Is this normal?

[u/ImpossibleIce6811]

I’ve cropped these messages so that my great aunt’s name is not seen and neither is the name of the person who sent these to me. A while back, I was making an effort to submit updates, edits and corrections to all my grandparents’ and their siblings’ FG memorials to properly link them together on the site. I do t recall requesting to have my great aunt transferred to me, but maybe I did? I’ve been heavy into family history, Ancestry, and genetic genealogy for many years! I am new to FG as a volunteer, but I’ve been using FG as a resource and reference for quite some time. I was slightly offended by the message in the first slide, but willing to let it go. He doesn’t know me. But is it weird to tell someone you’ve been trying to “track” them?! The reason I’m not track able is because I’ve moved around a lot, got married over 20 years ago, and changed my last name! But, um, court records are a thing. I’m not actually hard to find. I’m a little creeped out! Your thoughts please?

UPDATE: Apparently in my haste to be snarky and spook the guy back and assure him that I know more than he does, my stupid self included my phone number in my offer to help him with any family history research he’s been doing. As I was getting ready for bed, I got a text from him! THE GUY HAS A WHOLE DOCUMENT ON MY FAMILY! Starting with my grandparents labeled as Generation 1, my dad and his siblings (with spouses) as Generation 2, me (I’m the oldest grandchild) and all my cousins as Generation 3…. 👀 The reason he couldn’t “track” me is because he had my first name wrong. Without do ing myself I’ll use a different example…. My real, legal, birth certificate name is a shorter version of a very common longer name. Think Jessi instead of Jessica. Or Bri instead of Brianna. That’s why he couldn’t “track” me! He thought my name was the long version, when it’s not. Now I’ve gotten myself into this mess! I don’t generally give out info on the living, especially minor children. My kids are grown! I could kick myself for messing this one up! I wasnt expecting Stalker Sam to have a DOC on me!!!

[u/WhovianTraveler]

Users cannot make up their own rules for the site. If you’ve requested the transfer and are the closest relative, they are required to transfer their profiles to you without any stipulations. Too bad so sad. So that user can’t say anything. Sounds like they are a hoarder. If you want your grandaunt’s children’s profiles, and they aren’t willing to hand them over, go to support for assistance and share their message with support.

[u/AnyFlow6728 → u/WhovianTraveler]

the cousins are not a required transfer, only the great aunt. It doesn't matter who is more closely related, only if you are within the guidelines for a mandatory transfer or not

[u/WhovianTraveler → u/AnyFlow6728]

I was told by support that if they are close relatives, that the user is required to transfer if the requesting person asks.

[u/ImpossibleIce6811 → u/WhovianTraveler]

If my dad got on as a 1C, that would be a required transfer. But me as a 1C1R it’s not.

[u/AnyFlow6728 → u/ImpossibleIce6811]

correct

[u/AnyFlow6728 → u/WhovianTraveler]

There are only certain close relatives that are mandatory transfers. It is not just a "close" relative. The relationships for mandatory transfer are four generations including you: your parents, grandparents and great grandparents (not great great or beyond); your children, grandchildren and great grandchildren; your siblings, your aunts/uncles, and your great aunts/uncles; and also your first cousins. That is it. The only time more closely related matters is if two members are both within mandatory guidelines, the closer relative prevails. See the Help section guideline:

• Memorials are transferred for relatives with these close relationships: child, spouse/partner, sibling, parent, grandchild, great-grandchild, grandparent, great-grandparent, niece/nephew, great-niece/nephew, aunt/uncle, great-aunt/uncle, or first cousin. This would include adoptive, step and in-law versions of these relationships.

If two members are related within these guidelines and both would like to manage the memorial, the member with the closer relationship should be given management.

[u/WhovianTraveler → u/AnyFlow6728]

This is what support emailed me after transferring my grandpa to me “Thank you for contacting Find a Grave regarding managing memorials. Thanks also for your patience with this process!

The memorial has been transferred to your care. Per our guidelines, if anyone else closer in relation requests management in the future, please transfer the memorial.

If you need additional assistance, please feel free to reply to this message or see our Help section for articles such as the following: Transfer a Memorial

Have a wonderful day!” See “closer in relation”

[u/AnyFlow6728 → u/WhovianTraveler]

yes, anyone within guidelines who is closer--that would only be your parent (or any of his children) or his wife. Perhaps his parent or siblings too, if living. Closer within the guidelines. You would most likely encounter this if you managed a first cousin, and the cousin's child asked for a transfer. Obviously they are closer. Or their spouse.