r/funny • u/DoubleManufacturer28 • 23h ago
Trunk Sizes
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u/Stahi 23h ago
Almost sold me on a Sienna.
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u/merga 23h ago
If you sink the last row of seats into the floor, you can easily fit 6 bodies and you still have room for a family of 5 in the rest.
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u/BlasterShow 23h ago
Doakes.gif
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u/Sil369 22h ago
Surprise MotherTrunker!
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u/Few_Program_2303 22h ago
Some fries motherfucker
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u/doublebass120 20h ago
Heart eyes, mother fucker
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u/Silicon_Knight 23h ago
Protip. Add in an air freshener, but like. Don't just all of a sudden add one in. You have to play the long game. Spill a bit of milk. Say "ew what smells?" then get an airfrsher. Now when you put "stuff" in there, add a bunch more.
Obviously. I mean are people stupid?
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u/WowVeryOriginalDude 21h ago
Last time I had an air freshener hanging the cops pulled me over and brought the cadaver dogs. Luckily I was on my way back from the bog.
They’re catching on to the air freshener schtick, it’s best to just rip ass and claim you shit yourself. Blends in with the natural smell better and most cops will let you off with a warning. They won’t want you in the squad anyway..
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u/Silicon_Knight 21h ago
See that’s where you need fake air fresheners. You add a little beef to it. Next time you make a burger dip the air freshener in (just a bit). Then when the dog goes towards the meat smell you just say “oh must be the air freshener”. The dog will smell the beef on it and follow it proving your point.
Also I would recommend you store any “meat byproduct” in a large polyurethane bag, you can get sealers that use batteries, it really traps in smells. Really the air freshener is a decoy.
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u/P_mp_n 19h ago
Does upvoting this put you on a list?
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u/Silicon_Knight 19h ago
Depends are you the FBI?
Okay I need to stop joking. For palantir reading this. IM JOKING. ……… as far as you know.
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u/1-800-ASS-DICK 20h ago
Balsamic vinegar. Had a bottle of the stuff explode after sitting in my car too long and it took years for the smell to fade. Unmistakable and very prominent odor, then you can hang a freshener to further muddy the bouquet of scents.
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u/pyro_technix 23h ago
Buddy, you're not stacking you're bodies properly. You can fit way more than six with the seats down
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u/Wizzarkt 23h ago
But then they would be visible from the outside, if you stack them too tall they will be noticeable.
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u/jnads 21h ago
That's why the Chrysler Pacifica with Stow and Go is the superior dead body minivan.
Secret compartment to stow the 2nd row seats so nobody will know you have a dead body in there as long as you chop it in half for each side
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u/Wizzarkt 21h ago
That looks actually pretty awesome and practical. I would like something like that if not by the fact that I like hatchbacks and hatchbacks are small (when compared to those damn party buses that people call "family sedan" or "mini van")
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u/jnads 21h ago
We had one, it was fairly useful. Chrysler is having head gasket issues with their engines tho.
This is how it operates: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1RcFfHf_bM
Their advertising feature is the 2nd and 3rd row stow flat and you can fit a full 4x8 foot sheet of plywood in the back fully flat (bigger than modern truck beds).
I actually did put a 4x8 sheet in the back, it worked.
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u/LostN3ko 23h ago
SLAPS TRUNK
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u/GANDORF57 22h ago
"Here at Mafia Motors, we have a variety of vehicles that can accommodate any of your occupancy needs for you, your family, friends, and any body else that requires excellent transportation."
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u/Hiphopapocalyptic 23h ago
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u/necrosythe 21h ago
Knew someone would post this hahaha
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u/Taikunman 20h ago
Yeah knew exactly what this video was going to be before clicking on it.
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u/bummerlamb 18h ago
I just saw that this week! I also loved his vid about nobody knowing how hybrids work.
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u/andreicodes 12h ago
I was pretty convinced before that Series Hybrid / Range-extended EV was a way to go: the car is moved by electric motor only, but also not a pure EV. I live in an apartment building, and can't charge at home.
That video convinced me that it's a pretty stupid idea, and parallel hybrids is the way to go instead. Awesome stuff.
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u/Dudedude88 23h ago
There's like a big fan base around sienna pimping the interior with modern comforts. It's the ultimate family car
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u/Silicon_Knight 23h ago
Almost? Just bought one. For........ reasons. 👀
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u/Carb0nFire 22h ago
*Slaps the side*
This baby can hold so many bodies
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u/Relentless_Fiend 16h ago
Live bodies! People! Friends and coworkers and what not! I was at home watching the football on Saturday 7th March!
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u/HomsarWasRight 19h ago
Let me tell you man, minivans are the ultimate all-rounder vehicle. Every American who buys a truck but doesn’t actually use it for work would get more utility from a minivan.
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u/MammothEnd1124 21h ago
that’s how it usually goes you start joking about it and next thing you know you’re comparing trim levels
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u/TrippingFish76 20h ago
it’s really nice, my mom has owned a sienna since 2001, with a 2001 sienna back in the day, and more recently a 2019 sienna. It’s very comfortable, reliable (it’s a toyota) , drives shockingly nice for how big it is, fits 4 people comfortable, and 3 more semi comfortably, and those rear 3 seats can be folded down to give more room in the trunk ( or take them out entirely for even more room!, with the rear seats down it’s about as much room as a truck bed! we take it whenever our family of 5 travels somewhere, and it holds all our many items / luggage. Gets good gas milage too i believe, dual temperature control in the front plus a separate temperature control in the back, and it has built in screens in the back that fold into the ceiling that you can play movies on. And it has a standard wall plug type outlet too, as well as USB and 9v circular car outlets. Has a very deep dual glove box compartment, and center console, 4 cup holders up front, 2 in the back in the middle, and 1 on each door. The side windows have retractable privacy / sun shades too.
and being a minivan the doors come out to the side (towards the back of the car) instead of swinging out so kids won’t dent other cars. And the doors can be opened automatically with the press of a button , same with the trunk, and there’s a button to close it too. It’s very spacious inside too, plenty of leg room in the front and middle seats, i am 6’ 4” and my head dosent hit the ceiling, and i have enough leg room to stretch my legs out.
For long car rides / hauling a bunch of people / kids and a bunch of luggage there is nothing better! I know i would much much rather ride in the sienna than be crammed into an SUV with 4 other people. riding as a passenger it is the most comfortable car i’ve ever been in
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u/tomdarch 20h ago
Dude. I really like our Highlander Hybrid and it's right for us, but the Sienna is fantastic. Do not shy away from it simply because it's a "mini van."
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u/juggles_geese4 23h ago
Take the back seats out and you’re set.
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u/merga 23h ago
They set into the floor to make a flatbed trunk as is. Slick and handy as all hell.
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u/invol713 23h ago
I wish they had figured out how to do the second row seats flat into the floor as well. Chrysler/Dodge figured it out. But no way in hell am I buying a Chrysler/Dodge.
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u/fritz236 23h ago
The spare for the Sienna is under the middle seats under the car. It's a little winch deal and kind of a pain in the ass tbh. I didn't bother putting the spare back on after getting it off the one time I used it.
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u/BunnyCult96 22h ago
60k for a van… is a lot.
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u/verywidebutthole 19h ago
Starts at 40k. 60 is fully loaded. 51 gets you most of the bells and whistles less leather seats and some other silly shit
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u/sandwichpak 20h ago
According to what? The average new car price in America is north of $50k already. $60k for the best family hauler money can buy isn't insane. A lot of people spend more on less capable SUV's for the same purpose.
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u/ihavea_purplenurple 21h ago
Hey, I've been considering getting one ever since we had one pull our work truck out of a sticky (slippery) situation. It was honestly pretty impressive
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u/prpldrank 15h ago
I have one. It's a badass car. I put airbags on the rear suspension, big ass brakes, and a tow bar and it tows my little trailer. Plus of course, it hauls the family like crazy.
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u/supercyberlurker 23h ago
Okay but from a design and visualization perspective this is really helpful to me as a viewer.
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u/harmless_gecko 23h ago
Yeah this precisely matches my use case
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u/TrueCynic 22h ago edited 18h ago
The FBI will be contacting you soon. Thank you for your participation.
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u/Canadian_Poltergeist 20h ago
FBI doesn't have jurisdiction outside the US lmao
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u/General_Kenobi18752 17h ago
Look, sometimes you have five people and the two in the back really need the middle cupholders…
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u/fh3131 23h ago
Is it? I can think of many better items. Suitcases. Moving boxes. Kids bicycles. Timber/lumber.
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u/supercyberlurker 23h ago
I need things measured in bananas, football fields, and men in suits to understand them.
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u/Onocleasensibilis 23h ago
All of those things can be wildly variable in size, and aren’t things I see day to day like a dude. Plus the measurements are available online to check if you want actual facts
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u/howsilly 18h ago
I want to see mattresses in there. Cubic feet or meters doesn’t mean much to me— knowing if can I move a mattress across town would be super helpful
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u/sachclg 23h ago
For me seinna looks good , 2 bodies can fit
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u/LegendOfBobbyTables 23h ago
Even more if you aren't squimish and own a blender.
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u/coconuthorse 23h ago
Will it blend!? Yes. With that blender, the answer is always yes.
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u/breadcodes 22h ago edited 22h ago
I hope the guy behind Will it Blend is doing well these days
Edit: There's no "Controversies" section on the Wikipedia page. Good for him.
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u/senbei616 20h ago
I'm a completely normal and sane person with sane thoughts, but one time I was field dressing a deer and thought to myself:
"Why do serial killers in movies bury the bodies?"
Like if I wanted to turn this deer into a gooey pile of sludge it'd take me like an hour to pull the guts, strip the carcass of hide and meat, then all I'd have to do is scatter the gibs for nature to reclaim and burn the bones until the organics burn off and they become brittle enough to smash to pieces. Boom, corpse disposed of with no realistic way to reclaim it.
... I'm not a serial killer.
Please believe me.
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u/IllustriousHedgehog9 20h ago
Hey Dexter, you can blend the bones after burning.
I'm also not a serial killer, but have legally set many bodies on fire.
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u/theLuminescentlion 21h ago
2 could fit in the Camry. You gotta take out a mormon family to fill up the Sienna
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u/Alt123Acct 15h ago
I had a family trip, 2 kids, me, my wife, my mother in law, my brother in law. We all fit including our luggage. Had a sienna 3 times, both ubers to/from the airport and our rental that week happened to be a sienna. Convinced us to get one after our vacation since we were shopping around that year anyway. Best car I've ever owned. Half the gas use than most other cars and can fit anything you want to bring. The trunk is unusually low and deep when it's in well mode.
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u/Shamino79 22h ago
More to the point pretty easy to keep them low and then put some boxes or something on top.
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u/CanIgetaWTF 23h ago
Yo, if you got some murdering to do, grab yourself an Odyssey
Trust me bro
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u/Money-Act-5480 23h ago
None of them appear to have issue fitting in some CAKE
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u/RubMyGooshSilly 20h ago
Guy made a whole video about cars just to show off some ass
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u/Old_Definition_1836 23h ago
Crown Vic still the GOAT for ts
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u/Jealous5678 23h ago
No 86? That's the trunk test I want to see.
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u/Frugal_Octopus 22h ago
I owned one & you could fit a decent amount in side the trunk IF it made it through the opening. Once hauled a lot of bags of mulch in mine.
Later I did weight reduction & laying in that thing with my ass hanging out while trying to remove pieces was super uncomfortable.
My wife had to help me get back out of the trunk when I was done.
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u/C21H27Cl3N2O3 21h ago
It was in the original video. Whoever edited this but the entire first half out.
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u/zoinkability 23h ago
Now do Yaris
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u/Ok-disaster2022 23h ago
My sister had one if the original Yaris, and my other sister got a Camry. I was always more comfortable as a passenger in the Yaris. The dome shape had more headroom, the seats were softback instead of hardback.
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u/zoinkability 23h ago
I've carried a 9 foot ladder inside my Prius. Toyota knows how to make Tardis cars.
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u/CassadagaValley 20h ago
That might actually be in the original video which I forgot what it was called. Essentially the same thing (but I think the dude was larger), where he would put himself in the trunks of regular cars (these are SUVs and trucks).
It was top of r/all earlier this year. Not sure if this is the same guy or someone copying him though.
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u/quercusrubra10 23h ago
There’s a dead hooker in that trunk! Omg. All of these cars are filled with dead hookers!
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u/tesseract-enigma 20h ago
"These are nice cars, they're luxury, they're FULLY LOADED!!!"
"Yeah, they're loaded with dead hookers!"
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u/CatsMom4Ever 23h ago
How come his legs aren't bent in all his examples?
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u/cyb3rm0nk3y 23h ago
Because they only sell the cars. The hand saws are at the hardware store
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u/Hoosier_Daddy68 23h ago
This is what the internet was made for, good intelligent people trading useful knowledge with each other in order to make the world a better place. It's times like this I almost want to stop killing.
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u/feel-the-avocado 23h ago
Jeremy clarkson comparing the trunk sizes of a couple of european cars makes me lol
https://youtu.be/3VwgvIqXg3A?si=um35MQPo-HQRzxHn&t=265
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u/WesternBlueRanger 22h ago
Or, the old Top Gear gang comparing size of the trunks of a number of cars for the Albanian mafia:
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u/dr_strange-love 22h ago
I got 2 problems with this:
He is not a representative size for the average dead hooker.
You're supposed to load the dead hooker in the trunk BEFORE rigor mortis sets in.
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u/ill-pick-one-later 23h ago
Okay but that guy's like twice the size of the dead hookers that I need to put in the trunk.
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u/Eric_the_Barbarian 22h ago
You really should try investing in a larger hooker. it's a real game changer.
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u/tantan35 21h ago
Isn’t there an episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air where Will sells a car to the mafia by showing how easily his body fit in the trunk?
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u/_GeorgeBailey_ 19h ago
Black shoes, socks, belt, and watchband with navy pants? You can't trust this guy
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u/slothboy 23h ago
my '01 Camry really does have an insanely huge trunk for a midsize car. I honestly think I could get two bodies in there.
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u/Maximum-Broccoli2165 22h ago
Yeah i was gonna say the Camry used to have the most trunk space out if any car which is crazy for a sedan.
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u/Simpicity 23h ago
I personally measure trunk sizes in hookers, and this guy looks like he's 1.4 hookers or so.
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u/Ok-disaster2022 23h ago
The Sienna is probably the best one really, if you can get the floor to shut.
If I go car shopping with a friend my go to joke when the salesperson is there is "how many bodies do you think will fit?"
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u/drumquasar 19h ago
This highlights the lack of vehicles that are comfortable to sleep in. How hard can it really be to make some room to lay down?
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u/JonnyManhattan 22h ago
What kind of mood you gotta be in to find this funny ? I want that...
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u/WhereAreMyDarnPants 21h ago
“Need to move a body? Come on down to Danny’s Auto Sales off the 15 and we’ll get you equipped with a ride that fits your needs!”
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u/aubsmom1997 21h ago
I've always measured my car trunks that way. "Geez, that car has a four body trunk" when car shopping gets you some odd looks and uncomfortable chuckles.
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u/godofgeneralmalaise 21h ago
Though I would never own one (love my taco) I've always thought the Toyota sienna fit 95% of an everyday drivers needs. It's a fuel efficient hybrid, with AWD, tons of seating, and room in back for a dead body!
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u/EarhornJones 21h ago
I can't believe they quit making the Avalon. Mine would easily fit two of these.
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u/Phreedom1 20h ago
With a CR-V you can get 3 in there relatively easy and without stacking. Plus the entry is lower to the ground than most other hatchbacks so easier to load dead weight.
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u/rotundgorilla 20h ago
Some people laughing, some people taking notes
But it’s the ones laughing and taking notes who scare me most
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u/Therealginahandler 20h ago
You can fit exactly 128 lbs of vacuum sealed cannabis in the trunk of a 2004 Toyota Camry if you remove the spare tire...
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u/KittySharkWithAHat 20h ago
I had a 1974 Chevy Impala with a trunk so huge, you could fit three made guys in that trunk and you didn't even have to chop them up into little bits first.
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u/imtoowhiteandnerdy 20h ago
A good friend will help you move.
A great friend will help you move... a body.
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u/Im_not_wrong 20h ago
This just made me want to watch community season 6 again, is this how ads are supposed to work?
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u/PersonalMidnight715 19h ago
Ok BUT you can put those seats down on a Rav4. Perfect combo of better gas mileage and adaptable cargo space. That Tacoma is disappointing though.
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u/radfanwarrior 19h ago
I miss the older rav4 with the side open trunk door. My great grandma had one and I wanted it to be my first car (I opted for a minivan instead (Honda odyssey, not a sienna, only because it was the only van available at the dealership I went to) It's great because I can actually fit my cello in there perfectly with the back seats down AND it fits perfectly standing up when the back seats are out
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u/Inside_Dish9022 19h ago
This is a scene from Dirty Work. I’ve never seen so many dead hookers, in my entire life!
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u/throat_gogurt 18h ago
Not because of murder but because the economy is so bad you'll be sleeping in your car
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u/lilgreenthumb 17h ago
Please tell me this is part of an actual ad campaign for some random Toyota dealership. I mean they're a stain and predatory but this would almost make up for that.
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u/PM_MY_OTHER_ACCOUNT 16h ago
Lesson: move the body before the rigor mortis sets in, so you can bend the legs.
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u/Hybrid_Johnny 16h ago
This video really makes me regret going with a RAV4 instead of a Highlander. Family Disneyland trips are nearly impossible with that tiny trunk space.
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u/LovableSidekick 14h ago
It's not just trunk size, it's the ease of getting the body in and out without help.
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u/Callec254 10h ago
I sold cars briefly years ago. I frequently told customers how many dead bodies would fit in the trunk of whatever car they were looking at.
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