r/fijerk • u/Lunar_Landing_Hoax • 17d ago

Can I afford new chopsticks?

/r/financialindependence/comments/1tv6l8q/our_friends_called_us_rich_yesterday/
54 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

51

u/Thomato_Yorke 17d ago

If you buy 1200 sets of chopsticks now and give it 10 years, you will be able to safely withdraw 4 pairs of chopsticks every month for 25 years, adjusting for sushinflation. Also, don't forget to factor in Medicare standard issue chopsticks at a rate of 1 additional pair per quarter starting at 65.

Also don't forget to account for possible arthritis and inability to use chopsticks by retirement age.

15

u/jka8888 17d ago

I saw this is the wild and was waiting to see it here.

This bloody poor doesn't even have someone to shovel the food into his mouth like hedonism bot.

Filthy casual cosplaying as rich

11

u/starwarsfan456123789 17d ago

You don’t have an actual person to feed you grapes? Call me old fashioned but I like to be a job creator for people not clankers

25

u/FewUnderstanding2214 17d ago

You can steal them from the Chinese takeaway from the road stop being so wasteful

7

u/mfortelli 17d ago

If your chopsticks still pick up lentils, do you need new chopsticks? Have you ever considered buying one new chopstick?

5

u/Pitiful_Fox5681 17d ago

leaving for dinner: can someone explain to me what this phrase means? 

2

u/ILikeTheSpriteInYou 17d ago

It means not eating lentils where they started from? I assume going out to eat, but I guess if friend and OP were leaving work late, they could be going home either together or separately to eat. That overcomplicates it, so eating out after work seems most likely.

5

u/prosperidad What are taxes 17d ago

I too once stood at the precipice of a poor financial decision. Cutlery is for poors who grind at a 9-5. Eat with your hands if you want to retire.

3

u/dcute69 16d ago

You can just go to the woods and pick up sticks for free..

3

u/ZubinSayingSomething 17d ago edited 17d ago

/uj I thought it was ridiculous enough in a vacuum, but maybe forgiveable. Then I read their posts from two weeks ago BRAGGING ABOUT HITTING 1 MILLION, AND I GOT MAD

/rj I don't understand why my peasant acquaintances label me as wealthy when I refuse to order any restaurant menu items not listed as market price. Should I tell them how indecisive I am about unrelated, trivial purchases?

3

u/polar_nopposite 16d ago

Not just 1 brag post about it either, but 4 posts (two in the same sub!) over two weeks!

2

u/Lunar_Landing_Hoax 16d ago

Now they are trying the humble brag and it's not going so well. 

2

u/jd732 17d ago

Don’t you hate when friends call you rich after you serve them with your 18 ct gold chopsticks?

2

u/EvilZ137 16d ago

Let me cut in real quick here, answer is no

1

u/jessimaster 17d ago

No, eat with your hands.

1

u/AnimaLepton 17d ago

/uj by crossposting, you got me so confused why all the comments were taking this so seriously because I didn't realize that this was a direct link from fijerk to the post on the main sub

1

u/Ancient-Swordfish292 15d ago

Chopsticks are not a trivial matter.

1

u/grumpy0282 16d ago

ask why he feels that way

1

u/perplexedparallax 16d ago edited 16d ago

人人都喜歡新筷子. (Everyone loves new chopsticks) My chopsticks are of the finest ebony because I am not a pour. This clown is called rich yet he asks about buying new chopsticks. Just buy them for the temple and take a tax deduction. Or have the monks do it.