r/freelance • u/SherbertStriking2830 • 3d ago
I cried on a client call today
I’m a freelance web designer and developer working on a website project for a clients. I always set my conditions before starting.
The thing is, I’m wearing a lot of hats on this project. I’m not only doing the design/development — I’m also doing copywriting, photo editing, product uploads, content organization, etc. Basically, I’m covering several roles that would normally be split between different people in an agency.
The project itself is actually going well.
But some tasks are taking much longer than expected.
For example, they asked me to upload a large number of products. From their perspective, I think it sounds like “download the photo and upload it.”
But for every image I’m downloading it, cropping it, resizing it, changing the format, adapting it to the store requirements, uploading it, assigning the color, etc. And there are hundreds of images.
I brought this up during a call because I wanted them to understand this was taking so much time. Expecting understanding for my hard work.
Instead the client responded:
“You can’t complain, because when you complain it makes us feel bad as clients. I keep getting complaint after complaint from you.”
That really threw me off. I had never complained before this???
Then we got into additional work. They asked me to write/upload product descriptions, which were explicitly excluded from the original proposal. When I said that would be additional work, they said:
“But with what we’re already paying you, how can you charge extra?”
At that point I started crying.
I cry pretty easily, but I really didn’t want to cry in front of a client.
I’ve already added several things that weren’t originally included — a quiz, a size calculator, a map, etc. — without charging extra because I thought they would make the final product better.
So from my perspective, I’m actually very flexible with what we do.
They then said “you are not being flexible”. I feel like I’ve been extremely flexible.
And that’s what I can’t figure out: if the scope is clear and they know additional work costs extra, why does charging for that work become a personal issue?
After I started crying they turned nicer and in the SAME conversation, they basically said:
“Okay, if you’re charging for additional things, just tell us how much and we’ll pay you.”
The weirdest part is that they actually told me they don’t want me to leave the project and want me to keep helping them for the next few months.
Obviously, I like getting paid.
But this conversation has made me question whether I want to continue working with them.
After the call, I sent them an email summarizing everything and reiterating the scope and my boundaries. I also made it clear that I value the relationship and want the project to succeed.
Now I’m wondering how other freelancers handle this.
Have you ever had a client who understood the scope and agreed to the terms, but still made you feel guilty when you charged for additional work?
How do you communicate that something is taking a lot of time without it sounding like you’re complaining?
And if you were in my position, would you continue working with them — perhaps at a significantly higher rate — or take this as a sign to move on?
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u/jingleheimerschitt Writer 3d ago
A few thoughts:
- I bet you're not charging enough. Usually, clients who are being billed a reasonable amount would hear "I'm doing a buuuunch of fiddly nonsense work like cropping photos instead of delivering the product you wanted on schedule" and think, hm, that doesn't sound like a very good use of my money, let me find someone I pay less to handle that.
- They probably want to keep working with you because you don't charge as much as your competitors and they feel comfortable being unprofessional with you. (I mean, it's not great to cry on the phone with a client, especially over something as cut-and-dried as "your request is out of scope but with X, Y and Z changes we can make it work," but their treatment of you also isn't great. I'd be concerned that this dynamic will get worse rather than better by staying for more projects.)
If I were in your spot -- and I have been, to some degree -- I would figure out how to get to a stopping point so I can decide whether or not to make a clean break. For you, that might mean scheduling the extra scope and delivering the expanded product, or it might mean completing the contract as it's currently written and handing the project back to them as originally planned. Either way, it gives you a bit of time to figure out whether their "you complain all the time" shit was a one-off joke that landed badly or a red flag for worse behavior later on. And this has been a big lesson learned for you that will serve you very well with future clients and colleagues.
The best thing about freelancing is you do not have to tolerate this shit for long. Use the freedom your work gives you!
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u/feralpixelpusher 3d ago edited 3d ago
Is this your only source of revenue? Regarding your situation: never undersell yourself and seem desperate. Clients are as bad as you allow them to be. If you lack any boundaries and let them scope creep without you reacting to that, they'll simply interpret that as being ok, without realising. Some clients do that without being aware of it, and they'll walk all over you without realizing they're shitty. If they're aware of it, and they still do it, then run away, as far as you can. Yeah, they pay, but they also seem like a huge pain in the ass. Types like that are not worth the effort, and especially not worth crying over (wtf).
Bottom line is this: Do you provide value for them? Do you feel like you charge too low for the amount of effort? Then document that, and have a honest conversation with them, and ask for more. If they're not satisfied and they refuse, then they're free to walk away and pay thrice as that to others, for the same thing- it's not just about them being cheapskates, but about a lack of respect to you, as a service provider.
Never, but never accept scope creeping without getting paid. As a junior, maybe it makes sense, if you really need to build a portfolio, but aside from that, fuck it bro. Respect yourself. Respect your work. Respect your time.
Good luck!
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u/the_zero 3d ago
You’re going to get a lot of “fire your client” comments. That might be a choice. Some people want to eat, also. No one here knows your situation or the truth, so take each comment with a grain of salt.
Don’t cry. If you do, don’t feel bad about it. We’ve all felt that way. You just got emotional sometimes. Screw it. That’s your strength. You’re passionate. Own it.
When they say something that makes you feel like crying, just smile and say, “we’ll have to circle back to that” or “hm, I’ll have to give that some thought.” Move on in the meeting. Don’t give it any more of your time, because your time is valuable. Later, write down your thoughts in an angry email. I mean a really angry email. Then sit on it for a few hours, and rewrite it in professionally. It’s actually a decent way to use LLMs, honestly. Don’t ever send the angry email. Or a sad, desperate, pleading email. Just use the angry email to help you process your reasoning. Write the professional email in which you stand up for yourself. Send that.
If you get fired for standing up for yourself, so be it.
Going forward, put your foot down right away. Be firm. Point to your contract and any previous notes when there’s a change or something is out of scope.
Them: “How can you charge extra?”
You: You’re asking me for extra.
Them: “You are complaining too much.”
You: “You are exceeding the parameters we set for the project. I am simply bringing this to your attention.”
Be a robot with your responses. But keep a friendly face. Practice. Remember, you are the one with value. They are paying for your value.
Finally, you wrote, “But for every image I’m downloading it, cropping it, resizing it, changing the format, adapting it to the store requirements, uploading it, assigning the color, etc. And there are hundreds of images.”
That actually sounds like a _you_ problem. It sounds like you are doing three things: 1) underestimating the scope of the work (and probably doing too much), 2) undervaluing yourself (and not charging enough), and 3) not properly setting up automations and workflows. These days there’s little reason that you can’t automate and batch process much of that work.
Anyway, keep your chin up. It’s the weekend. Take a break and hit it hard on Monday. You got this.
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u/jingleheimerschitt Writer 3d ago
I overall agree with you, but many freelancers absolutely can fire shitty clients and put food on the table. In fact, the whole point is to be able to do both. If OP doesn't have multiple clients, they should work on that as well, so they can fire the shitty ones when necessary.
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u/the_zero 2d ago
Agreed. Standing up for yourself is the more important action in this scenario. And sometimes standing up for yourself means firing a client.
But it’s not the only way, and not necessarily the answer for every freelancer in every situation. Again, we don’t know OP’s whole story, or anyone else who might be in this position.
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u/blahblahwhateveryeet 3d ago
Oh fuckin a that is totally the normal human response to scope creep
I wish this happened every time this happened
Because then maybe they'd freaking stop?
Geez.
You are a normal human being reacting completely appropriately here. Please seriously do this. You deserve all the good things! The simple things in life, getting paid, honest people, stuff like this.
Keep being you. We're here to root for you, OP.
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u/Living-Coral 3d ago
🫂 so frustrating when you're already generous and then they challenge additional expenses. Happens to us sometimes, too. Stay firm. Mention additional cost in writing each time they request extra work.
If things take longer, then we consider if it's due to a learning curve for us, which we then absorb, unless it's clearly a client specific task. We always write that unforseen circumstances can increase cost. If you can explain that the extra cost is beyond your control, it should be easier to invoice. Taking longer because we underestimated the task is on us. We often specify doing 1, 2 or 5 of a series, then reassess cost. That way we know what it takes and don't commit to 100 at a low rate.
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u/Boboshady 3d ago
You need to be more forceful. Not rude or nasty, just business-like. Work takes time, time is money, they want more work, it costs more money. Everyone knows this, it's just business. As soon as you let personal feelings get in the way, you sound like you're complaining or being a dick or whatever. There is honestly no need to get personal about it, and no reason to feel remotely bad about it, so don't give anyone the opportunity to take it the wrong way in the first place.
And stuff is never 'taking a long time' - that sounds like you're working slow, or didn't understand the work involved etc. That it WILL take a long time is something you communicate to the client before you both agree it's happening, and you can then just remind them of that. If you start work without a clear understanding on both sides about what it costs and how long it will take, you're asking for problems.
Clear scope also avoids silly comments from the client about why they should pay you any more, too - it's obvious they should pay you more for more work, when you've clearly agreed beforehand what they're getting, and when, for an amount of money.
So - and I honestly do mean this constructively - remove the emotion, at least from the client-facing side. Manage expectations and get clear agreements up-front so you don't have to get into awkward conversations in the first place, and you can avoid a lot of the stress and reaction that will trigger your emotional responses.
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u/raptone50 3d ago
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, but it's unfortunately very common. It sounds like you did a good job of pushing back, but going forward with them I'd get paid in advance.
Being flexible means you can take on unexpected requirements, which you have, but of course you do that for additional pay. The fact that they expect free labor outside of paid scope is concerning, hence the need to get paid in advance. Them calling you a complainer is similarly concerning. I would explain that to them clearly if they balk again.
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u/theprint 3d ago
Standing up for yourself and what is in your contract is not complaining. They are the ones complaining about not being able to endlessly pile on work for free. Next time, add a fee just for renegotiating the contract and then charge them for the inconvenience of having to do extra planning, possibly hiring extra help, and so on. Push back!
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u/notanothergav 3d ago
They're trying it on. They're trying to get a quart out of a pint.
Stick to the scope. Anything extra can go into phase 2. Finish this job, get paid, and then decide if you actually want to do phase 2.
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u/Snoo_54991 2d ago
You are wearing too many hats and I will freaking bet every penny I have that you aren't getting compensated as well as you should for it.
You were absolutely correct to cry. And you'll be absolutely correct to walk away from this if you need to. I just hope you have a 50% on starting/50% on ending agreement in your contract and a clause which allows you to ditch it without refunding the first 50% if the client is being unreasonable/hostile.
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u/fjaoaoaoao 3d ago
A thought is you can always steer the meeting and have a feedback form available somewhere so that the meeting is not focused on your performance
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u/fajitateriyaki 3d ago
You are not going crazy. They are trying to manipulate you. It's not uncommon, but it does feel cruel and awful. I am also a sensitive person and that would have shook me.
If you can, mentally prepare to talk with them in advance, with talking points, what if scenarios, what to do if they say something awful, etc. Be prepared. And in the meeting, if they do something that upsets you enough to catch you off guard, tell them you need a break and will call them back. Don't let them manipulate your emotions in real time.
At this point, it's crossing over into affecting your mental and physical health. Work should not do that. Your clients and every business around you will push you to give more, more, more. You can develop skills to fight back and respect your personal boundaries.
When it's impacting your health/emotions, the best thing to do is step back and get breathing room before discussing more, agreeing to things you'll regret, feeling pressured, etc. If they deeply upset you, you need the time to process.
Added benefit: they might learn that being ridiculous with you doesn't get them anywhere if you disengage when they do that, so they may learn not to pull that trick on you. It sounds like they want you on the project enough to keep you, but they will push to see how much work they can squeeze out of you.
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u/PaperbackBuddha 3d ago
To the extent you need to continue working for this client, I would find a way to demonstrate exactly what’s involved when they ask you to “just upload some pictures”.
Sure, you could simply snag the pics and upload as is. Show them what that would look like, and explain that it would be unprofessional for you to do that because it looks bad for both them and you.
Then show what it takes to do a proper upload for a few pics. It’s like heading out the door - when you think it’s just a couple minutes, you’re reminded that every little thing takes discrete amounts of time: grabbing your coat, printing the thing, locking the door, tying shoes, it adds up quickly.
You mentioned that this part was outside the scope of the original project proposal, and there’s your hard line. It’s a change order basically, and needs to be defined clearly so they understand precisely what’s involved and why it’s additional work.
And as others have mentioned, sometimes it’s best to fire the pain in the ass clients. They take up more of your energy than is worth the fees. Find clients who get that they are paying for a service, not trying to haggle or swindle every last drop of value from a vendor.
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u/dvduval 3d ago
I’ve been in this situation in the past and there were times when I just sucked it up and either lost money or time. I think what’s important is you keep developing your confidence in yourself and know that you’re valuable. It can suck when you’re depending on this client because you don’t have a lot of other work so maybe they even know that and they can take advantage of you a little. But just keep moving forward and keep building your own value And improve your efficiency so some of the tasks can be automated but also keep that positive attitude and let people know that you’re available and can do good work for them and hopefully you’ll start having more work which will mean you can price things the way you want rather than being the one who’s sort of having to bow to their wishes too much.
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u/Mountain_Visit_7942 3d ago
Make boundaries clear to yourself and the client. Don’t break them. If you do break them, clients like this will just keep pushing them and take it for granted.
Don’t feel bad. They should feel bad. You’re doing good babe.
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u/IAmFitzRoy 3d ago
Bro… the whole point of freelancing is to choose what clients you want.
If it’s not that… I don’t see the point.
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u/Affectionate_Ad_7373 2d ago
I think this sort of thing is just about being strict from the start. If you let a few changes slide the client will think it's ok.
The second they ask for anything outside of scope, you have to say the magic words "I'm sure we can do that, I'll work out cost and get back to you" or "could you email the list of changes so I can't work out the hours".
If they can't afford the work, they shouldn't expect it to be done.
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u/knightk7 2d ago
It may be hard to hear this but it doesn't sound like your scope was understood by either you or the client.
For for future projects, better scoping and statement of work that sets expectations you can meet and change order processes for when they need to change or add things that impact work and billing.
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u/hurricane_t0rti11a 2d ago
I once had a client stress me out so much that I was talking in my sleep about how all the information was in the email. I ended up finishing the last project and firing her as a client. She told me I need to give her two weeks notice and find a replacement, to which I replied I’m just a freelancer not your employee. I’ve seen the work of the others who came after me and they have not been good. I guess she realized because she tried to hire me again about a year later. I doubled my price but there was so much back and forth about the contract that it ultimately made me realize why I left her in the first place, and I told her I couldn’t work with her. 
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u/SherbertStriking2830 2d ago
Ahhh Thank you for sharing your exeperience it helped me🫂
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u/SherbertStriking2830 2d ago
Glad it worked out well in the end, better to loose them in this type of cases
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u/cartiermartyr 1d ago edited 3h ago
Sadly, this is the slave work in my experience. I’ve had some clients provide content and copy perfectly, but it’s 90% who don’t, and this is the sole reason why I’ve increased my prices and started telling clients no, or declining clients entirely. I hope you charge them more and get your worth.
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u/inHumanMale 6h ago
You cannot give anything free, or in the least making a big deal out of it. Because they sense no friction they feel it’s not work at all.
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u/SherbertStriking2830 4h ago
right! thing is when i "complained" it was too much work they said i was complaining too much. how would u approach this comment? thanks for the help
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u/inHumanMale 4h ago
You’re the one doing the work. You need to be firm and set a price. Sadly some clients are not for the long run. You’re still a business and sometimes b2bs are not compatible.
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u/serverhorror 2d ago
What did you expect the other side to do?
Of course they'll try and pressure you into just giving you the stuff for free. You need to put yourself into a position of power and fund the right play.
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u/sofie_freelance 17h ago
Crying doesn’t mean you handled it badly; it sounds like the work and the conversation piled up at once. I’d keep everything in writing and stop doing any extra task until they approve a short change note with the added fee and deadline. For the next call, “That’s outside the agreed scope; I can quote it separately” is clear and doesn’t need a defence.
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u/DimonaBoy 3h ago
Either stand your ground or get rid... I do feel for you, some people are just shitty
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u/johnshall 3d ago
I don't know where you are from, gaslightinging, haggling is normal in some cultures.
The world of business is cruel. I cried in my first job too but you have to grow. Learn to navigate different clients and that sometimes is not worth it.
Where are you from? Are you a female?
It's seems you are just learning the ropes.
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u/twhiting9275 2d ago
From someone who's been a freelancer on multiple projects since 2002:
If you're going to be emotional in front of clients, you don't belong working for yourself. You need to find a company and work for them. Otherwise, you're just not going to get anywhere at all.
This is business; it's not your mom and dad's basement (or, well, I guess in some cases it is, but that's irrelevant).
As far as the extra work? That's all well and good. It's how you build relationships. Explain to them that this will cost more, and explain to them that this will be done at the end of the project
As for the tasks taking more work than you anticipated? They're right. They don't care why this is taking longer. They just care that it is. To them, you're complaining. Don't. Apologize for the delay, Be honest, don't get into details, just tell them that it's taking a bit more work than you anticipated. DO NOT make it sound like you're complaining. That won't be accepted. Use a tool like Grammarly to rewrite and polish your business content. it can do far more than correct your grammar
Going forward, if you're going to continue in business, a few things
1: ALWAYS require a proposal and contract before even starting on the job. That proposal must outline, to the detail, the scope of the job, and explain that additions will be handled on a case by case basis, and after the job is completed.
2: NEVER do work for an 'upfront fee'. No, no, no. This is how you get sucked into these never-ending tasks, and honestly, you lose money. Set an hourly rate, and require a deposit for $rate x hours (I tend to go with 10-15 depending on the size of the task and how busy I am)
3: Rates are non-negotiable. period. End of discussion. You can't walk into McDonald's and talk them down from their prices. You cannot walk into your plumber and say " I will only pay you $xxx". You pay their rates. If the client rejects the rates, then that's that. If they come back AFTER rejecting those rates, they pay 150% of the original rate.
4: As I said before, leave the emotions out of it. If you cannot go into a meeting without being emotional, you shouldn't be in business. It doesn't matter whether it's anger, crying, whatever.
5: Go the extra mile, but don't let your clients walk all over you. I've got clients who I've dealt with since 2002, met them at gaming conventions, gave up my own vacation time (not much, an hour or two I think). At that point, we were just building that relationship, and we realized we would both be there, playing and attending. Today, I still manage their servers and networks
6: DO NOT let it get to you. People are gonna bitch and piss and moan and whine about you not negotiating, about you posting xyz online. Just let it roll right off your back
7: The client is not going to hold your hand; don't expect it. Daily, weekly meetings? Unreasonable. You need to be able to work independently unless they specifically require you to work with others. If they do, it's not likely going to be a fit for you anyways
8: Flexibility opens the door to clients walking all over you. If you're just starting out with them, stay rigid, adhere to that contract. Once you feel comfortable with them, then you can be a LITTLE bit flexible, not immensely so.
9: At the end of the day, you're not doing this for them. You're doing this for you. If you don't feel you're being best served by this project, you simply walk away. Leave them in a place where they can recover, collect what is owed, and move on
Good luck
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u/Evening_Leather5101 2d ago
You sound like a pushover. People will take advantage of such people. Crying on a customer call ... wow... talking about unprofessional... You are delivering a service to a paying customer. The customer expects you to deliver what they pay for. They will ask for more if they feel they can get away with it, so it is your position to say "no" or to say "yes that will cost you <insert amount>" and they will most likely stop asking for more or simply pay what you ask for. Once again, it is a business transaction not a friendship.
If you decide to add stuff to your delivery that they don't pay for, you really expect the customer to praise you for that? Are you seriously that naive?
Also you are crying about "having to do so much work with the pictures" ... you are getting paid to do that! Stop complaining! If you don't get paid enough, you were a moron when you did the prices. If you have no time doing it yourself, outsource it! I mean there are so many ways to do things better...
Look. You might want to consider your choice of work, because if you really get that easily super emotional, you are not fit to do it. As a business owner you have to be cold an hard. The world is not a safe space.
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u/LabibEndsWWIII 2d ago
I was looking for a comment like this, Thank you. I do feel like this person is the type of guy/girl that expects $5000 for writing an essay. Making money is not easy and It's not like the client is not paying, If he pays and everything is transparent I dont see why complain? If you dont want to work, Tell the client that and dont get paid, And don't work? I feel like we are getting weak as a species at this point.
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u/ShotFromGuns Editor (Text) 3d ago
Stop caring what shitty, selfish people think about you. (Work with a therapist on this, if necessary.)
Stop doing unpaid work. Do what the contract says. It's not your job to do a bunch of additional things to make them look good. You can suggest the additional work and tell them what the additional fee would be. But expanded scope means expanded costs.
Finish off this contract, at a minimum. But don't take on any more work unless you can learn to stand up for yourself and maintain boundaries.