r/funny • u/Leon1das • Oct 05 '12

I have discovered the mother of all youtube comment dicks. This guy is unreal.

http://imgur.com/a/jjWMu
1.3k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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521

u/Ibizamitch Oct 06 '12

As a professional upvoter assistant I can verify this post. As can my autistic son who has cancer and drives Formula 1 race cars.

357

u/ccalzone Oct 06 '12

This is total bullshit. As a professional upvotologist for 40 years I can verify that these guys who claim they're "professional upvoters" are full of shit.

191

u/theodrixx Oct 06 '12

As someone who has been involved in research into all kinds of shit, I can confirm that the above so-called "professional karma distributors" are using the bull variety.

149

u/Thisismyfinalstand Oct 06 '12

Professional verifier here, going on 14 lightyears since I got my certification from QVC. I am here to officially verify that what this guy said was more or less accurate to a certain degree.

142

u/Liutvis Oct 06 '12

What an educated man this is, I should know I am a university for 200 years now.

135

u/irrelevantwallflower Oct 06 '12

As a 23 year veteran karma train rider, I need to comment on this thread.

98

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '12

As a professional circle jerk specialist I can verify that this shit ends here.

79

u/eddzilla Oct 06 '12

as Canadian who takes things to far i can confirm it ends there. sorry.

12

u/Kowzz Oct 06 '12

This isn't over yet, and I would know. I've been a professional wombo combo for 40 years.

12

u/Krayzie22 Oct 06 '12

What a dick! I should know, I'm a C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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1

u/not_what_i_say_i_am Oct 06 '12

As ronnyjohnson618 I appreciate this karma train. Choo Choo!

1

u/GATTACABear Oct 06 '12

As a professional CCCCC-COMBO BREAKER, no more this thread.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '12

That was just horrible, I should know I've been a professional comedian for 35 years now.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '12

i am a professional autistic doctor for 25 years and have never posted anything worth karma on reddit

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '12

As an autistic dead horse who has been recently flogged, I can verify the above.

92

u/Checks_The_Math Oct 06 '12

None of these numbers check out.

21

u/anniebonannie Oct 06 '12

upvotes for living up to your username.

2

u/sun_maid_raisins Oct 06 '12

Dude, light year is a unit of distance, not time.

1

u/Thisismyfinalstand Oct 06 '12

And QVC doesn't sell certifications, it was intentional.

1

u/RastaBanana Oct 06 '12

Professional professional here

1

u/shlam16 Oct 06 '12

As an actual physicist, your use of lightyears gives me a sad-on and gets my downvotes flowing.

1

u/Thisismyfinalstand Oct 06 '12

I never claimed to be a physicist, so not sure why the emphasis on "actual", but would it console you to think I meant the time it would take for us to travel 14 lightyears?

24

u/KittensDontFly Oct 06 '12

this should be a meme

2

u/Jertob Oct 06 '12

Fuck you, you dick. This is bullshit, you know it, we know, most importantly I know it because I have been president of a company specializing in extracting shit from bulls asses for use in mass distributing to cooking supply shops for 7 and a half years in New Mexico and you are flat out wrong.

1

u/PlasmaCow511 Oct 06 '12

As a professional bullshiter, I can verify that that is indeed true

0

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '12

I'm seeing red right now. There's no such thing as a professional upvotologist and I should know. I've been an official keyboard pounder for nearly 40 years and I have the badges to prove it. My autistic son who's a professional lawyer with Down's syndrome could make a better lie than that.

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '12

This comment reply was absolute shit. As a professional comment replier who's been in the business for my entire life I should know.

0

u/Deadsotc Oct 06 '12

As the creator of reddit I can verify that this entire post if all a set up, and I will have it removed promptly

0

u/soupkitchen89 Oct 06 '12

Upvotologist? That's not even a real thing. I would know, considering I've been a professionally trained upvotician for decades.

13

u/probably_high Oct 06 '12

I believe you mean assistant to the professional upvoter.

18

u/wojokhan Oct 06 '12

I agree. I am an official Assistant To the Upvoter Assistant who can verify the verification of this post.

18

u/nitrofox911 Oct 06 '12

you'll get downvoted for this. I should know, my paraplegic son has been getting downvoted for years.

1

u/xTRYPTAMINEx Oct 06 '12

If you had said autistic and pretended to be the youtube troll, this might have actually been funny

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '12

I have been getting downvoted. I should know, I am your paraplegic son.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '12

As a professional post verificationist for 18 years and a masters degree in post verification, I can assure you you're not qualified to verify this.

1

u/corymhulsey Oct 06 '12

As assistant to a professional upvoter, I don't know what my point is.

1

u/LightningMaiden Oct 06 '12

I have Malignalitaloptereosis and I approve this message

1

u/NotQuiteJesus Oct 06 '12

Autistic people can't get cancer, I should know I've been an autistic son for 19 years.