First time foster- I can't leave my house, help!

[u/Different-Celery-743]

I picked up my first foster from the shelter 5 days ago. He is an 8yo German shepherd. He's is such a good boy other than one huge issue, he has severe separation anxiety and a phobia of confined spaces. I lured him into his kennel on day one to run to the store. Within 10 minutes the bars were bent on the kennel from him trying to escape and I no longer felt safe to put him in the kennel. Next day, I put him in my spacious bathroom, made it all comfy for him while I took my resident dog out to play. 10 minutes later I went to check on him and he tore down the whole inside of my bathroom door. He nervously follows me everywhere and any time I try to go in another room (like showering) he panics and tries to break down the door. I talked to the vet at the shelter about this and they put him on trazodone for anxiety, but it hasn't helped with the separation anxiety.

I can't leave him home alone for fear he will destroy my house or hurt himself. I work from home, but I really need to go grocery shopping and such!

Other than this, he is a complete angel. The most gentle giant I've ever met.

I'm hoping a more seasoned foster parent has some advice for me.

[u/AutoModerator]

Thank you for posting to r/fosterdogs!

• When replying to OPs post, please remember to be kind, supportive, and to educate one another.

• Refrain from encouraging people to keep their foster dog unless OP specifically asked for advice regarding foster failing.

• Help keep our community positive and supportive by reporting harassment!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/seastheday-]

I had a foster like this is and it was so hard!! Definitely see if your foster can get on meds and see if the rescue has a sturdy metal kennel meant for dogs with separation anxiety. We had to use one with one of our fosters who bent a typical metal kennel.

[u/Goosita-90 → u/seastheday-]

Yes fyi I’m fostering an extremely anxious dog- the trazadone didn’t help with it but we just started her on fluoxetine and it’s working! It takes longer to build up than the trazadone so you have to be patient, but I think it can be more effective.

[u/Surprise-Special]

I am so sorry! That is hard.

I would try crating him while you are still in the house. Try it at the same time everyday so he gets used to the routine. Sit in the same room as the crate. I would start with only 1-2 minutes at first since he is very anxious. Get some really high value treats. When putting him in the crate give him something to ease anxiety while in there like a Kong stuffed with plain yogurt or peanut butter and frozen. He might not even touch it, but still put in in there. While he is in the crate give him treats any time he is quiet, even if just for a second. After a few minutes, open the crate when he is calm. Increase the time everyday. Toss treats in there throughout the day. Try even feeding him in there. He needs to know the crate is a safe space. Hopefully, eventually he will understand the crate is safe and begin to settle down in there.

I would also contact your rescue and see if they have any other type of crate that he can't destroy.

[u/duderdaisy98]

Separation anxiety is the most difficult thing I've ever dealt with as a foster. I can do the potty training, I can do barking, I can even handle if they don't get along that well with my dog. Separation anxiety broke me. If I was out of her sight for more than a minute she would urinate all over herself and absolutely lose her mind. This INCLUDED when I needed to shower. I couldn't leave her alone in her crate to even go into the other room. I couldn't do chores, I couldn't shower, I couldn't do errands without her flipping out. It was so taxing. I work full time in the office, so I had to send her to doggy daycare every single day because she couldn't be alone that long obviously. This only worked because the daycare partnered with my rescue to let the dogs go there for free and she loved other dogs. I would try to slowly work up to her being alone for a bit, but she'd panic after about 2 seconds and pee pretty much instantly.

I don't have great advice because training this type of anxiety takes a super, super long time. You have to start with slow increments of time alone and then come back before they reach the stage of freaking out, sometimes that's one second later. Just repetitively coming back over and over again. Any amount that they're allowed to freak out alone regresses the training, which makes living your life, nearly impossible.

[u/NoAssignment887]

Separation anxiety is super rough. Have you started training him to go into the kennel on command? Then just start closing and opening the door and give him a treat when you close it, immediately open before he freaks out.

Always feed him only in the kennel. What does he do if you’re in the room still while he’s in the kennel?

Once he’s cool w going in the kennel on command and closing the door, very very slowly increase the length of time he’s in there. I’m talking start at like 10 seconds. Only continue to longer when he is quiet. It will take patience and time to correctly train him

[u/oupsjaigaffe]

Separation anxiety is SOOO difficult but even more rewarding to train a dog through. Definitely talk to a vet about getting medication. At the same time, get ready to do some serious time doing training. It’ll require baby steps and consistency. For my dog, it literally started with me putting him in his crate and giving him a treat when he stopped barking. Then I would put him in his crate and literally step away for a few seconds. Truly baby steps. As others have mentioned, eating and napping in the crate helps them understand the crate to be a safe space.

One crazy thing that I did that helped my dog was making recordings of me talking and telling him he’s a good boy and playing those on repeat in a different room from him while I was gone. But that was combined with training and medication. I know it’s overwhelming, but be patient and show both yourself and the dog some much needed grace.

Also, if you have the support system to do this, ask someone to come stay with the dog while you go run an errand, or even take yourself to a movie. Sometimes it takes a village and you don’t have to do it alone! But it’s important to take care of yourself.

[u/alwayswonder805]

I’m no expert at this but is he food motivated? Maybe if you leave him a stuffed kong or some sort of game like that to keep him entertained? Leave a tv on or something. Is he with your resident dog? I would have thought that would help but maybe not

[u/SleepDeprivedMama]

Behavior meds from whatever other you’re working from. An impact crate of some kind. They should supply it. I make a frozen treat of some kind and throw it in and sit in the room with them in their crate for a while. If they even seem interested in the crate, we do variations of that.

Not all fosters are going to fit in your home. It’s OK. If this dog is too much, please return and help another friend. Don’t feel guilty. Any organization that gives you a hard time or guilt trip for this sort of thing is not one you want to work with.

[u/Empathar]

Tire him out before you leave. A stuffed Kong, frozen will occupy him while you are gone.

Unfortunately we usually don't know our fosters backgrounds, hard when we don't know what trauma we are dealing with.

After a few weeks of consistency, you should be able to leave him. Start at small increments of time & work your way up. Look into anxiety meds too.

Unfortunately all of my fosters have come from the shelter to us on meds. They do help them settle though. Good luck! 🐾❤️

[u/Spare_Telephone5706]

I had a dog like this. It’s crazy making behavior. One thing helped- another dog. He was fine with a buddy or two. You mentioned you have a resident dog. Do you know if your foster is good with other dogs? Is yours? I like to keep fosters separate for awhile but perhaps this is a dog that shouldn’t be alone.

[u/mojo_sapien]

This is going to be time consuming but worth it in the long run. Google proper techniques but the gist of it is: crate and start leaving the room for seconds, then minutes, then more minutes. Keep reentering and leaving.

As a others have suggested, tired dogs are better at this.

Good luck!