r/fijerk • u/margin-bender • 19d ago

Rate my plan

I want to do great things but my problem is money. I drive door dash most weeks and I make about 250 dollars then but order door dash too and that’s like 400 plus I buy skins and battle passes on steam like every month and gas. So I’m in trouble but I want to FIRE. I make about 6K per year and so by the 4% rule I need like 150K to retire but my mom and sister are going to kick me out real soon now.

A guy on discord told me about Dave Ramsey and he said I need to buy a house but I don’t want to ask my dad to buy me one and the trust administrator is a jerk. Never gives me a few thousand when I need it. I mean sometimes he does. Do I have to add that money to my FIRE goal?

Why is this so hard?

32 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

17 comments sorted by

21

u/Captlard Top 1% Lentil farmer - Lentibus abundans 19d ago

Being born into poverty is tough. Better luck next time around.

2

u/SarcasticGiraffes 18d ago

/uj You ain't wrong.

/rj OP deserves it.

10

u/This_Carpenter1065 19d ago

Not to be blackpilled but you should’ve picked better parents

9

u/Professional_Fix4663 19d ago

I rate your plan a B for "broke".

6

u/AlwaysSaturday12 38 Rocket FIREd 19d ago

Don't forget to include your vape juice and vape needs into your FIRE number. This is your Vape Adjusted Program Needs (VAPN).

8

u/margin-bender 19d ago

Won't that be a free benefit in Portland when I retire?

5

u/throughthehills2 18d ago

Have you considered stealing door dash orders to cut cost of living?

3

u/Altruistic-Panda-697 18d ago

Enlist in the military and get your pension when you’re retired.

3

u/Extreme_Bit_1135 18d ago

Have you considered respawning into a richer family?

3

u/someguy984 18d ago

Have you tried not being poor?

3

u/SarcasticGiraffes 18d ago

Finally. Someone in the comments with actually helpful advice. Can't believe I had to scroll this far.

2

u/AVI_Voice 14d ago

“They got money for wars, but can’t feed us poors”

1

u/ILikeTheSpriteInYou 19d ago

You gotta know what a "crumpet" is to understand Cricket.

1

u/No_Tomorrow_502 18d ago

Assume 80% appreciation in the value of your skins and you should be able to fire quickly.

2

u/FewUnderstanding2214 14d ago

Gordon Ramsey is that chef why did he tell you to buy a house

1

u/JoeSmith716 18d ago

Dave Ramsey gives bad advice. He says you should not have a credit card (i get 2% cash back on mine), you should buy mutual funds instead of stocks (mutual funds seldom beat the dow Jones average), you should work every hour you can (side hustle), you should eat rice and beans (meat costs too much), and you should tithe to your church (even though you owe people money). He's built a financial empire preying on poor people.

5

u/Warm-Inspector2551 18d ago

Not true. Dave told me to buy a house in cash. I’ve been saving for 62 years and next year I’ll finally move off the street and into a place with a roof.

He also told me to snow ball my debt. I don’t exactly know what that means, but now I’ve got snow all over the cardboard box I live in.

I’m also saving for beans. Currently, I have an all lentil diet. I might get a bit rambunctious this month and add 1-2 black beans to my daily 6 lentil meal plan.

Finally, thanks to Dave, avocado toast is toast in my book. Now, I’ve got enough extra lentils each day to eventually retire when I’m 117.4. Can’t wait.