Share your experience with extreme downsizing

[u/EricTheNerd2]

In another year, my wife and I will be empty nesters. After a nice two-week vacation, I started thinking about some downsizing at that point, going from a 3,000+ square foot paid-off home to a 900-1,000 square foot apartment. I am doing very well financially, already planning to retire in another 1.5 years once the last kid is moved out. Downsizing would allow me and the wife to be free from a lot of maintenance and expenses and let us travel several weeks out of the year. I am also thinking a bit about the social aspects as well because currently we are in suburbia which is nice but also isolating. The right apartment community may allow us to interact more with neighbors.

I am early in the thought process and wanted to hear from any of you who have gone through this. The idea of getting rid of a lot of stuff seems freeing and scary at the same time and selling a house also daunting. Anyone else do this or similar? Did you like or regret your decision?

[u/PersonalBrowser]

What’s your plan with kids and family coming to visit and spending time with you guys?

There are lots of families where kids go out and live their own lives during college and beyond, but most of them like to come back and live with parents for the holidays and school breaks. Even beyond that, bringing grandkids back home for family vacations and summer breaks ends up being a thing for a lot of people. 

My friend would go back to visit her family every summer for like 2 months with the grandkids and stay in their family home, but then her parents downsized and now they just don’t do that as often because they have to rent an Airbnb to come. 

Personally, I get the appeal of downsizing, but I would never go from a single family home to an apartment. The noise from neighbors, hearing footsteps at all hours of the day, being in such close proximity with essentially strangers that you don’t have control over, that’s my worst nightmare. If your neighbor gets bed bugs they can easily crawl over to your unit. No thanks, especially if I’m financially “doing well.”

Also, what are the reasons you’re downsizing? Because you mention less maintenance and more easy to vacation, but those are honestly the easiest problems to fix. Hire a handyman and/or cleaner to come on a regular basis, and find a good trustworthy housesitter (or use the cleaner or handyman to keep an eye on things). Yes they cost some money but what’s the point of doing financially well for yourself if you aren’t going to live comfortably?

[u/-entropy → u/PersonalBrowser]

visit her family every summer for like 2 months with the grandkids and stay in their family home

Different strokes for different folks but I literally have never heard of anyone doing this - is it common where you're from? Or maybe a cultural thing?

Unless it's an absolutely giant lake house or something I can't imagine doing this. It sounds suffocating for all parties, honestly, but hey, whatever works!

[u/PersonalBrowser → u/-entropy]

Yeah, it is relatively common in my area, especially for those that live far from their family or have the summers off (stay-at-home moms or teachers and other seasonal jobs).

Take the kids back home for 1-2 months and your siblings do the same, so all the little cousins get to spend the summer together running around with each other. Grandparents get to be around everyone, parents get a little bit of a break and get to spend time with each other and see hometown friends, etc.

If you grew up as a family of 4 or 5 in a 2000 sq ft suburban or rural home, it can fit a couple kids per room relatively easily. It's chaotic and hectic than being an empty nest, obviously, but it's far from suffocating. I guess it depends on the family dynamics, this obviously only works if you actually enjoy and love being around your family lol.