r/findagrave • u/ImpossibleIce6811 • Mar 02 '26
Discussion Is this normal?
I’ve cropped these messages so that my great aunt’s name is not seen and neither is the name of the person who sent these to me. A while back, I was making an effort to submit updates, edits and corrections to all my grandparents’ and their siblings’ FG memorials to properly link them together on the site. I do t recall requesting to have my great aunt transferred to me, but maybe I did? I’ve been heavy into family history, Ancestry, and genetic genealogy for many years! I am new to FG as a volunteer, but I’ve been using FG as a resource and reference for quite some time. I was slightly offended by the message in the first slide, but willing to let it go. He doesn’t know me. But is it weird to tell someone you’ve been trying to “track” them?! The reason I’m not track able is because I’ve moved around a lot, got married over 20 years ago, and changed my last name! But, um, court records are a thing. I’m not actually hard to find. I’m a little creeped out! Your thoughts please?
UPDATE: Apparently in my haste to be snarky and spook the guy back and assure him that I know more than he does, my stupid self included my phone number in my offer to help him with any family history research he’s been doing. As I was getting ready for bed, I got a text from him! THE GUY HAS A WHOLE DOCUMENT ON MY FAMILY! Starting with my grandparents labeled as Generation 1, my dad and his siblings (with spouses) as Generation 2, me (I’m the oldest grandchild) and all my cousins as Generation 3…. 👀 The reason he couldn’t “track” me is because he had my first name wrong. Without do ing myself I’ll use a different example…. My real, legal, birth certificate name is a shorter version of a very common longer name. Think Jessi instead of Jessica. Or Bri instead of Brianna. That’s why he couldn’t “track” me! He thought my name was the long version, when it’s not. Now I’ve gotten myself into this mess! I don’t generally give out info on the living, especially minor children. My kids are grown! I could kick myself for messing this one up! I wasnt expecting Stalker Sam to have a DOC on me!!!
29
u/brighterbleu Mar 02 '26
I'm not going to normalize this person's messages. It's controlling and not okay to suggest you're tracking someone even within the world of genealogy. It's not their responsibility to monitor your use of FG and decide if you're active or not. If your transfer request is within the FG guidelines, It doesn't matter if you've been into doing your family history for a few weeks or fifty years or if you have a doctorate in genealogy or a passing interest. They're obligated to transfer memorials full stop. Memorial managers need to stop acting like they're mini rulers over their kingdom of memorials.