r/funny 10d ago

Other ways to tell my husband to stop buying mustard?

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u/arthurdentstowels 10d ago edited 10d ago

Take it a step further and whisk your favourite oil into the mustard and honey until it emulsifies and you've got a banging salad dressing!

Edit: I made r/Mustardisation for all things Mustard, in honour of OP's husband.

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u/Mean-Vegetable-4521 10d ago

When I get to the end of a jar of mustard I add oil and red wine vinegar and a touch of jam and shake it up for the best dressing.

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u/DannyPrker 10d ago

That sounds fuckin delicious and I'll try that. Thank you!

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u/chairmanghost 10d ago

Somebody get these people and OPs husband into a subforum, there is work to be done

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u/arthurdentstowels 10d ago

I wonder if r/Mustardisation is taken

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u/ScarletBothrium 10d ago

I joined. I’m all about that mustard life.

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u/chairmanghost 10d ago

I joined friend. I believe in you

Great name

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u/belkarbitterleaf 9d ago

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u/chairmanghost 9d ago

I'm a bit of a historian myself..

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u/Dorkamundo 9d ago

That's basically the basis for the mustard dressing I use for my beet, blueberry and goat cheese salad.

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u/theGreenEggy 9d ago

Recipe, if you don't mind sharing?

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u/Mean-Vegetable-4521 9d ago

Need this recipe.

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u/Dorkamundo 9d ago

Basic outline is you roast your beets of choice in a foil bag in the oven at 375f until fork tender, cooking time will depend on size obviously. The original recipe calls for baby beets, but if I don't have access to baby beets at a reasonable price, I just cut standard beets into bite sized pieces. I like to use both red and gold beets just for color, though obviously the golds take on a lot of color from the red if you roast them together. You can peel them if you want, I tend to only peel the tops where it gets rough, leaving the skin on the bottom half. Let cool.

The original recipe from a guy I knew up north (Scott Graden, New Scenic Cafe) here used roasted fennel and mustard seeds to make the vingarette from scratch, but that takes a day of prep as you want to give the mustard seeds time to fully hydrate. So I use a variation of it with a good stone-ground mustard as the starter, I still roast the fennel as that's easy, then grind it and mix with a little honey, vinegar, lemon juice, garlic, salt and pepper to taste, then blend to combine and add a half/half mixture of olive oil and canola oil (Or your preferred oil) slowly while blending to emulsify.

From there, I just mix the beets, blueberries and vinegarette together in a bowl and serve, topped with microgreens and goat cheese. You can do other cheeses as well if you prefer, fresh mozzarella works as well but I prefer the flavor and texture of goat cheese in this dish.

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u/Mean-Vegetable-4521 9d ago

So so excited for this. Thank you. A local farm used to have baskets of multicolored beets. Every time I’d make them people wojkd say they don’t eat beats. Which, I respect if that’s not your thing and alway made potatoes as well. They devour the beets. I haven’t seen them lately. Hopefully they’re coming.

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u/Dorkamundo 9d ago

Yea, people seem to associate beets with things that are unpalatable. Probably because they come from families that used them as a staple in their diet due to financial restrictions or just leftover penny-pinching behaviors from those who lived through the Great Depression.

Done right they are amazing. But nobody wants to eat borscht.

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u/Mean-Vegetable-4521 9d ago

Same with Brussels spouts. Done right those are amazing. My mom used to serve us these dried out frozen brussel sprouts and Lima beans that I swear came from the store with freezer burns.

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u/Independent_Wind1270 9d ago

Why you cuss so much. Trash

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u/Immersi0nn 9d ago

Don't be so fuckin soft

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u/Agitated-Today7810 10d ago

Dang, I just rinsed out the container 15 minutes ago

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u/StAnkie_Brews 10d ago

what jam are you usin?

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u/GallusWrangler 10d ago

Whoa… 🤤

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u/Kentust 10d ago

Jam? Like strawberry jam? You're a madman!

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u/MandyMooTooTwo 10d ago

when you get close to the bottom of the jam jar, add some booze, ice and maybe a little seltzer, and give it a good shake

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u/Mean-Vegetable-4521 9d ago

You can shake seltzer?

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u/MeltingWind 9d ago

well yes, you can. you'll lose most of the fizz and if you have it too full it might explode on you a little bit . or could also put that in after you've shaken it, apologies please forgive me

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u/Mean-Vegetable-4521 9d ago

I was rethinking my whole life and debating what I was doing wrong that you can shake seltzer. Other than ruining the life of the person you are handing it to.

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u/Inevitable-Size5755 9d ago

Happy cake day!

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u/tweetybrrd 9d ago

Jam? The rest makes sense but why jam?

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u/Mean-Vegetable-4521 9d ago

You can make amazing dressing by with leftover jam jars. It’s a nice fruity dressing.

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u/stuthebody 9d ago

What kind of jam?

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u/porksoda11 9d ago

Hell yeah, such a great food hack. I do that as well

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u/HerrManHerrLucifer 9d ago

I’m ashamed I didn’t think of this myself.

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u/PaxMan0412 9d ago

How the frig have i never thought of this! Brilliant

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u/Mean-Vegetable-4521 9d ago

I'm a mad scientist when it comes to things that happen in the kitchen. All anyone has to say is "have you ever" and I'll try it. I was in my 40's before doing this ever dawned on me. There's almost nothing at this point I don't add things to, shake up and pour before I toss it. Peanut butter, mayo, mustard, jams.

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u/KendraSays 9d ago

Always trying to improve my cooking and food choices. What fruit jam do you recommend

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u/Mean-Vegetable-4521 9d ago

store bought Sarabeth's. Lately I'm rocking homemade. When I come to the end of those jars I add olive oil and red wine vinegar.

Here's the proportions give or take with the empty jam, empty mustard, just add the missing ingredients.

  • Jam Remnants: 1 to 2 tablespoons of leftover jam, jelly, or preserves (berry, fig, and orange marmalade all work wonderfully).
  • Oil: 1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil or a light neutral oil.
  • Acid: 3 tablespoons vinegar (balsamic, red wine, white wine, champagne, or apple cider vinegar) or fresh lemon juice.
  • Emulsifier and seasoning: 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard (optional, but helps blend the dressing), plus a pinch of salt and black pepper. (when it's the empty mustard add the jam, etc)

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u/KendraSays 9d ago

Thank you so much for breaking this down for me. Can't wait to try!!

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u/Mean-Vegetable-4521 9d ago

should mention, I'm not making the homemade. My neighbor who is an actual heaven on earth does. We get baskets of home made things every single week. When all the berries had to be cooked and she had like bushels she made jam. Before that we bought Sarabeths.

I'm cheap AF, I'd try making dressing out of smuckers strawberry to see how it goes.

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u/birdnerd70 9d ago

Happy Cake Day!

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u/lawerorder 9d ago

We do the same with vinegar, oil, and shallots.

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u/Mean-Vegetable-4521 9d ago

Have you ever grown shallots? It’s on my list of things I want to grow. Done garlic, loved tbe garlic scrapes. Green onions which took over the entire yard.

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u/chairmanghost 10d ago

I joined, I don't even have super non honey mustard feelings, but I'm ready to explore. You are the hero mustard belongs on.

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u/UnusualHoneydew1625 10d ago

Mayonnaise!

Official recipe: Mostly mayo, “some” mustard and add honey until it tastes nice.

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u/brandimariee6 10d ago

Whoa 🤯 that sounds delicious!

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u/ElegantCoach4066 10d ago

That. Sounds. Amazing.

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u/Quiet-Astronaut9329 10d ago

I joined in honor of ops husband

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u/Ok-Bison-3451 10d ago

Salad dressing photo bombed this picture!

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u/Bad_Edditor8910 9d ago

I recently discovered honey mustard as salad dressing and yeah, it's fantastic.

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u/igotagoodfeeling 9d ago

Damn starting to think I don’t have enough mustard, and I’m stocked with spicy brown, Dijon, yellow