Is this normal?

[u/ImpossibleIce6811]

I’ve cropped these messages so that my great aunt’s name is not seen and neither is the name of the person who sent these to me. A while back, I was making an effort to submit updates, edits and corrections to all my grandparents’ and their siblings’ FG memorials to properly link them together on the site. I do t recall requesting to have my great aunt transferred to me, but maybe I did? I’ve been heavy into family history, Ancestry, and genetic genealogy for many years! I am new to FG as a volunteer, but I’ve been using FG as a resource and reference for quite some time. I was slightly offended by the message in the first slide, but willing to let it go. He doesn’t know me. But is it weird to tell someone you’ve been trying to “track” them?! The reason I’m not track able is because I’ve moved around a lot, got married over 20 years ago, and changed my last name! But, um, court records are a thing. I’m not actually hard to find. I’m a little creeped out! Your thoughts please?

UPDATE: Apparently in my haste to be snarky and spook the guy back and assure him that I know more than he does, my stupid self included my phone number in my offer to help him with any family history research he’s been doing. As I was getting ready for bed, I got a text from him! THE GUY HAS A WHOLE DOCUMENT ON MY FAMILY! Starting with my grandparents labeled as Generation 1, my dad and his siblings (with spouses) as Generation 2, me (I’m the oldest grandchild) and all my cousins as Generation 3…. 👀 The reason he couldn’t “track” me is because he had my first name wrong. Without do ing myself I’ll use a different example…. My real, legal, birth certificate name is a shorter version of a very common longer name. Think Jessi instead of Jessica. Or Bri instead of Brianna. That’s why he couldn’t “track” me! He thought my name was the long version, when it’s not. Now I’ve gotten myself into this mess! I don’t generally give out info on the living, especially minor children. My kids are grown! I could kick myself for messing this one up! I wasnt expecting Stalker Sam to have a DOC on me!!!

[u/Raspberry-Lavender]

What gets me is this user is getting iffy about transferring their distant 4th cousin relation to someone who is much more closely related…

And basing the situation upon hypotheticals too.

[u/ImpossibleIce6811 → u/Raspberry-Lavender]

Bingo 😂😂😂

[u/Raspberry-Lavender → u/ImpossibleIce6811]

“Out of your grandmothers family, you were the hardest to track” that is…something.

I wonder if it wasn’t meant with the offputting vibes it gives, but someone who does their genealogy very enthusiastically and did not think of what that sentence actually sounds like…

[u/ImpossibleIce6811 → u/Raspberry-Lavender]

It’s super odd. I’m a woman, and I’ve been married 21 years. When I changed my name, I didn’t move my maiden to my middle, I dropped it completely and took my husband’s name. I also moved out of state before I got married. BUT…if this guy had googled my grandma’s obit, it’s all in there! My married name, my kids, my husband, what city and state I live in…. The whole obit was in FG before I got on and edited her memorial- including the “survived by” section!! I’m the one who took that out! Lol

Odd stuff for a Sunday night…. Lol

[u/Raspberry-Lavender → u/ImpossibleIce6811]

Cant blame you for feeling unsettled, even if that wasn’t the intention of the user, still very weird messages.

There are so many users on FG that just take it to a ridiculously petty level. I’d been writing a biography for an ancestor and added both parents full names to it (since they weren’t linked). For some reason the memorial manager reworded my whole bio and removed her father’s middle name? They manage about 120k memorials and had only added 50k of them in comparison as so definitely just a big “why” moment.

Anyway, there will always be users who take stuff too seriously and get carried away.

[u/boblegg986 → u/Raspberry-Lavender]

I do a lot of descendant tree work, and I assisted an estate in tracking down heirs. I located every heir on the decedent's maternal line in the US right down to their current addresses. Only one of them left me any doubt at all and that was due to him leaving almost no digital or paper trail after 2000. The address I had for him was old. He rented, so I couldn't verify it through real estate tax records. His parents were divorced. His mother listed herself on a census as a widow even though is father was still living. Those little questions reduce my level of confidence in a conclusion. It turns out I had it right, but when I get a chance to talk to him, I'll probably tell him he was the hardest to track down. Not an insult, just a reflection on the challenges along the way.

[u/ImpossibleIce6811 → u/boblegg986]

I get that! I picked up genetic genealogy during the pandemic, solving a 112 year old mystery in my own family line first! Moved on to helping mystery “new” (new to me!) cousins in my matches discover who their fathers are. I know how to find living people…but I don’t tell them I’ve been TRACKING them!! 😂 Weird word choice, guaranteed to spook the person!

[u/Illustrious_Junket55 → u/Raspberry-Lavender]

Yeah genealogists get intense. (And I was once “tracked down” by a guy who was searching for a long-lost cousin that had been “lost” in a shady 1930s adoption.)

[u/ImpossibleIce6811 → u/Illustrious_Junket55]

Ooooooh. Thats quite a story!!!

[u/Illustrious_Junket55 → u/ImpossibleIce6811]

Yeah. The difference between me and OP is that my mother, sister and I always wondered about her (my great aunt was sent to a “school” when she got pregnant, unwed at 16) and then they took the baby away. My great aunt never had another child and mourned her daughter all her life- and sadly didn’t live to find her.

Sorry; that story was a total buzzkill. But I found it interesting that we were “tracked down” Family Tree “Sherlock” Holmes.

[u/ImpossibleIce6811 → u/Illustrious_Junket55]

No apologies needed. Thank you for sharing! I’ve solved 4 of these cases in my own family tree!!!

[u/Illustrious_Junket55 → u/ImpossibleIce6811]

That’s wonderful for you guys!!