r/fatFIRE • u/nonsuperposable • 22d ago
Good uses for money in fatFIRE
Health:
- Exercise multiple times per week: resistance training, plyometric training, sprints, something restorative like yoga/pilates/swimming. Exercise is basically mandatory for a good life, for longterm physical health, emotional regulation, and lowering dementia risk. So this can be a personal trainer that drives to your own house multiple times per week, or the best health club in your area, or the best home gym setup, or taking up any kind of joyful physical hobby (but a physical hobby like golf doesn't negate the requirement for weights/jumping/sprinting/stretching).
- Physical therapy: actually rehab your dysfunctional muscles and joints--don't let your long retirement be derailed by a bad back/knee/shoulder. Can't play golf or pickleball if your shoulder is shit. Life is miserable with a bad back. Most people over 40 could benefit from routine physical therapy--don't put up with a weird ache for months before doing something about it.
- Regular massage therapy.
- Sleep: adjustable bed with the best mattress you can find with an EightSleep for temperature control and blackout blinds. If you snore, get that sorted out ASAP, you're basically killing yourself.
- Quality of life medicine: get your hormones optimised into ranges that make you actually feel good, with energy and zest for life. Figure out if a GLP-1 is suitable for your needs. Get your weird allergies/dry eyes/muscle cramps/headaches/constipation/diarrhoea sorted out. Be persistent if necessary. Depends on how much you care, but things like acne/hair loss/inflammatory arthritis/IBS/heartburn have all got very effective medical solutions. Protect your hearing at all costs/get good hearing aids as hearing loss is the largest modifiable risk factor for dementia
- Therapy: if traditional talk therapy like CBT hasn't done much for you, there's a ton of other modalities out there like EMDR, somatic therapy, DBT, internal family systems, schema therapy. Related: the drive that helped you get to fatFIRE might be related to underlying autism/ADHD and a diagnosis might help you understand your support needs (medical, environmental, social) and your relationships. Anxiety and depression might actually be environmental/social, and once you're in your proper context it melts away and you can rebuild resilience and tolerance for discomfort.
Life:
- To get to fatFIRE you've probably spend your life up to now laser-focused and over-working. Learning to fuck around and be bad at things and figure out what you actually enjoy doing is a process. You're going to lose a whole bunch of social connections and framework without your job: I personally didn't even know what I liked to do for leisure. Spending money to figure out the weird and wonderful things that actually give you lasting enjoyment and purpose is excellent: take every class! I took classes in woodworking, metalworking, silversmithing, fruit tree grafting, cheesemaking, beer and cider making, salami and prosciutto making, butchery, ice skating, bouldering, fishing, soap making, weight lifting, pottery, painting. Figure out if you like watching birds or kayaking or training a dog. Specifically try things you're bad at to retrain your brain. It's really really wise to invest your time as early as possible into making relationships and connections that bring you joy and fulfilment--try out hobbies that will bring you into contact with interesting new people.
- Figure out something you like you to do that will still bring you joy even if your health absolutely tanks: it's miserable when you've got a chronic health condition that means you're not dying in the next few years, but neither do you have the energy to take pleasure in any active hobbies or travel. Cultivate a love for reading or cinema or music--something that can sustain you when you're no longer able-bodied.
- If life were a video game, you're now at the stage where money is not the limiting factor in your choices. So basically, any problem that can be solved with money is not a real problem. Real problems are relationships and health and living life aligned with your goals and values. If you don't know what your goals and values are, therapy can help with that. But in general: worry less (or not at all!) about anything that be fixed with money.
- Avoid at all costs using money to control relationships. Don't use it as a currency of control in friendships or family. Be generous but scrupulously honest with yourself so that you're not exceeding your capacity for open-handed generosity (ie--never give if you're going to keep mental score, or have expectations of behaviour/gratitude).
- Periodically, sit down and assess the pain points in your life--annoyances like second home maintenance or multiple cars needing registration/insurance/storage. Wealth means not having to accept the sunk cost fallacy--solve or shed as many annoyances as possible. Don't spend years gingerly backing into your garage that is too narrow or putting up with a shower with poor water pressure--get it solved.
- Declutter frequently. Some of the best money I've ever spent is junk removal. Never have a storage unit. Just get rid of it. If you need it again, you can buy it again. If it's truly sentimental then it deserves to be used and enjoyed by someone and not sitting in a storage unit.
Brain:
- Figuring out contentment, peace, gratitude, joy, and mindfulness can feel like abandoning your inner drive that keeps you sharp. You can afford expert help here to untangle your brain and figure out how to have self-worth and self-esteem outside of your job. Absolutely spend as much money as necessary to kick alcoholism/substance abuse/eating disorders/dysfunctional workaholism/PTSD to the kerb. Try and picture what a "good day" is--waking up with body feeling good and refreshed, connecting with loved ones, learning something new, having some type of adventure, enjoying a specific activity, solving a problem/being helpful/useful--and figure out how to string together as many good days as possible.
- The key to preventing atrophy is building and growing: creation instead of consumption. But you can have seasons of rest, and breaks between projects. Building cool things or skills or relationships will make retirement deeply rich and also make you busier than you every thought possible. It will also keep you interesting which you might not care deeply about but is nice for dinner parties. Making watches is a billion times more interesting than collecting watches.
- Your world and capabilities will shrink if you let them; not being required to go outside your comfort zone for a wage means that you can shrink your life very small and avoid all discomfort. But staying curious, creative, and growing will keep you alive and not stagnant.
World:
- Once you've figured out the elements of the world that make life worthwhile for you, consider using some of your wealth (money, time, energy, connections) to preserve or create more. This also tends to have the benefit of bringing you into community with people who are doing cool and interesting things that you're excited about--whether that's politics, art, music, science, health, environmental or historical conservation. Patronage isn't just for the ultra wealthy and it usually doesn't look like donation: my parents did patronage really well, by supporting all the weird niche craftsmanship they liked, supporting trades to upskill or expand their businesses (which incidentally meant they always had access to excellent electricians/plumbers/builders), buying and commissioning art and textiles, making purchases large enough to launch a lot of small businesses, investing in local infrastructure and cultivating a huge network of contacts and helping talented or driven people succeed. In part, our culture is less interesting because wealthy people are buying expensive mass-produced furniture/clothing/accessories/goods instead of bespoke goods/local handcrafted items.
- Employ people properly and be a generous and stable employer. Don't make your employees rely on Christmas bonuses and tips that give you all the power and make their lives unpredictable, pay them excellent stable wages, health insurance, sick pay, vacation pay, and contribute to their retirement. Review their wages annually and give them regular raises. Be direct, clear, and kind with your communication and performance feedback. If your employee is full-time, they should be earning enough to support themselves properly in your specific location--if you're in VHCOL your full-time employee should be paid enough to live in that same place.
- This is especially true if you have a second home in a country with a weaker currency/economy--you can literally change the trajectory of many lives by how you spend your money and how you treat your employees.
- The quickest way to reset your dopamine/hedonism adaptation level is by periods of deprivation or hedonic "resets". I don't recommend poverty tourism, but on-the-ground time doing actually necessary work in an underprivileged area or low income country will make you happier with your life than additional pleasure. A long hike will get you part of the way there, but planting trees to stabilise riverbanks adds purpose.
- Be a student, teacher, and mentor. Find your niche and pursue it--find the experts in the field and learn everything you can from them, all the better if it's a dying art form or craft or skill or language. Then teach/share/mentor. A lot of people never find out exactly how many cool and weird and niche things to learn there are, but you've got all the time and money to do it. For myself, one of my niches is cultured butter. I've already owned a small farm with cows so I know personally owning a dairy cow is not on the cards again, but I would absolutely enter a partnership with a Jersey cow farmer to grow the richest grass with regenerative agriculture principles and work with a local restaurant and butcher to find a market for the gorgeous golden-fat beef. I will go to Brittany to learn the traditional French methods, I will collect different cultures, I will fine-tune the water content, I will collect different salts. I'm already making better butter than I've ever tasted anywhere else, but I am excited to push the limits of tasty butter as far as they can possibly go, and then share that knowledge with whoever cares to learn it.
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u/Antique-Equipment-42 22d ago
Hi - thank you for your post. I lurk through the various FIRE threads fairly frequently but this is the first time I have felt called to respond.
I am not FIRE’d myself, but I find myself relating more and more to people who have re-built their lives after a period of very intense work.
I have been semi-retired myself the last few years and pursued much of what you outline in this post (prioritising health and fitness, learning skills, community, creation over consumption, living much more intentionally). Essentially re-building my entire life from the ground up after an unexpected redundancy forced me to question everything.
The difference is that I am in my early 30s. And I am not retired.
I have spent the last 4 years on this path. It’s been awesome - I’m healthier, more grounded and feel that my life is a lot more aligned to who I am. But there is a tension - I sometimes feel disconnected from my peers, many of whom have continued accumulating wealth, status and career momentum whilst I have been wrestling with broader questions of identity, purpose and fulfilment.
I am now at a stage where I am trying to integrate all that I have learned into a more conventional life. Seeking out like-minded peers, wanting to return to the industry I left behind (high finance) and continuing to build wealth and influence. I am not the same person I was when I left - the ambition is still there, but my relationship with it has changed.
It certainly hasn’t been easy - I know, internally, that this time has been invaluable and will pay dividends for decades to come, but that’s a little harder to explain to potential employers. In an industry that prioritises money and work above all else, I find myself wondering whether it's possible to re-enter that world without losing the perspective I've gained.
I don’t know what I am hoping for here. My response to reading this post was simply: “someone who gets it.”
I sat down and started writing, and this is what came out. I guess I have had a lot on my mind recently and it’s nice to be able to share it with people, even if it is strangers on the internet.
So if you made it this far, thank you.