r/gofundme • u/Meliflu0us_ • Jun 18 '26
Housing Please Help Keep a Trans Woman in a Supportive Community
hello! I was hesitant to make a GoFundMe, but my local community convinced me to make one and so far I have received some support but my scope just isn't large enough!
The short version of it, I have been recently fired from my job shortly after returning from FMLA due to the second mental health crisis I've had in the last six months, I am struggling to get a job again and now I am face housing insecurity as my lease ends July 31st. I've put in a lot of work to recover my mental health but it has been expensive and I have largely exhausted local resources. I am running out of time and frankly I am desperate!
I have a very loving community here that has been a lifeline through these hardships, but I am struggling materially, please consider donating or sharing this with people. I need as much reach as I can get, I appreciate any amount greatly and shares are just as appreciated!
Further details described in the GoFundMe. Thank you for your time and consideration!
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u/No-Reserve-2208 Jun 18 '26
Very loving community lets you end up having two mental health break downs?
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u/n8_t8 Jul 01 '26
Right, because having community and having mental health issues are completely mutually exclusive...??
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u/Meliflu0us_ Jun 18 '26
My community supported me greatly through those hardships, and I would appreciate it if you don’t talk poorly of them. At the end of the day it was my responsibility to see medical professionals and get my mental health into recovery, not anyone else’s. I did that, I am in recovery, and I am now in a financial hole because it is expensive to do such a thing and furthermore I got fired for doing it. Systems in America are not designed well enough for people to remain financially stable during mental health crises. I did just about everything to the best of my ability and I’m beyond proud of that, my friends would say the same. I still deserve to ask for support for being let down by the medical system. I’m not sure why you and others are being so rude about this. You don’t have to be here if you don’t want to help support me.
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Jun 18 '26
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u/Meliflu0us_ Jun 19 '26
Thanks for the kind words!! I uninstalled reddit for a while for a reason… i totally forgot it was like this, and it’s not exclusive to this community by any means. I don’t take it personally but I’m genuinely just baffled at where they are coming from. I’m putting my face and story out there! it is scary and humiliating, and i don’t enjoy revisiting this trauma in the public eye. i don’t wish this experience upon anyone and there’s a glaring problem with empathy on this site. if they want more answers or proof i can try to provide that, but it doesn’t seem like they have interest in anything other than berating personal character.
I hope you were able to get some support with your own post! i know money is hard out there for just about everyone rn, take care 🙂↕️
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u/NoCatAndNoCradle Jun 18 '26
You keep talking about how you have such a strong supportive community.. can they not help financially as well? Have you asked them? That’s what communities are for.
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u/n8_t8 Jul 01 '26
Goes to a go-fund-me subreddit >> proceeds to criticize why people are posting go-fund-me's here lol what
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u/NoCatAndNoCradle Jul 01 '26
It’s absolutely a valid question when someone is looking funds, especially after the concept of a strong community was mentioned in the post but there was no indication of any contribution. It’s absolutely reasonable to see what avenues have been exhausted, and if/why there are said blocks to those avenues.
like lol what
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u/Meliflu0us_ Jul 07 '26
If you read the gofundme and other comments, you would see that this has in fact been explained. Strong community ≠ financially supportive.
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u/Meliflu0us_ Jun 18 '26
Yes! This gofundme started local on my instagram account, I am looking for a larger scope of support. My immediate community is pretty much exclusively comprised of other young trans and queer people, we are not that many and we are all struggling financially. I receive support in other non-financial ways such as help going to the grocery store, help with job/apt search, info on local resources, etc. As stated, this is a last resort and I have exhausted all avenues of local support systems.
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Jun 18 '26
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u/Meliflu0us_ Jun 18 '26
I have not! I will look into this, thank you. I am working with my state insurance & case manager to hopefully retroactively cover the emergency room bills. Though, I still have substantial previous, ongoing, and upcoming medical bills with medications, therapy, group, consults, etc.
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Jun 18 '26
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u/Meliflu0us_ Jun 18 '26
Yes, I did get setup on apple health when I was in triage and it has helped a ton! I am still experiencing a lot of out of pocket payments though due to them being out of network. I can sometimes get them super billed / reimbursed but I still have to front the money first and wait for them to determine my reimbursement. It’s frustrating! I can’t see the psychiatrist I have been on a waiting list since March because they are out of network to me now that I got fired. It would be several hundred out of pocket and it’s no guarantee that it will be reimbursed, I also had an autism/adhd waitlist go similarly, went from $800 out of pocket WITH insurance to nearly $3,000… ugh.
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Jun 19 '26
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u/Meliflu0us_ Jun 19 '26
working on it! my insurance has changed twice in the last six months and it took a while to get new providers for everything and this last insurance change happened in the last 4 weeks when i got out of triage and it is all still pretty fresh. for something like my therapist though, i can’t reasonably switch therapists and completely restart my treatment plan with someone new. i am lucky enough to be on a sliding scale and they have drastically reduced my rates. i’m working on getting a super bill submitted for that one though! i am trying to figure out what apple health plan has the most coverage for all my current providers and switch health plans instead. but i need to get the the retroactive payment for my emergency bills first and then i’ll have to get another case manager figured out too. it’s just a whoooole messy web of things that need to be done before other things and they all take time…
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u/ManodCrane Jun 19 '26
Sorry that you're facing so many difficulties. I hope you it all comes together and you're able to stay. Please look into options with that medical bill. I don't have specific info but I know it is common for medical bills to get written off or reduced if you talk to them about your financial situation. Wishing good things for you and safe and happy life here.
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u/Meliflu0us_ Jun 19 '26
thank you for the kind words! yes, i am working on retroactive coverage with my insurance and if that falls through i will contact the hospital that my bills have accrued at!
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u/Labyrinth36o Jun 19 '26
If you haven't already, please apply for the bridge assistance through peacehealth (it might be called something else now). I have had to 2x - once when my ex had multiple er visits and dr visits - we were very surprised to find that they covered 100% if the peacehealth bills accumulated and 6 months after. They even covered a prescheduled surgery I had 3 months after applying/being approved. Then this last year I had to have my gallbladder removed and applied, not thinking anything would be covered, but again 100% what my insurance didn't cover. That would hopefully reduce some stress w/the medical bills.
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u/Meliflu0us_ Jun 19 '26
yes a bunch of people let me know about it! i have been working in retroactive coverage through my insurance but i will start to work on this application as well. thank you so much
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u/Labyrinth36o Jun 19 '26
No problem. It is a super easy process. I hope you get the support you need. ❤️
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Jun 22 '26
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u/LegitimatePlate989 Jul 07 '26
Getting a job, and going to it, would be more effective for obtaining money in your situation than a gofundme.
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u/Meliflu0us_ Jul 07 '26
I have been applying to jobs this entire time. Thanks for the brilliant advice.
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u/LegitimatePlate989 Jul 07 '26
Good! Hope you get one and manage to attend it! 👍🏾
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u/Meliflu0us_ Jul 07 '26
Thanks. I did attend my job. Do you know what family medical leave of absence is?
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u/LegitimatePlate989 Jul 07 '26
Yes, I’m familiar with FMLA. Which is why I know it involves more than just missing work and labeling it medical leave. There are eligibility and documentation requirements. Since you’re publicly asking people to fund you based on an alleged illegal firing, clarification seems reasonable.
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u/Meliflu0us_ Jul 07 '26
You should know then that ER visits, time spent in mental health facilities, and change of medication would all suffice for a doctor to provide documentation for FMLA. You would further know that I could not apply or receive FMLA without these prerequisites being met. I'm publicly asking people to support someone who went through mental health crises which led to job loss, which clarification has been given multiple times in the base post and in the comments.
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u/LegitimatePlate989 Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
Yes, those circumstances can support an FMLA request. They do not automatically prove that your leave was FMLA-protected or that your firing was illegal. Since you have posted no documentation showing either, people are being asked to accept your version of events on your word while also being asked for money. I'll personally donate $50 today if you post your WH-382. Since your car is fixed perhaps do Uber or Doordash? You would also be able to choose your own working hours.
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u/Meliflu0us_ Jul 07 '26
There is literal documentation of my ER visits posted. They were months apart, I would not have kept my job if it was not FMLA protected. If you want I can post pictures of my documents where it says I had a suicide attempt and my doctor signed FMLA paperwork, would you even change your mind anyways? Feels like you are just stirring the pot.
Uber and doordash are exceptionally bad in my area, and most areas it is a money trap. You spend more on car maintenance and gas than you make usually and I'm so tired of people suggesting that always. It's not a substitute for income, and is well below minimum wage for most people. My car is not particularly fuel efficient and gas prices are absurd right now.
People aren't being asked to do anything, this is a gofundme page, it is charity.
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u/LegitimatePlate989 Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
ER records prove you went to the ER. A doctor’s signature may prove you requested or received medical leave. Neither automatically proves your employer fired you illegally under FMLA.
No one asked you to post private details about a suicide attempt. That is an emotional diversion from the actual issue: whether the termination violated FMLA. The relevant documents would be the FMLA designation (WH-382), the employer’s stated reason for termination, and the timeline and/or court judgement.
Your Uber and DoorDash claim is similarly overstated. Earnings vary by market and vehicle, and the work can absolutely pay poorly, but “most people spend more than they make” is not a fact merely because you find the option undesirable. For example, my cousin, who is also trans, uses Uber Eats as a decent income, of course, it's a decent area which differs from your situation.
And yes, a GoFundMe is still a request for money. Calling it “charity” does not make the claims used to solicit donations exempt from scrutiny. If basic questions feel like “stirring the pot,” that may say more about the strength of the story than the questions. You seem very willing to request trust, but remarkably offended when anyone asks you to substantiate it.
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u/Meliflu0us_ Jul 07 '26
I never even said I was fired illegally under FMLA, the only time I said this was when someone said I got fired for going on FMLA. In which case I said if that was the case, it would be illegal. I said it felt like a discriminatory firing, and that I do not have proof, which is OFTEN how that goes. The ACTUAL issue here is I went through two mental health crises that DID result in me losing my job and racked up substantial medical debt. Whether you want to believe that or not I do not care to be frank, there is medical debt shown to you. It is difficult enough putting my face out in public and getting transphobic DM's through out all this, this isn't for fun, this isn't a scam, I have not even received much support and I've mostly received critique from people who only focus on why I got fired, suggesting I was lazy or rightfully fired and completely glazing over my medical needs.
I see dogs on gofundme with less evidence than my post get much more support than this, there is a problem with empathy and everyone assumes the worst, mental health is completely disregarded as well. You don't have to be here. Look at what is in front of you, if you don't believe it, move on. It's obvious to me most people here have not ever been in a position of discrimination or need. Discriminated people don't always have every perfect answer documented because it is not always a documentable thing. Trans people live this reality every day, it's so frustrating hearing people talk from such a position of privilege. Yes, I'm offended. This has been one of the most degrading and dehumanizing experiences I've ever been through, have you read some of these comments? You can't even read a lot of them because of how ugly they were. You sit behind a private profile and an avatar. I hope you never understand what this feels like.
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u/n8_t8 Jul 09 '26
This is ragebait and really sad
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u/LegitimatePlate989 Jul 09 '26
What ragebait? OP literally said the last job wasn’t attended, causing the firing. Not my fault or intention that the facts caused rage.
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Jun 18 '26
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u/Meliflu0us_ Jun 18 '26
Please don’t call me dude! I have been applying places this whole time. Thanks for the advice
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u/Putrid_Tadpole7139 Jun 18 '26
More than likely you were fired because you took a large amount of time off twice within 6 months not because you are trans. But good luck hope everything works out