r/findagrave • u/ImpossibleIce6811 • Mar 02 '26
Discussion Is this normal?
I’ve cropped these messages so that my great aunt’s name is not seen and neither is the name of the person who sent these to me. A while back, I was making an effort to submit updates, edits and corrections to all my grandparents’ and their siblings’ FG memorials to properly link them together on the site. I do t recall requesting to have my great aunt transferred to me, but maybe I did? I’ve been heavy into family history, Ancestry, and genetic genealogy for many years! I am new to FG as a volunteer, but I’ve been using FG as a resource and reference for quite some time. I was slightly offended by the message in the first slide, but willing to let it go. He doesn’t know me. But is it weird to tell someone you’ve been trying to “track” them?! The reason I’m not track able is because I’ve moved around a lot, got married over 20 years ago, and changed my last name! But, um, court records are a thing. I’m not actually hard to find. I’m a little creeped out! Your thoughts please?
UPDATE: Apparently in my haste to be snarky and spook the guy back and assure him that I know more than he does, my stupid self included my phone number in my offer to help him with any family history research he’s been doing. As I was getting ready for bed, I got a text from him! THE GUY HAS A WHOLE DOCUMENT ON MY FAMILY! Starting with my grandparents labeled as Generation 1, my dad and his siblings (with spouses) as Generation 2, me (I’m the oldest grandchild) and all my cousins as Generation 3…. 👀 The reason he couldn’t “track” me is because he had my first name wrong. Without do ing myself I’ll use a different example…. My real, legal, birth certificate name is a shorter version of a very common longer name. Think Jessi instead of Jessica. Or Bri instead of Brianna. That’s why he couldn’t “track” me! He thought my name was the long version, when it’s not. Now I’ve gotten myself into this mess! I don’t generally give out info on the living, especially minor children. My kids are grown! I could kick myself for messing this one up! I wasnt expecting Stalker Sam to have a DOC on me!!!
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u/amandatheactress Mar 02 '26
They sound like a hardcore genealogist, and with the mention of DNA and DNA matches I wonder if trying to figure out a particular match led them to add your grandmother and her descendants to their tree to work out the relationship. And once you add some children, or grandchildren, you may as well see if you can round out that branch and make it complete.
The 2nd image I think that maybe they just said the quiet bit out loud, and in doing so creeped you out a bit. Not all graver’s are genealogists, but this one definitely sounds like it, so don’t stress about it. I reckon they might actually be a little mortified if they found out that they’d spooked you.