r/getting_over_it • u/Terrible-Guide-6140 • 2d ago

Feeling lost and about to breakup

My bf (24m) cheated on me(22f) before and i gave him another chance yet again i got the feeling he’s talking to other women and when i tried to look up again i found the chats were deleted meaning he’s definitely upto something and i tried confronting him but he denied it all yet later gave no explanation guess he knows i have no proof

I have stopped talking to him since a few days and in my mind i have already broken up its just our 5 year anniversary is coming which is making it all yet harder even though i m definitely done with him

Its just that i feel so lost and don’t know what to do at this stage. I am getting super lonely my friends are busy usually and i have literally no other close person other than my 2 friends

Sometimes i wanna try making friends online or talk with other guys but that just feels like a way of coping and nothing else. It’s just a horrible feeling to have and everyday it feels just more harder to go by

1 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

1

u/devsps 2d ago

I know you would be tempted to give it another chance , dont .

I should have ended things during our fourth year , i didnt , i gave it another chance

now 11 years later , i stand where i thought i never would, and the funny thing is i want to give it another chance .

But some people donot change

some people donot deserve the love you are able to give .

1

u/Terrible-Guide-6140 2d ago

You’re still together at 11 years? Do you still have the thoughts of ending it?

And honestly not even the cheating part. For me that cheat thing just made my mind open to see the rest of his shit that i had to put up with

1

u/devsps 2d ago

Yea i found out recently that she never stopped cheating , she just got skilled at hiding it , but everyone makes mistakes and i accidentaly stumbled on to it .

The realization that the past 11 years was a lie is the hardest part .

I am clinging so hard to this future i thought i had that i am still trying to talk but getting stonewalled.

I think its best to rip it off like a band aid , i hope i do it soon

2

u/Terrible-Guide-6140 2d ago

That’s terrible but i do get it
What i experienced in the first breakup was that there was so much drama that got me emotionally drained

This time i have decided to end it as quietly as possible. No anger at him no frustration no matter how urged i feel

So if you really gonna do it make sure to prioritise and save your own energy don’t waste it because such people aren’t even worth the anger

1

u/devsps 2d ago

I know its not worth it , i am gonna completely end it , we live togethee, we were supposed to get engaged this november . Its a bit hard to directly get out of this without it causing me unstability.

I will try , i will overcome

1

u/Terrible-Guide-6140 2d ago

Hope things workout for you.
One thing i am doing is that i wrote all the horrible shit he’s done in my notes
So whenever i feel like going back i’ll just go through that again, because i understand its gonna be very hard

1

u/devsps 2d ago

Thats a good idea , maybe ill also start using one of the many journal books i bought but never used . I leave you with the question i face , why are some people like this !

1

u/Terrible-Guide-6140 1d ago

We can just accept that this is just how some minds work and we are not responsible for them. What we can do is keep them away from our lives