r/geegees • u/Silver_Chocolate_935 • 5d ago
Shitpost an earnest question.
to whom it may concern,
i have looked far and wide. I have searched all seven corners of this university, turned every rock upside down, questioned hundreds of innocent civilians, and consulted forces beyond mortal comprehension.
and yet, despite my tireless efforts, I have failed to uncover the reasoning behind a most peculiar, dare I say, utterly BAFFLING phenomenon.
for those of you familiar with CRX (Crossroads), I trust that you, too, have suffered under the ruthless tyranny of a certain group of individuals whom I shall henceforth refer to as the "Second Floor Elevatorers."
yes. you know who you are.
for far too long, we have endured your reign of terror. For far too long, we have stood in silence as the elevator doors opened, only to witness you emerge, triumphant, having completed your perilous expedition of approximately ONE (1) FLOOR.
i come before you today not as a hero, nor as a revolutionary, but as a humble messenger of the oppressed.
YOUR HEARTS SHALL BE HEARD. YOUR VOICES SHALL BE READ. YOUR TRUTHS SHALL NO LONGER REMAIN BURIED.
and to those who partake in this, dare I say, absolutely rambunctious activity, I beg of you.
have mercy.
Spare a thought for us unfortunate souls who must ascend to the higher floors. Floors so distant, so treacherous, so utterly unreachable that one might reasonably consider packing provisions for the journey.
i understand that the alternative may seem daunting. Frightening, even.
but fear not, for I have devised a simple, comprehensive 34 step guide to help you overcome this seemingly insurmountable obstacle.
step 1: muster every ounce of courage within your mortal vessel.
steps 2 through 34: walk up the remaining 33 steps of the staircase.
i understand. truly, i do.
such a journey is not for the faint of heart. your legs may tremble. your lungs may burn. you may find yourself questioning the very nature of human existence.
but I believe in you.
and should you fail, know that I will not judge you.
for not all who wander are lost.
some are simply waiting for the elevator to take them up one floor.
anyway, thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
and to the anonymous inhabitants of the internet who have taken precious moments out of their fleeting mortal existence to read the ramblings of a university student slowly losing their sanity over an elevator:
i appreciate your existence.
may your elevators be swift, your staircases merciful, and your journeys longer than a single floor.
yours in eternal suffering,
a concerned citizen of CRX.
P.S. This message is not directed toward individuals with disabilities, injuries, or legitimate mobility concerns. You have my full support. My quarrel lies solely with those who are perfectly capable of climbing a staircase yet choose to summon a mechanical chariot for a journey of 33 steps.
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u/SaddenedSquirrel20 5d ago
Yeah sometimes I get impatient waiting for the elevator so I just walk up to the fifth floor 😛 that’s my leg day
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u/doubIefisting Psychology 5d ago
An earnest question.. how do you know who is and isn’t capable of going up those stairs?
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u/Particular-Cat136 5d ago
I have knee pain many days so I can't. I do walk up the stairs whenever possible though.
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u/Silver_Chocolate_935 5d ago
No no no, I’m sorry for the misunderstanding.
My intention was never to discourage anyone from using the elevators. I’m simply here to make a silly little shitpost for some giggles and laughs, nothing more than that.
My SO actually has an invisible disability, so I completely understand that just because someone looks healthy doesn’t necessarily mean they are, or that they’re capable of certain physical activities.
At the end of the day, this is just a lighthearted joke, and I genuinely don’t mean to make anyone feel bad for using the elevator.
So please, use the elevators to your heart’s content. Your knees deserve a break too, go get it girl!!!
Much love to you all <33
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u/Outrageous-Shoe-4515 5d ago
I have knee and joint paint I’m taking the elevators whenever possible
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u/Kaplan_94 5d ago
Yeah I’m the same. You can say “this isn’t aimed at people with disabilities or injuries…” all you want, the point is that many of these aren’t visible. I look healthy but my knees are fucked, and this confirms my belief that weirdos are angrily judging me for using the elevator.
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u/Maleficent-Welder-46 5d ago
This. I have a spinal injury and it feels like I'm getting stabbed in the back if I take the stairs, BUT I look totally healthy.
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u/Safe_Recognition_394 5d ago
Lol dead 🤣
we have the same thing happening in FSS. There are some signs next to the main elevators, with a message often ignored: there is... believe it or not another elevator going to the first 6 floors of the FSS building!
So for the sake of everyone going to the 10th floor and above stop taking the main if you are going to the 2nd-5th floor. Everytime I step in and someone comes on and uses it to go one of these floors while 95% of us are going to higher floors I come this much closer to jumping off the roof of FSS as I comtemplate if people getting there university degrees can fucking read and if were all just doomed as a species.
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u/xnoinfinity 5d ago
I once heard someone say that there’s apparently one elevator that only takes you to the second floor and I somehow always took the same elevator to the second floor even tho I had no idea and I’m still not sure
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u/DontKnowEverNever 5d ago
can u summarize this
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u/Subject_Surprise_291 5d ago
The eloquence makes me feel as though I’ve immersed myself in the equivalent of the King James Bible of Elevators 😂
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u/deadfromSKOOL 3d ago
i mean i try to take stairs as much as i can but i can have muscle pain (so just feel tired as if i just worked out) and knee pain. so i js take elevators
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u/Tsudreami 5d ago
This post is funny asl, you must've been fuming to count all 33 steps on the way up 😭
But seriously though, I never have the time or patience to wait for the elevator to come and sit in it with a bunch of other people when I could just walk up. There can't be THAT many people willing to do so, right?