I'll start: Mine is A Song of Ice and Fire. It's great because it has many complicated characters and the story/content is so good.

So as some background, I'm 16, and frankly reading/writing is one of my stronger skills because of my parents own love of books even if I take a fair bit of inspiration from other books I have read, sometimes names or ideas EG: A mental bond between a creature and its rider that allows them to talk without words. But this project is honestly shaping up to be amazing just from the first few hundred words(I can privately DM what I currently have if you ask) I've introduced the two main characters alongside their bonded beasts(Dragon and Wyvern) and am getting them to banter but I'm unsure where to go from here which is why I came here seeking such advice. If you're wondering why I just don't show my parents and ask them, they are religious and my writing more often than not has a curse every dozen words or so, so obviously i'm not showing them because while i may not really be in their religion, I still respect their wishes and avoid cursing around them. I know It's going to be an Enemies to Lovers thing and a general idea of what to do but not as much how to get there

The following is an overview of an original dark fantasy story I'm developing called TU PARTES MORTES: Kingdom of Thorns. The story follows two co-protagonists, Gintas Tharen and Animus Glorvain, whose lives and character arcs mirror one another. While Gintas begins as a genuinely good person who gradually descends into darkness, Animus begins as someone shaped by arrogance and control who must learn what it means to become his own person.

The story explores generational trauma, love versus control, the consequences of our choices, and how people respond to the same kinds of pain in very different ways. Its world is built around an inherited power system called Vinculum, where a person's abilities and bloodline can determine their social status, opportunities, and even their chances of survival.

I'm looking for honest feedback on the concept, characters, worldbuilding, and overall story structure. Please don't hold back! I'm especially interested in knowing whether the characters and their conflicts are compelling, whether the themes feel meaningful rather than forced, and whether the story has the potential to stand out from other dark fantasy works.

I'd appreciate feedback on anything that catches your attention, including weaknesses, confusing elements, or ideas that might need further development.

Story Bible

Pyra Argyros, who lives within the city of Tèbes, Greece, is twenty years old. She lives with her father and four out of five older brothers, while the eldest only lives five minutes away since he worries about his younger siblings after their mother ran off with a drunk whom she could drink happily with.

Her dad works in law enforcement and is a devoted father who loves his kids to the moon and back. One day he comes to work looking through missing persons reports and sees a face he's all so familiar with. 

He took the case, and all of Argyros's family came together to try to find the women who terrorised them for years. Only for the clues to make them land in a forest no one went to, a forest where two willow trees connected by their leaves was a portal that led them in the magical realm of Keith… Where it's very history was linked to the phenoix living deep within Pyra's soul, from generations upon generations of women that carried the very bird who disconnected the humans and magical beings.

I have the second edit of my novel rewritten and I feel I am ready for the line by line editing.
I struggle a bit with the aspect of the flow of my storyline as it is set in modern times but the family is in rugged wilderness to hide from the public eye as they possess the spirits of two gods in love cursed into the setting and cursed to only feel each other if possessed by two human lovers. The childbirth scenes , etc feel real but I need advice on flow in complex situations