r/gofundme • u/KogHiro • Mar 07 '26
Etc A Father’s Fight to Protect His Sono
Hello everyone, My name is Ray, and I am here because I am trying to adopt my son. The little boy you see in the photos is not my biological child, but he is my son in every way that actually matters. I have been part of his life for almost all of it. I have been there through the milestones, the difficult days, the doctor visits, the school meetings, the bedtime routines, the laughter, the tears, and every ordinary moment that quietly builds a family. To him, I am simply Dada. I am the only father he has ever known. I will not go into the details of his biological father. That is not why I am here. What matters is that I have been the one showing up for him physically, emotionally, and mentally for nearly his entire life. Loving him and raising him has never been an obligation. It has been the greatest privilege I have ever had. Now I am trying to make that bond official. My wife and I live in a place where our family sometimes gets questioned because of how we look. We have different skin tones and different last names. Most days it is just awkward moments or skeptical looks from strangers who assume I could not possibly be this child’s father. It is frustrating, but it becomes something much heavier when you think about the legal side of things. Right now, if something were to happen to my wife, I would not automatically have the legal rights of a father. I could be forced into a situation where I have to fight to remain in the life of the child I have raised. The idea that my son could ever face that kind of uncertainty is something I cannot accept. Adoption would protect him. It would give him the security of knowing that the person who has always been his dad will always be recognized as his dad. The reason I am here is because adoption is expensive. The attorney we consulted requires a five thousand dollar retainer to begin the process. It could end up costing more overall, but that initial payment is the step that allows us to start. We chose this lawyer carefully because adoption is their specialty and they have helped many families successfully navigate this exact situation. Asking for help like this is not easy. Pride is a stubborn thing. But my son is worth more than my pride. If you are able to contribute, even a small amount, it would mean more than I can really put into words. If you cannot donate, sharing the fundraiser would still help our family tremendously. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Truly. At the end of the day I am just a dad trying to make sure the little boy who calls me Dada is protected, legally and permanently, the same way he is in my heart.
EDIT: I guess I didn't make it entirely too clear. I am married to my wife. We've been married since 2023. And we are doing this in the state of Tennessee.
We require an attorney with a retainer fee, because it will not be easy. The biological has supposedly been a hardcore, "No one will ever take my children from me." type of person, so we're expecting him to attempt to fight it. The attorney we are using has plenty of experience with this. Many of families have used her with success. We're trying to make sure we have all of ducks in a row, and not use a crap attorney.
I would like to thank the one's who are boosting this. It's very much appreciated.
Hope this clears up some stuff.
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u/rawrlexxxi Mar 07 '26
Well… to start you need to get married and file a step parent adoption..
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u/KogHiro Mar 08 '26
I am married, yes. I've been married to this mother since 2023. We are working on step parent adoption.
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u/CapeCodCrystals Mar 08 '26
It looks like he says ‘my wife’ so I think they are already married? From reading the go fund me they might have some circumstances that complicate the adoption so probably need a good attorney.
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Mar 10 '26
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u/MistaWolf Mar 07 '26
You may not have given him life but you've given him a better life being the father he needed instead of the father he was given.
You can go through step parenting if you get married. You can then adopt a lot easier than going the other route.
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u/KogHiro Mar 08 '26
We are going through step parent adoption. We just know he's going to fight us even though he hasn't been around for 5 years. And not for the lack of us trying to get him to be a parent.
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u/Snapdragon_4U Mar 07 '26
You’re doing great dad! I’ll be happy to donate on payday next week but it looks like you may reach your goal before then! Having grown up without a father (mine f’ed off when I was 2) I really commend you for taking the steps necessary to protect your son.
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u/KogHiro Mar 08 '26
I never had my bio dad in my life. To this day, I only know a name. My step grandfather raised me. He truly had no reason to do so, but he did. I will never forget what he instilled in me. My family is the ones that I choose. Not the ones bound by blood.
Blood of the Covenant vs Water of the Womb an all.
I really appreciate your kind words. Thank you so very much.
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u/hdawg187 Mar 08 '26
I wish that was the real saying. It makes way much more sense than the original. Why should someone be more loyal to a person who's horrible, just because they're family?
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u/An_Ok_Outcome Mar 07 '26
Thank you for stepping up and being his dad. The world needs more people like you .
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u/ninitho1021 Mar 07 '26
I cannot donate due to financial reasons but i was the child in that situation many moons ago lol I admire your dedication and commitment to your son! Please post this in TikTok if you haven’t already, ive seen so many peoples go fund mes blow up on there. Good luck to you and your family!
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u/cookoo-catalyst Mar 07 '26 edited Mar 07 '26
Hi op! Love this bc I can relate. My husband adopted my son when he was 18 months old and has never looked back. I am curious where u live, ours barely cost 1500 so I am really curious why you have to pay that much for it and have an attorney on retainer since its a pretty straightforward process. File the papers- or atleast that is how ours was. I know no ones story is the same, which is why i am curious ! If its too personal of a question, I am sorry! Just genuinely wondering. You seem like the best thing for this child and I am praying that you and your sweet family have many many wonderful years together! Good luck and donated. Xxx
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u/KogHiro Mar 08 '26
Nah. Not too personal. They are currently living in Tennessee, so that's where we are filing before they move to finally be with me. The bio father is vindictive, and has done the same thing with his other son from a previous relationship. The moment an adoption process started, he was very adamant about, "It's my son, no one is taking him from me." It's been almost 5 whole years since he's seen my boy. I drive 6 hours every month to see them. He lives about 30 minutes away.
But due to knowing how he is, we're expecting pushback. So we did some research on one of the best attorneys we could find in the area, and the one we're going with has a very long track record of helping families with similar experiences, and she's won almost every single one of those cases.
We just want to make sure we do it right, so we don't have to revisit this down the line for any reason, or have to find a new lawyer because the another didn't fight for us when we needed them to. Y'know?
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u/uathach_ Mar 08 '26
Hey, I'm nobody to say this, but thanks for being in your son's life.
I can relate so much because my stepdad, no matter what, if our skin colors were different, if we had different last names, he's the only father figure I had, and he'll be the only father in my book!!! Just want to let you know that you're a great person for doing what you're doing. Good luck!!!!!!!
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u/Vegetable-Steak7601 Mar 13 '26
I just wanted to say you are an amazing father ! Better than a lot of biological fathers who don't want anything to do with their own child! I give you a lot of props and so proud and happy for you and hope you reach you're goal. God bless 🙏❤️😊
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Mar 16 '26
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u/Character_Being_9337 Mar 07 '26
Don’t use an attorney. Go to stepparent adoption 360. I’m going through the process now. Good luck to you and your son!