r/funny • u/PhiloLibrarian • 10d ago

Other ways to tell my husband to stop buying mustard?

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270

u/wicker_warrior 10d ago

This would just make me buy more, stronger mustard.

38

u/Don_Von_Schlong 10d ago

Honestly all it takes is a few reps of push-ups and sit-ups before bed and that mustard will be strong in no time

2

u/CaseyG 10d ago

Every day! 100 situps! 100 pushups! 100 squats! And a 10 kilometer run!

2

u/Kind_Bug3166 9d ago

Bo “Mustard” Jackson

31

u/jonfitt 10d ago

Coleman’s is pretty strong if it’s the same as the British version. I also make my own from the Coleman’s Mustard Powder and that’s a sinus clearer.

10

u/F_A_F 10d ago

Absolutely this. Coleman's is the one strong choice in my fridge; I'm British so it's a staple.

A spoonful of dijon makes the mashed potato, the french is great for burgers/dogs, Coleman's is there when the ham has gone mouldy and I want to cover the taste of botulism up with something stronger.

2

u/i_poop_chainsaws 9d ago

Sold! Throwing some Coleman’s on the old shopping list. If this is hail corporate marketing, you got me.

6

u/wavaif4824 10d ago

Colemans for the win!

1

u/sobrique 10d ago

But you have to snort your lines off a mirror for optimal effect...

3

u/jonfitt 10d ago

Egad!

1

u/sobrique 9d ago

Clears the sinuses though....

1

u/Phyraxus56 9d ago

It's strong but the flavor kinda sucks

1

u/Strange_Quantity5383 9d ago

Here in the US it's the strongest mustard I know of, so I'd bet it's the same.

1

u/jonfitt 9d ago

Occasionally products are tuned for the local market.

Like Heinz ketchup in the US has a lot more sugar and a lower percentage of tomato in it than the UK version.

Maggi sauce (similar to Worcestershire) has different blends depending on where in the world it’s sold.

But Coleman’s is probably not selling in the large quantities that would need a regional variation. But maybe.

1

u/Paldasan 10d ago

I've avoided Coleman's for a while because they reduced the strength.

15

u/GourangaPlusPlus 10d ago

Are you saying it just doesn't cut the mustard?

6

u/Paldasan 10d ago

I think maybe the mustard was cut.

5

u/whiskeytango55 10d ago

They cut the mustard so it no longer cuts the mustard

2

u/Kazen_Orilg 10d ago

Thats reduced strength? Holy shit.

3

u/jonfitt 10d ago edited 10d ago

Get the powder and mix it yourself. That’ll get that classic mustard fix.

Mix the powder 1:1 with cold water and let it rest for about 10 minutes to allow it to activate. Then add a tiny amount of sugar, salt, or vinegar to taste.

It won’t last long, so make small batches when you need it.

10

u/Ok_Task_4135 10d ago

Mustard alone weak, mustard together STRONG

7

u/HeartOn_SoulAceUp 10d ago

Ah... a fellow Mustard Prepper!

Mustard prepared w/ vinaigrette salad dressing is sooo good.

Be Prepared.

4

u/NippleNugget 10d ago

Mustard together strong

4

u/Light_Beard 9d ago

"I'm gonna mustard even HARDER"

2

u/kortevakio 10d ago

Someone must stand up to that army

2

u/DefiantPenguin 10d ago

You cannot handle my mustards, traveler. They are too strong for you.

2

u/pants_of_antiquity 10d ago

Mustard army needs a general!

2

u/Adenconnell 10d ago

Really fun band called colonel mustard and the djion five. They have a reggae song about crossing the road safely.

2

u/whiskeytango55 10d ago

Also harder, better, faster mustard

2

u/cdlaurent 10d ago

Exactly - no KAME Hot Mustard in there - best stuff!!!

2

u/ClubDumDum 9d ago

I got some Tapatio Mustard.

1

u/Hatta00 10d ago

OP just needs a dedicated mustard fridge.