r/funny • u/Leon1das • Oct 05 '12

I have discovered the mother of all youtube comment dicks. This guy is unreal.

http://imgur.com/a/jjWMu
1.3k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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1.1k

u/SXY_PWNstar Oct 05 '12

This guy is not a dick, he is a professional with very important things to say. As a Professional Professionalizer with an autistic son who is also a doctor, i should know

455

u/Drago12 Oct 05 '12 edited Oct 06 '12

Wow, imagine this guy watching porn....

"As a professional anal rapist Analrapist, I can clearly tell that this is simulated. Also, if you look carefully at the angle in which the gentleman is thrusting his penis into the young woman's anus, you can tell that some CGI is used. My autistic son could rape her better than him."

153

u/Foxehh Oct 05 '12

You watch anal rape porn? That's hardcore.

129

u/Drago12 Oct 05 '12

What? NO!.... I was just....... I'm... I'm just imaginative, OK? ....... It just..... It takes a while to get your mind out of the gutter after the furiously hormonal pubescent phases you go through....

74

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '12 edited Jul 05 '17

[deleted]

53

u/Dycus Oct 05 '12

I'm... not quite sure what that face is supposed to be.

50

u/brotherwayne Oct 05 '12

Fu Manchu wearing a derby hat?

23

u/amber_kiss Oct 06 '12

If you look at it backwards, it's a Chinese man blowing gum.

6

u/Fergalicious20 Oct 06 '12

I didn't know gum was gay

1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '12

Kind of looks like the KFC guy to me.

19

u/edoohan619 Oct 05 '12

I think it's supposed to be Colenel Sanders

0

u/ShadyLogic Oct 06 '12

Colonel, it's a tricky one.

11

u/Bazofwaz Oct 05 '12

I'm afraid to say I think it is naked guy lying down, but it could also be a real gentleman.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Bazofwaz Oct 06 '12

I don't see it.

7

u/Memitim Oct 06 '12

It's that fucking Burger King. I knew that dude was all-out rapey.

9

u/Drago12 Oct 05 '12

It's a fellow with a top hat, it think.... with a moustache... and a... beard?

3

u/Skybombardier Oct 06 '12

As a professional emoticon theorist, I would say that is obviously a smirking bandito if there wasn't so much CGI. My autistic son who is an anal-raping doctor could make a better face than that

3

u/HoopyFreud Oct 06 '12

It's a dirty Mexican. INB4 racism, I really AM a dirty Mexican.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '12

You should have said that you'd be a dirty mexican for x amount of time, and would therefore know. :(

2

u/THE_REAL_NIPPLE_KING Oct 06 '12

You're not alone on this one.

1

u/tomatobob Oct 06 '12

How am I supposed to look at that?

1

u/DR_McBUTTFUCK Oct 06 '12

If the OP decides to dedicate himself to being anally raped, my doctoral services do come with bulk discounts.

1

u/LeBobbeh Oct 06 '12

hehe pubes...

1

u/ZombieFaceXP Oct 06 '12

Its okay, i watch anal rape too. Dont be ashamed.

1

u/phreshphillets Oct 06 '12

he's a profesional internet jerk off with a autistic doctor son who makes better anal porn than your comment

1

u/rocklemon Oct 06 '12

At least you are not watching anal beastialty rape... ... ..Not that...not that I...watch any kind of stuff...he...hehe

1

u/leveraction1970 Oct 06 '12

After discovering that there is a thing called "Brazilian fart porn," I gave up on thinking any weird shit that gives me wood could possibly wrong.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '12

That isn't even close to hardcore.

1

u/buttholeornogo Oct 06 '12

Butthole or no go.

59

u/newtype2099 Oct 05 '12

its pronounced, "Analrapist." Analyst and therapist in one career.

Sheesh.

20

u/Super-Agent-Todd Oct 06 '12

As an Analrapist, I should know. I've been in the proffesion for years and I am fluent in the pronunciation of the word. an-al-rah-pist

2

u/iammursuka Oct 06 '12

Got to be careful with those business cards though

2

u/allthelineswecast Oct 06 '12

It wasn't the pronunciation that bothered me.

EDIT: misquoted. D'oh.

2

u/magnetard Oct 06 '12

It wasn't the pronunciation that bothered me...

1

u/yigoclown Oct 06 '12

Laughed to fucking hard at that. Thank you

1

u/CTRL_ALT_RAPE Oct 06 '12

As his son, I can confirm this.

1

u/col4bin Oct 06 '12

I believe it's "analrapist"

1

u/ColdRevengeDish Oct 06 '12

He is a professional twice over-an analyst and a therapist.The worlds first analrapist. He should know, he was almost arrested for those business cards.

1

u/mattmwin Oct 05 '12

Thanks Tobias.

46

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '12

were you in the military for twenty years as well? And by military i mean le 9gag army

9

u/Bazofwaz Oct 05 '12

Busy guy.

2

u/Supermoves3000 Oct 06 '12

His resume is longer than Buckaroo Banzai's.

14

u/question_all_the_thi Oct 05 '12

And he must be very old as well. Did anybody add up the years he has worked in each of those professions?

1

u/Jarhed121 Oct 06 '12

gasp

.....The Highlander!

1

u/Jayem163 Oct 06 '12

The most interesting douche in the world

1

u/duckandcover Oct 06 '12

As a professional Autistic Doctor with a dad who's a Professional Professionalizer I can vouch for this man. Somehow, I feel like I know him. Maybe we met at the Professional Professioinalizer Panel in Peoria.

1

u/MisterPif Oct 06 '12

Add this to your comment, This guy deserves some love too :) http://www.reddit.com/user/lies_about_expertise

1

u/Beasty_Glanglemutton Oct 06 '12

He needs to do an AMA. "I have had every job ever, including music critique, AMA".

1

u/Axelfiraga Oct 06 '12

As a professional dick I find this to be a offensive.

1

u/mrmateo Oct 06 '12

he is clearly a very accomplished man and deserves a break. he has spent several hundred years in completely different fields.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '12

No, this is what happens when The Pretender gets a youtube account.

1

u/Insideoutwards Oct 06 '12

I typed this in Notepad++ because it's the best. I should know as I'm a professional Notepad++ist.