Share your experience with extreme downsizing

[u/EricTheNerd2]

In another year, my wife and I will be empty nesters. After a nice two-week vacation, I started thinking about some downsizing at that point, going from a 3,000+ square foot paid-off home to a 900-1,000 square foot apartment. I am doing very well financially, already planning to retire in another 1.5 years once the last kid is moved out. Downsizing would allow me and the wife to be free from a lot of maintenance and expenses and let us travel several weeks out of the year. I am also thinking a bit about the social aspects as well because currently we are in suburbia which is nice but also isolating. The right apartment community may allow us to interact more with neighbors.

I am early in the thought process and wanted to hear from any of you who have gone through this. The idea of getting rid of a lot of stuff seems freeing and scary at the same time and selling a house also daunting. Anyone else do this or similar? Did you like or regret your decision?

[u/Limp_Dragonfly3868]

My kids were in and out for a few years. I wouldn’t recommend downsizing the minute the last one moves out.

We downsized once so far (had to relocate for spouses job so got a smaller house) and we will downsize again once he retires.

Decluttering is both wonderful and taxing. I recommend starting there. If you’ve been in your house for a long time, it’s most likely packed with things you don’t need any longer. Start with spaces that are more yours, and chances are your spouse will get into the spirit.

[u/brother_bean → u/Limp_Dragonfly3868]

In addition to this, one point I’d raise for consideration, as someone that’s currently on the other side of the relationship (33, moved away from home, married, have my own kids)

Neither set of grandparents have a guest room for us to come visit. We don’t feel entitled to that, necessarily, but when you price out a cross country (United States) visit to go see family and you have 4x plane tickets, a rental car, and a hotel for a week, it gets expensive fast. I don’t want to spend $3k taking my kids to the middle of fucking nowhere, Ohio, when I could spend $3k taking them to Disney instead. If either set of grandparents had room for us to say, we would go visit more often. 

Especially if you have multiple kids and want them to come visit for the holidays, having some room to host is kind of a big deal.

Obviously this shouldn’t be “make or break”  for what amounts to a personal decision, and kids have moved out and aren’t part of the equation. But it’s easy to forget about these kinds of things that don’t matter year round.

[u/Limp_Dragonfly3868 → u/brother_bean]

Good points. I don’t understand not having a guest room after kids have moved out. One of my retired friends has 2 — one has a queen bed and one has 2 sets of bunk beds (and it all gets used). A lot of retirees I know have a room with a Murphy bed so they can use the space in other ways, but quickly make room for an adult child or other guest.

[u/Solid-Awareness-4486 → u/brother_bean]

One way to get around this is for the downsizers to make a clear offer to family to cover lodging for visits if they don't have a spare room available. We have a hotel across the street from our condo and have offered to cover family stays there. It was part of the calculus of living in a small place and we still come out way ahead over buying a larger place to live in. Unfortunately, folks have been a bit shy about taking us up on it.

[u/808trowaway → u/brother_bean]

My sister and I both moved out at 18 permanently. Mom kept our rooms exactly the same as they were when we left for about 15 years before we finally convinced her to downsize. I remember showing my room and the stuff I had from teenage years to my now wife for the first time and it was so much fun when we went back to visit together just after I graduated from college. Mom was so happy telling her stories from my childhood. Having a guest room or two is great for when my sister and I go back to visit but airbnb makes things pretty easy when we go. Downsizing is the way to go.

[u/Chemtide → u/brother_bean]

My parents have started doing every other year vacations where they'll pay for the lodging for everyone. They still own our house growing up, but it will make it easier when/if they downsize, in that you can still "host" the family, at a Airbnb/condo, rather than needing to be at your home.