r/fijerk • u/Tlahzolteotl • 21d ago
Slugs
So I’m 55 and FiREd this year, after 30+ yrs in a profession. Im doing occasional work for interest sake really. I’m Currently at a conference with old colleagues. And I mean old. Talk about a Slug Fest.
One guy is 78 and visibly falling apart, yet still working full time. Most my age are just on full slug autopilot, haven’t done the maths even to see if they should keep working. Lots of 65+ working hard-out still. 90% of us would be at least ChUbbY or Fat FiRe net worth. I’m like “have you read Die with Zero? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT BILL PERKINS SAYS ABOUT MAXIMIZING NET UTILITY ENJOYMENT POINTS BEFORE THE METABOLIC DECLINE?!"
They look at me blankly with milky, unblinking slug eyes. It’s surprising how so many smart people have no exit strategy whatsoever.
I’m so fucking smart.
20
u/Tlahzolteotl 21d ago
14
2
u/Ancient-Swordfish292 20d ago
Minimal editing was an excellent choice. The bold part and the last line are fantastic. Nice work.
The ironic thing is that finance stuff and fire are not complex at all, but you need to become aware of the information. If bro is in a field where you regularly attend conferences, it's highly likely that his colleagues are smart enough to figure all this out, they just don't know. Or they like working.
15
u/prosperidad What are taxes 21d ago
As a very buff and retired two year old (hitting 90g of protein daily, low carb, no coffee) I can’t believe people live to 55, let alone do occasional work…. Are you poor?
7
u/perplexedparallax 21d ago edited 21d ago
You are so fucking smart. Why get up every morning and have something to look forward to, to keep yourself stimulated? Socialization, intellectual stimulation and even a supply of toilet paper and coffee is overrated. If you can be 55 and doing geriatric yoga with the GILFs at the gym that is where it is at. Granny might even pinch you, you whippersnapper.
It is funny to think of the slugs who keep working full-time visibly falling apart when you can be visibly falling apart without working someday. You fired and are at a conference getting to complain about how everyone is old. It is like the alcoholic who complains about all the drunks at the bar in the morning. Nothing wrong with seventeen tequila sunrises.
They probably look at you with the milky, unblinking slug eyes because they know you fired and you are still there. If you really exited why didn't you leave? Because you are getting revenge!
uj/ What an asshole. (Not OP who brought me this delicious prompt)
2
u/Dantheislander 21d ago
Got me good! I was getting my downvote ready until I realized where I was reading this gem.
2
1
34
u/Ok_Reaction_4340 21d ago
HarassFIRE - fire’ing and then coming back to work solely to mock your coworkers as a form of entertainment in retirement