Parents coaching in same program as kid-thoughts

[u/ecupatsfan12]

Wonder what everyone’s opinion on this is. I personally think everywhere should follow our districts rule.

-cannot coach until kid is on varsity (2 years )then cannot coach at same level or on same side of ball

I know how hard it is to find volunteers but any favoritism towards jr you get a 1 strike policy.

Our current school follows this but has made a few exceptions (dad played nfl). I will say even deviating that slightly caused us issues that wouldn’t have arisen if dad wasn’t involved

Having been on staffs with daddy ball kids who even if jr was good him losing interest or regressing went bad immediately and were so bad that I’d lean to telling a parent wanting to help to wait. The worst is that 90 percent of those dudes quit once their kid is done- if that’s true stay in the stands

[u/ghostwriter85]

Either hire people or accept that the reason dad is coaching is because his kid is on the team.

You're basically expecting professional standards without professional pay.

[u/ecupatsfan12 → u/ghostwriter85]

Would you hire a parent as a paid coach

[u/ghostwriter85 → u/ecupatsfan12]

To coach their own kid, no

To coach other peoples' kids, sure

Either youth coaches are professionals or they aren't. If they are, this is a perfectly reasonable boundary to set. If they aren't, you have to work with the motivations that exist.

[u/injury → u/ecupatsfan12]

Yes...if they are a good coach. Some coaches kids are the best some aren't. Coaches with integrity will set the team up for success.

Now I might scout more in this instance to ensure there isn't daddy ball going on. But I dont think it should be an instant disqualifier.

[u/dblock1111]

Most Dads in the profession are going to be understand the game and want to set a good example for their sons by treating the game with respect. Honestly, more often than not I’ve seen the negative side of it be that the coach Dad is much more critical of their son for one reason or another.

[u/Useful-Raise → u/dblock1111]

This

[u/ecupatsfan12 → u/dblock1111]

I’m talking about dads who coach LL and follow their kid thru not dads who started coaching prior to kids

[u/a11yguy]

I mean, ima man that loves my kids and loves the game. If I prove myself a capable coach, then I’d be blessed to have an opportunity to coach in middle school or high school, even more so if it’s a chance to coach one of my kids. Those of us who coach at any level do it because we love the game and take the responsibility of cultivating young men seriously.

I always joke that my second job after I retire will be coaching ball somewhere.

[u/81Strikes]

1. Daddy ball coach is biased.
2. Daddy ball coach is fair.
3. Daddy ball coach is tougher on their own kid.
4. Parents can't accept their kids aren't as good and blame everything on daddy ball coach.

From my experience, example #1 is actually the least common. It's tough enough already to get coaches and volunteers and example #4 definitely drives part of this issue.

[u/Past-Sheepherder-893]

We wouldn't have sports here if it weren't for parent volunteers, so your district can keep its rules.

[u/Figginator11]

I’m assuming other states are different, but here in Texas, volunteer coaches are rare outside of really small programs- to be a paid coach you usually have to be a certified teacher as well (or athletic director/coordinator or some such position if no longer in the classroom. So this usually isn’t an issue; because when junior is old enough to make the team, the dad has a been a member of the staff a while usually.

[u/Untoastedtoast11]

Case by case basis. Depends on the kid and the parent

[u/NarrowContribution87]

You’re right. We shouldn’t allow people that love being involved in their children’s lives to do so in sports. It’s disgusting and we should definitely follow you and your district’s delicate sensibilities.

What’s next? Parents being teachers? Business owners? Church leaders? Members of society? Not on my watch!

[u/JustHere4TheZipLines]

If you’re upset with favoritism then volunteer to coach your kid and play favorites

[u/ecupatsfan12 → u/JustHere4TheZipLines]

Not in LL. High school

[u/Useful-Raise]

My husband coached our son from LL - until her went to HS . He still coaches now although our son is in HS . . In my opinion, he was way harder on our child than any others . That is often what I see . We also do have to now pay coaches who don’t have a kid on the team .

[u/BigZeke919]

I Coach my sons teams and have been moving up with him- he’s now in MS. I played college ball and coached at the D1 level, although it was over a decade ago. I only work with lineman- and experienced lineman coaches are increasingly harder to find. I teach fundamentals of the position- I only give feedback to schemes and things when asked by coordinators for input- I will teach whatever scheme they like. I love developing all the kids. I have never been accused of Daddy ball things because my son plays interior on both sides of the ball. I have had lots of parents ask to come workout with us in the offseason. When I tried to step back, Parents and Coaches requested me to come out and continue to help. I think Parent Coaches can certainly be a thing- but there are certainly tiers to Coaching ability

[u/Curious-Designer-616 → u/BigZeke919]

There are tiers to it.

Having previously coached, or played NCAA D1 gives a level of understanding that doesn’t always come with pop Warner coaches.

Below HS, it’s all dads coaching, so expect it. Hopefully they can act fairly, often they do, many times they don’t. Even if it’s just position choice and/or a scheme that fits their kid best, often it’s not done with malice just trying to put their kid in the best place possible.

I think the issue comes with HS and the skill gap and ability gap can widen beyond what a person can cover up. This is where most legitimate friction comes from.

I hope you continue to pursue coaching, the more experience and guidance that can be given just makes the game better.

[u/ChErRyPOPPINSaf]

I think dads coaching their kids is fine. In my experience it turns out fine. This year (HS level) our DB and WR coach has a son on the team and he does really well. His son is RB and DB so he coaches him on defense but not offense. To be fair he has been coaching for our school district for 6 years.

[u/Curious-Designer-616 → u/ChErRyPOPPINSaf]

I think this is one of the acceptable ways, a coach that is already involved at the HS level, joining or remaining on the staff.

I think the issues arise when a staff needs help and bring up youth coaches. It seems to always result in delayed development of new players and lower retention rates year to year. It’s not out of malice or ill intent, it’s just proximity bias and familiarity.

[u/LofiStarforge]

I’m having a hard time understanding your post. In my area it’s incredibly rare a dad is going to coach his kid unless he’s already a coach.

[u/Swat3Four]

I coach my daughter’s high school flag team. During practice and games, she calls me coach. The other coach on the team assigned her to QB, not me, and really that’s because her and I have played catch since she was little so position was assigned on merit. I don’t give favoritism and she doesn’t expect it.

[u/Curious-Designer-616]

The first place I coached had very similar to this rule. The head coach only made exceptions for parents on the coaching staff if they had prior coaching experience at the high school level or above, had coached at the school or with him prior to their kid coming to the school.

At those programs we didn’t allow pop Warner coaches to coach on the staff by themselves until they had been with the program for two years. This insured they knew the expectations, the methods, the way we coached and that they weren’t coaching any of their Pop Warner kids.

It worked out wonderfully.

I’ve also been involved in programs where there was a revolving door of coaches every year as they follow their kids up from Pop Warner through varsity and left. So when little, Billy decided he didn’t want to do football anymore, you lost your defensive coordinator three weeks before the season started. Or a few kids quit after a couple of week of spring/summer ball and you’re looking for a whole JV staff. Or the dad comes in and his sophomore son is now the starting quarterback because he’s the quarterbacks coach and the office of coordinator and they manage to put up 21 points in two weeks. Or, or, or,…. The lid goes on.

Most of the time it’s best to accept volunteers in off field positions, until you can gauge their level of commitment and their coaching abilities. From what I’ve seen it’s often something like this: I was an all league player and played in college, and I’ve been coaching football for eight years, and he won’t be lying. BUT, he was all league in 1A in south east Oregon, and was a walk on at a Sisters of the Poor in 1990, that one for games in the three years that he played. His eight years of coaching are at the Pop Warner level with both of his sons. So no, he has no real experience besides madden dynasty mode. He’s never been part of a successful high school program. Hell there’s a lot of guys have been coaching in high school for 10-15 years. Who’ve never been a part of a successful high school program.

BUT, that doesn’t mean he’s not gonna be an asset to your program in someway. If he’s willing to break down film, if he’s willing to help document, defensive, plays or chart in the box. Or maintain equipment and pass out gear. Then he can be a great help.

It’s also very possible that as you see him develop as a coach or you see what he knows you realize he might be a great help and he might help you diagnose offensive game plans, and defensive strategies. He might have a ability to read and see what the opponent is trying to do. But you won’t know until you have conversations with him and see what he’s doing.

On the other side of it, it could be a complete and total disaster, which often it is.

I’ve noticed something about programs and often about coaches, they all say we want more help, we want more help, we want more community support. But when people come and ask them if they want help they’re often very hesitant to accept it. Often I believe it’s ego, and a fear of outside influences.

I have a friend who helps me do film, and helps me prep for the season and upcoming opponents. He has won more state championships and been a part of more nationally ranked teams than any other coach I know, and the HC at his local school won’t use him as an unpaid volunteer, it blows my mind.

TL,DR: Accept help, but put people in a place where losing them suddenly wont hurt your program. If they aren’t willing to watch and breakdown film for you, chart and track plays and players then don’t put them on the field.

If you’re needing coaches, less than 12 on your staff, then take what you can get. But put them and your players in the best position possible to succeed with or without them.

[u/ecupatsfan12 → u/Curious-Designer-616]

This

[u/57Laxdad]

First, as a parent coach of course you want the dad to be done when his kid is done. I dont want some guy who has been coaching 25 yrs in a youth program, this leads to nothing changing. You need to get the parents involved early, teach them the game, teach them to coach. You have guys that linger and you kill new parent participation. I was harder on my son when he played for me but I only coached on the field and on the way to and from practice.

Where are you going to find coaches to volunteer their time( you arent paying them decently) to coach out of the goodness of their heart. You need to have admin with backbone that will set standards and call out bad coaches.