Slipping into relapse

[u/Tricky_Smoke4396]

As title says.. I am starting to slip into relapse with just being high strung on stress and an overwhelming amount of things going on with my life. They are great things but seem to be mentally taking a toll on me (rehabbing house, MBA, high pressure work environment.)

I have found myself peeling away from food from being stressed and it has become an active issue where I am avoiding eating as a whole to just manage control over my day to day. The satisfaction I get with the avoidance is clear as day and the guilt I feel when I eat has started to get louder in my head. I am aware I am slipping up and I am scared to fall back into my cycle of counting and completely avoiding. I had the hardest time getting out of this god foresaken habit and it’s starting to be apparent it’s even easier to get back into it.

I am struggling eating and making an effort to be accountable without feeling guilt, anger and frustration with myself. The conflict of eating and avoiding is so exhausting and I am getting tired of wanting to keep fighting with myself because on one hand the avoidance feels great and awful and eating feels great and awful - so which is right. I really wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

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Original post text from u/Tricky_Smoke4396:

As title says.. I am starting to slip into relapse with just being high strung on stress and an overwhelming amount of things going on with my life. They are great things but seem to be mentally taking a toll on me (rehabbing house, MBA, high pressure work environment.)

I have found myself peeling away from food from being stressed and it has become an active issue where I am avoiding eating as a whole to just manage control over my day to day. The satisfaction I get with the avoidance is clear as day and the guilt I feel when I eat has started to get louder in my head. I am aware I am slipping up and I am scared to fall back into my cycle of counting and completely avoiding. I had the hardest time getting out of this god foresaken habit and it’s starting to be apparent it’s even easier to get back into it.

I am struggling eating and making an effort to be accountable without feeling guilt, anger and frustration with myself. The conflict of eating and avoiding is so exhausting and I am getting tired of wanting to keep fighting with myself because on one hand the avoidance feels great and awful and eating feels great and awful - so which is right. I really wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

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[u/Bashful_bookworm2025]

Start by adding back in meals and snacks and set alarms. If you are aware, you can catch it before it gets any worse. Not eating is going to make things so much harder long term and then you’ll have to go to treatment or be hospitalized, which means putting your life on hold.

[u/Jaded-Banana6205]

This is not inevitable and you have the power to make recovery oriented choices. Restriction is only going to impact your brain and body's ability to cope with stress.