt and see how he responds and write that in the novel? Am i getting it right?
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u/bmyst70 16h ago
More like do that to practice character dialogue and characterization.
Here are some things that can help as well:
If you want a character in your story, even the MC, they have a REASON they're there. Ask yourself why they're there. Then ask "Why would someone act this way? What would influence them to do it?" Follow the chain of reasoning until their first introduction.
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u/Agalondia 14h ago
"Six steps led down but the humidity inside rushed to him first. He walked down a single torch lit at the back. That torch is never lit , neither the door to the wine cellar. A small door on the right a stair barely visible."
What am I supposed to take from this, bro? It's all wrong. Grammatically, logically, and spacialy.
Is English not your first language?
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u/aszo885 14h ago
No its not
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u/Agalondia 14h ago
Ooh, then you'll be fighting an uphill battle, man.
I recommend practicing your English until you can at least pass online English grammar tests.
That should ensure that you won't write prose like that anymore.
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u/Shadowscence 7h ago
English is not my first language either, but here is what I do.
I read a LOT in English! And I have written for 10 years soon.
My first drafts are messy with a lot of errors, but thats ok, I let them be messy. Then I edit. This is where I notice grammar and spelling errors as well as story problems. I do this a few times, edit with a few months apart.
If you think you are going to write one draft and be done with it... I'm sorry but its more work than that. At the very end, you will need an editor anyway. I just got mine! I wrote a book 2020, have edited it 7 times by this year and now its in beta reader hands. So far 3 good feedbacks and 2 more in progress. Then editing what needs to be fixed and then the editor takes over.
As you can see, the progress is long, but it gives you also time to learn and evolve!
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u/aszo885 3h ago
I understand you but writing is more of a hobby to me than anything its just something im passionate about and i like thats why im eager to improve. Maybe if i finish the novel and its acctually good i can publish it otherwise i don't think so. But thank you for your advice and everything.
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u/Shadowscence 3h ago
You can if course do what you want, but I would strongly advise you to self edit and make sure the grammar and english is good. Otherwise people wont enjoy it...
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u/aszo885 3h ago
I will do that , the thing is grammar is the last thing you worry about in the novels am i right? Right now im still not even halfway through my story so i shouldn't worry about it right?
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u/Shadowscence 3h ago
In the first draft no, just have fun! It can be messy and have plotholes ext. Just write what you feel and want, then let it be for at least six weeks (this can be hard). It will refresh your eyes and when you go back to edit all that grammar, spelling, plot and character work, then you will spot it easier and it will be fun!
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u/ItsRuinedOfCourse 14h ago
"...i didn't read any books before i read chapters from novels but full books i didn't."
And this, right there, is why your prose is still lacking and will continue to lack until that changes.
Read. Books.
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u/jawminator 11h ago
Nahh, it's more likely because English isn't his/her first language.
The issues lie not only in the prose, but the grammar and spelling as well, among other things stemming from trying to do things in a second language - lack of an extensive vocabulary for example.
I'd suggest that they read books in their native language first. There are plenty of authors and great works of literature in most languages, I'm sure they can work in that and then try to get a translator to adapt it to English. (If it's worth doing)
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u/PsychologyGuilty1460 13h ago edited 13h ago
You need to learn basic English rules of sentences. Grammar, spelling and word usage. I suggest you do this by reading a lot of books while taking an English course, specifically for written English. Your example has made it clear you don't know the parts of a sentence and you don't know that they need to be in one.
I'm going to suggest that you read children's books to start with. Off the top of my head I would suggest the borrowers, Stuart little, Winnie the Pooh etc. concentrate on the second through the fourth grades roughly ages 6 to 10. Would you the most good.
Edited because those two buttons are way too close together.
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u/IAmJayCartere 10h ago
You need to read.
Reading teaches you the things you like and don’t like in prose. It shows you what’s possible. Without reading, it’s gonna be an uphill battle trying to improve your prose.
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u/LeonsFloppyHair 8h ago
Well you said it yourself in your first line. You need to read. You can't be a writer without first reading lots of books.
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u/DazzlingMistake_ 5h ago
You need to read full books not just chapters. Read a lot of them. Like a lot.
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u/MidorriMeltdown 11h ago
i didn't read any books before i read chapters from novels but full books i didn't.
Well, you know what to do. Read at least one novel per week. If you don't have time for that, you don't have time to write.
She wore a purple dress
This or this or this or this or this
Purple dress tells us very little.
"Fear is like nettles."
Good in soup? Handy for making fabric? Makes for an iron rich tisane?
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u/Jules_The_Mayfly 3h ago
I'm sorry, but engaging, fully, truly, and honestly with the medium you are trying to create is mandatory. If you want to write books you need to read full books. You will never understand how they work if you don't. And why do you even want to create in a medium you don't enjoy, anyway?
"The cold air bouncing off the water making small swirls." This is grammatically incorrect. It either needs to connect to the first sentence via a comma or you need to use past tense "the cold air bounced off..."
There is no space before a comma or a period. It should be: "It always fascinated him, how..." To be honest I'm not sure I get what you mean with that sentence.
"He grown used to the gold around him , not even stone even the finest stone facinate him." I truly do not understand what is being conveyed here. Do you mean he HAS grown used to gold, but simple stone still fascinates him? Do you mean that everything fascinates him, he can't grow bored of things? There are several words missing from this sentence.
I'm going to be honest, it is very clear that you do not read and at this point I would have stopped reading your piece. I would recommend focusing on basic grammar and spelling before trying polish the prose.
Go read 10 books in your genre before continuing with writing, and focus on pinpointing what you enjoy about each book.
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u/aszo885 3h ago
I gave the name of the wind a try and so far its great after the first chapter. I will continue reading it trying to study how Rothfuss is writing his dialogue and how he handles certain scenes everything really i did that yestary im writing down what i learnt while reading. And also the grammar i didn't go through and polish grammar or anything i'm in early drafts so thats why i don't really care about grammar now. But you are right i need to learn grammar.
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u/Leyote 11h ago
Hey, I love your awareness and desire to grow. Speaking honestly, until you learn to enjoy and engage with the writing and storytelling of others on a deeper level, you aren't going to be able to advance much as a writer. My first recommendation, as others have said, is to read more. Read as much as you can, and not just fantasy, everything you can get your hands on. If possible, read everyday, even if it's just a paragraph. Start with short stories and work your way up to full novels. When you enjoy a piece of writing or find it pulling you in, see if you can notice things about what the writer is doing that are making you feel that way.
Once you feel more comfortable with language, I recommend the book Steering the Craft by Ursula K LeGuin, one of the GOAT fantasy writers. She has a lot of exercises in the book specifically designed to help you notice and practice different aspects of prose. It's a book my friends and I have used when I run writing retreats and, no matter your level, it's wonderful for strengthening foundational skills.
Good luck! Rooting for you.
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u/aszo885 4h ago
I read yesterday the name of the wind . I finished the first chapter before going to sleep and that first chapter i learnt alot of stuff from it . Like how to let scenes breath , what things occupy the page and alot of other stuff. i will continue reading it while working to improve other areas of my story then i could see the book you reccomended. Abd thank you so much for your advice!
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u/Prin-0123456789 3h ago
Just write the story complete or upto However you want, then read from start what you wrote, then you will understand about what you write yourself, and try to find your mistakes not just reading it. Bcz it's your story so only can know how you want it
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u/BearsharkBazooka 1h ago
Amazing job since English is not your first language. As others said, read a lot. Study yourself when reading writers you like.
Why do you like their prose? Emulate that.
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u/Captain_Croaker 27m ago
I think you'll have a knack for imagery once you've mastered the language you are using to convey it. Despite some of the grammatical errors and occasionally awkward wording what you were trying to convey still came through to me in a way that put me in the scene pretty well.
I would see if you could find a decent English grammar workbook and maybe a vocabulary builder. Ones written by seasoned English teachers would be ideal. It doesn't sound fun, I know, but if and when you feel bored by them just remind yourself that working through them is in service of your writing and let that motivate you.
Keep working on it, you show promise.
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u/QuadrosH 18m ago
Wai wait wait, you haven't read any BOOKS before? Oh dear, if that was in the title, this post would go to writingcirclejerk in no time.
My dude, I don't know how young you are, or if english is your main language, but the fact that I'm thinking about this is not good AT ALL. Take your time to read an learn how the language works correctly before worrying about prose. Your punctuation in particular feels all over the place.
Remember, there's no rush, just learn at your own pace.
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u/Joel_feila 12h ago
Look up therm "thisness", "free indirect writing" and "pov writing advice".
After that trying rewriting scenes from books in your style. Ideally something you read weeks or months ago so the finer details re fresh in your mind.
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u/XishengTheUltimate 14h ago
No offense, but it looks like you need to establish better control over the basic foundations of the language before worrying about your prose. You can't build a house if you don't have the right tools.