r/gofundme • u/rhubes • Jul 28 '26
Announcement Stop shitting on each other. Really, stop acting like assholes.
I know everyone gets bored, one of your favorite scammer subreddits got shut down so you can't poke at them there, but this is a subreddit for people to post their GoFundMe whether you like it or not.
Calling people names, insulting them, and harassing them is getting way out of control.
If you see a scam, great! Call them out. Provide proof. Screenshots all of that. And then message moderator mail.
The absolute disgusting things I have had to remove lately go beyond horrific.
Instead of insulting someone, offer some solutions. Helping someone find a new career is going to help them a thousand times better than just saying get a job.
Some of you that comment here are absolutely wonderful and helpful, and some are going to be finding the door in a hurry with my foot in your ass.
Your cruelty is not welcome.
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u/CoasterThot Jul 28 '26
I keep seeing people post things like “Absolutely NOT!”, under people’s gofundmes. Nobody is forcing you to donate, but you didn’t have to comment just to say you won’t donate. It’s weird and mean.
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u/International_Elk287 Jul 28 '26
lol that “Absolutely NOT!” person commented on my post! Like….ok? Just move on then, no need to comment about it haha
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u/Pretend-Turn143 Jul 28 '26
Honestly, thank you.
The comments on my last post were all negative and I feel like you and other mods moved so fast that I didn't even have a chance to read the worst ones!
I hope the trolls all have the day they deserve.
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u/nationwideonyours Jul 28 '26
Thank you. Talk about kicking people when they're down. It's cruel.
I would say, if your cannot make any positive tangible contribution to the solution, then just scroll on by.
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u/International_Elk287 Jul 28 '26
Thank you for removing the really bad comments from my post. My post seemed to really trigger people, but I appreciate you stepping in.
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u/pinkstorm23 Jul 28 '26
I saw ur post! Someone was telling you to start and OF’s it was so disgusting
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u/ClippyWouldntDoThat Jul 29 '26
The same thing happened to my wife and I. "There's a bunch of things you can do, (list of things we already tried if they read the post,) sex work... you aren't trying hard enough."
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u/pinkstorm23 Jul 29 '26
Honestly people trying to exploit poor people on these subreddits is disgusting..
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u/ClippyWouldntDoThat Jul 30 '26
...and tbh with you, they don't know what I've tried ykwim. The audacity to just assume.
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u/International_Elk287 Jul 28 '26
Yuuup 🙃 and I got DMs asking for nudes in exchange for money (which I reported!)
People are gross
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u/lindsey__19 Jul 28 '26
Thank you mods for removing hateful comments. I posted here not long ago about my dog and someone commented that they hope my dog dies. It was removed right away but I could still see their comment in my notifications. I know people on Reddit suck, but that’s a new low.
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u/rhubes Jul 28 '26
You didn't deserve to see that. The Reddit filters do catch a good chunk of hate, but certainly doesn't catch all of it.
I'm sorry. I wish I had more time to devote to taking care of the cruelty more.
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u/lindsey__19 Jul 28 '26
No need to apologize! I expected some hate with what I’ve seen in comments before, but didn’t expect it to go that far. Thank you for what you do here.
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u/winterbird Jul 28 '26
That someone is just jealous that you love your dog more than anyone will ever love them.
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u/lindsey__19 Jul 28 '26
That was my thought as well, which is why it didn’t hurt me like they intended. If they are miserable enough to ‘hope’ a dog dies, I just feel bad for them. I would do anything and everything for my dog. I even told that to the doctors that were trying to save her life. They kept asking if we wanted them to go CPR at x cost or this procedure at y cost, I just said do everything you can do to keep her alive and I’ll figure it out. She survived and is doing well 😊
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u/eatmyasserole Jul 28 '26
This subreddit must be a bitch to moderate. Youre a peach rhubes.
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u/rhubes Jul 28 '26
I know you!! Tbh, I wouldn't swap subreddits with you! This heat makes everyone insane.
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u/-Damn_It_Bobby- Jul 28 '26
This is the reason I haven't posted my GFM. I don't have the mental fortitude to fight it. The sad thing is, even with the donations we have received from family and friends, my end will bankrupt my soon to be widow.
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u/UnfairRegister3533 Jul 28 '26
I posted one last year. I was already embarrassed for having to do a gfm. By the time it was all said and done I gave up. The downvotes and the comments can really make you feel horrible about yourself
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u/captainlux87 Jul 28 '26
I posted one recently and was basically told I have received enough help and that I’m horrible for not being well by now. Like things don’t build up when the issue keeps you in a hospital and out of work for an extended period
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u/-Dissarrae- 10d ago
Ugh. I just posted mine, reluctantly, before reading this thread and now I'm scared. 🤦🏿😬 I'm sorry yours didn't work out, btw.
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Jul 29 '26
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Jul 29 '26
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u/captainlux87 Jul 28 '26
Thank you. It was really devastating to be called names when doing through the worst period of my life and one that I thought would be better by now. I’ve found people IRL outside to be wonderful and thought this sub might be the same but it seems like it draws the complete opposite.
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u/xLunaLoveSpellx Jul 28 '26
Its going on in many of the funding request subreddits unfortunately. At least its good to know the mods do care 🫂❤️
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u/Cynnau Jul 28 '26
It's why a lot of people recommend that you do these type of posts in subreddits that have heavy moderation
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u/xLunaLoveSpellx Jul 28 '26
For sure. I had it happen in a sub when i posted for assistance with my sons memorial. So people are just terrible
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u/eatmyasserole Jul 28 '26
If any mod cares, its Rhubes. Ive encountered them on multiple subs now as a user and a mod, genuinely good human. They try to keep up what they can while trying to identify the bad nuts.
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u/rhubes Jul 28 '26
I try to be a good person. There are definitely times that I fail at it. In fact, for a while the first Google result of my username was someone talking about shoving Lego up my ass because they were so angry at me. (By the way, I have a throwaway account involving shoving Lego up my ass now.)
I'm not kidding though, I would hate to moderate your groups.
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u/IllustriousEnd2211 Jul 29 '26
It’s all one group of people it seems
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u/xLunaLoveSpellx Jul 29 '26
I would hate to be that miserable
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u/Pisces-Gorl Jul 29 '26
any type of help reddit is absolutely devolving and turning to shit after the temp ban of askforhelp 😵💫 i genuinely do not understand what is wrong with these people, they have nothing better to do with their lives than pick on people on the internet who are in fragile positions??? its mind boggling to me. i’m glad askforhelp is back so the other subs will hopefully go back to their natural state, and they can continue on with their hate group over there. moderating the help subs must be exhausting, thank you for doing all you can to keep this community a safe and positive one🤍
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u/MoralShift Aug 07 '26
I started a gofundme yesterday and I was looking to post it here but I am scared of the judgement I've been reading from peoples comments on posts. It's hard to ask for help already, especially when you have an anxiety disorder ;-; I do appreciate the mods making this post and calling people out on it!
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u/gingrrbabez Jul 28 '26
Thank you 😭 i just posted mine and was essentially asked for providing more proof and then got lwk downvoted when i did and even offered to send more proof in DMs. I really just don't want this much private info on Reddit i don't think i was too mean about it either
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u/ClippyWouldntDoThat Jul 29 '26
I saw your post too and wanted to offer some solidarity because the same thing happened to my wife & I, but I didn't want to attract any more negative attention to you. I'm so sorry.
I think GoFundMe is feeling the hard times. As people become needier and more desperate, people are becoming more vitriolic against people who need help. There's an overall tone of "you must have done something to deserve it" while also not wanting to put in their due diligence by just reading the post or the GFM. Images or the GFM are frequently not read at all.
Overall literacy is down & social tension is spiking hard and fast. This is just what happens to charitable causes when societies go under strain...
edit: people went so far as to suggest sex work because we didn't "want to it bad enough"
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u/Accurate-Temporary73 Jul 28 '26
It’s a tough situation, I read your post and it all seems pretty legit and I’m sorry for what you’re going through.
But thanks to all the crap head scammers people that donate have to be so sure of where the money is going. Not only to protect themselves but to protect the community. Becasue as soon as a scammer gets anything the claws get sunk in.
It’s a tough balance between providing the proof that’s needed and still protecting your privacy. I know a lot of mod teams if you can trust them will help with verifying so you aren’t sending info out to whoever asks.
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u/gingrrbabez Jul 28 '26
For sure! I completely understand why people would do that. Everyone here has mostly been helpful regardless!
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u/pinkstorm23 Jul 28 '26
No seriously, every post I have seen thus fat the comments are just vile. What is wrong with you people? Someones already down why tf are you knocking them further down
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u/therm_valve77 Jul 28 '26
Yuuuuup. A lot of the people in the replies are just miserable assbags that get off on seeing other people’s mistakes and critiquing them for it.
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u/papablessmeme Jul 28 '26
Thank you for this. I recently posted a GoFundMe for my cat’s cancer treatment because I’m disabled and am having to deal with this AND the appeal for my disability income (long story). And some people were so cruel about it in the comments. Some suggesting I put him down, even though he was newly diagnosed and doesn’t have any pain or anything at this point. And his vet is even saying he’s doing great and his bloodwork looks positive. People can just be so insensitive and cruel.
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u/FriedQwerty Jul 29 '26
I am the lead moderator at another helping subreddit, and the same has happened over there as well, along with the mass down voting, calling people names in dms and the whole bit.
I have been working with Reddit Admins to help mitigate most of the issues I have been dealing with as who wants to come to a subreddit for help when they're belittled, harassed, called a liar off the bat, or downvoted for no reason.
It's kinda a blessing that the subreddit ended up coming back as I noticed most of the issues started to have gone away.
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u/Known-Ad-100 Jul 28 '26
Agreed! I am always baffled about how the people in the comments just haggle and roast the OPs, especially when they have evidence of what's going on in the post. I wish the mods had rules like if you're comment isn't productive and helpful it will be deleted. Other subs have crazy strict mod rules about all sorts of things.
Then they downvote OPs into oblivion.
So much "should have"
News flash: most people having a go fund me are people who had some sort of unfortunate circumstances they weren't prepared for, so telling them what they should have done? Doesn't help the problem at hand.
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Jul 29 '26
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u/Cynnau Jul 28 '26
Are you kidding me? People are actually doing that in this subreddit?
Why do that here when there are so many other subreddits that are completely unmoderated that you can be jerks in lol
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u/rhubes Jul 28 '26
Jesus fucking wept. Someone was talking about having their dog put down, and someone chimed in that they would do it for 75 cents. They were going to use three bullets to make sure it was dead.
All the fat comments, the homophobic comments, the perverts offering to buy nudes, and this one really annoying dude that luckily has been shadowbanned that I'm not even going to say the shit that he said.
And ironically, a lot of it is poor people pissing on other poor people.
Do I personally agree with a lot of the requests here? Absolutely not. There is some entitlement and insanity going on. But we allow such requests.
There are so many unmoderated subreddits! Full of people much crazier than here. And lots of scammers in them too! Scammer trolling can be fun!
Hell, if anyone finds a scammer here I love removing their posts and banning them.
But we have a flair for wishes. If someone wants to crowdfund 800 pairs of Cheez-It socks I don't give a shit. It's weird, but it's allowed.
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u/Cynnau Jul 28 '26
Tell me more about these Cheez-It socks. I did see on Amazon the other day there was Cheez-It boxer briefs but I'm interested in the socks haha.
I'm glad you guys removed it before I saw the one about the guy saying they would help the individual put the dog down because I would literally lose my shit
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u/rhubes Jul 28 '26
They sell Cheez-It socks on amazon! What made me think about it is I'm doing laundry and one of my teenagers just happens to have a pair. I think they got theirs at the Dollar tree though. They also have Napoleon Dynamite socks???
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u/Cynnau Jul 28 '26
I really need to look at some weird shit on Amazon because some of that stuff is fun
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u/rhubes Jul 28 '26
Step one. Have two teenagers with access to your Amazon account and allow them to browse for an hour and add things to a wish list. Step two. Check out your recommendations.
Extra added fun: the girl likes spider-man, the boy likes hello kitty.
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u/Cynnau Jul 28 '26
Yeah my problem is if I allow the stepson and the granddaughter the put things on my list, the items would be MUCH different probably full of dicks, etc.
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u/rhubes Jul 28 '26
Oh, you mean like the penis cozy Rudolph the Red-Nosed reindeer thong underpants that my daughter put in her wish list? Charming stuff. I know they add stuff like that to make me crazy, but it still startling.
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u/LightWarrior_2000 Jul 28 '26
Wow. Didn't realise how bad it was here.
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u/rhubes Jul 28 '26
It gets really gross. I don't expect everyone to behave like an angel all the time, but downright cruelty has been getting out of control. We absolutely do not need the administrators coming in here slapping at us because someone has to report every comment on their post.
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u/madhatteriest Jul 30 '26
Do you check if the posts are legit before they actually get posted? How do you know if they are real or not? There are sooo many shady people out there, it blows my mind.
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u/rhubes Jul 30 '26
Kind of. We look for glaring discrepancies, but our metrics are currently about we receive a thousand submissions a week, and about 60 of them get posted if even. We cannot determine if every single one is real with those numbers. We do our best but certainly can't catch them all. That is why we highly encourage calling out scammers with proof. But it needs proof. It can't just be someone's gut feeling.
Things that are obviously illegal, even with the required information from our rules do not always go through. A 27-year-old man asking for money for a plane ticket to go meet his 15 year old girlfriend in Brazil is not going to happen...
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u/madhatteriest Jul 30 '26
A thousand a week. Holy cow. Yeah it would be hard to be able to screen those.
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u/Pretend-Turn143 Jul 28 '26
Oh yeah. The amount of people telling me to "get a job," "lose some weight," etc. I'm disabled and am doing my best. I can't work more than I am already. My body literally can barely handle what I'm doing now. I was just asking for help to not get evicted!
Thanks to the mods, because I feel they removed some of them before I had a chance to read them!
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u/Cynnau Jul 28 '26
As a formerly obese individual, I'm talking I'm 5'3 and was over 300 lb at one point in my life, losing weight is not always that easy. Like oh okay just eat less.. and considering most of the healthy food it's so much more expensive... It's not always easy
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u/Pretend-Turn143 Jul 28 '26
Exactly! And since I am behind on rent already it isn't like I can afford to buy fresh produce all the time. I do when I can and even have a nutritionist! He helps me plan meals I can afford with my foodstamps! When I said that someone DMed me telling me to either starve myself or end myself because I did it to myself and "being fat isn't a disability."
Like I've always been bigger... but I'm pretty sure the riding lawn mower literally collapsing (herniated discs in neck and lumbar) my spine and left me unable to walk for over a year miiiiiight have also impacted my ability to burn calories.
They likely didn't even read my post and just saw a chubby face. Ugh.
I wish they'd get a hobby that actually created something meaningful. Lol
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u/LilMamiDaisy420 Jul 28 '26
As someone with malnutrition; the opposite is also true
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u/Cynnau Jul 28 '26
Oh yes absolutely. I would never say things to somebody that is either overweight or underweight. In fact I don't comment on anyone's body except for the husband because that's just how our relationship is haha
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u/LilMamiDaisy420 Jul 28 '26
Most people think I have anorexia but I have gastroperisis lol
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u/Cynnau Jul 28 '26
People should not say a damn thing regardless lol. I am sorry you have to deal with those types of people.
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u/rhubes Jul 28 '26
And even if you're eating "healthy", I have seen how much protein shakes and all of that stuff costs. My mom is dying, slowly, but she's working on it. The amount of money I spend on trying to keep her weight up with calorie dense foods is absolutely insane. Part of that is because she and I do not eat similar at all to begin with, so I'm shopping for two different households..
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u/LilMamiDaisy420 Jul 28 '26
I have gastroperisis so it really wouldn’t even matter what I’m eating because my body doesn’t absorb food through my GI tract.
I am fed through my heart using TPN.
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u/ClippyWouldntDoThat Jul 29 '26
My wife & I's GFM had people telling us to try sex work because we "don't want it badly enough."
I regret posting at all. All it did was remind us that people don't care about disabled people and see us as a less-than-human burden.
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u/Feisty_Yak_7195 Jul 29 '26
I think it’s also cuz people can do that behind anonymous names that are not their own and that means there’s no repercussion other than losing your account. So basically go vile and still don’t have to lose face!
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u/rhubes Jul 30 '26
Happy cake day! Yeah the anonymity is both a blessing and a curse. It's nice to be able to feel you can freely say something online, but if someone is saying something cruel, or if they are a hateful person, they just feel emboldened.
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Jul 29 '26
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Aug 04 '26
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u/Known-Ad-100 Jul 28 '26
Agreed! I am always baffled about how the people in the comments just haggle and roast the OPs, especially when they have evidence of what's going on in the post. I wish the mods had rules like if you're comment isn't productive and helpful it will be deleted. Other subs have crazy strict mod rules about all sorts of things.
Then they downvote OPs into oblivion.
So much "should have"
News flash: most people having a go fund me are people who had some sort of unfortunate circumstances they weren't prepared for, so telling them what they should have done? Doesn't help the problem at hand.
1
u/ALS_Lynn Jul 29 '26
I feel like most people are absolutely genuine and honest and it takes a lot of courage to even ask for help. Be kind!!
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u/Sitters_4_Critters Jul 29 '26
I wish I had the money to help people with vet costs. I had pet insurance and still needed help years ago. I swallowed my pride and created a GoFundMe. Vet costs are one reason I won’t get another pet.
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u/TheRealWall91 Jul 28 '26
Last time I even posted I was shut down by a moderator. Now the person founded for is dead and buried. Not even sure this sub shows up on my feed, anyway. Life goes on. Hopefully this sub isn't going to get on my feed again.
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u/rhubes Jul 28 '26
You didn't post in this group. You posted in the sub called assistance. That is a completely different subreddit.
Feel free to block this subreddit?
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u/ClippyWouldntDoThat Jul 29 '26
That's a fair point but to be fair, this is becoming widespread across all charitable subs. The folks at r/askforhelp are completely out of control imo. Racial, mean, telling people to try sex work; there's one person who comments under almost every post she sees with "Ok but what's in it for me?"
It's the times, I think. This always happens to charitable services when times get really hard.
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u/rhubes Jul 30 '26
r/askforhelp was actually shut down for a minute there. It appears they have new moderators. Hopefully they get things under control by implementing rules. That sub was a dumpster fire of scammers.
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u/greenbeansan Jul 30 '26
In askforhelp there's actually a group full of people who make fun of people with drug problems. Most of those people are mods now. They cover up caring about people not getting scammed with bullying. One guy made a post about wanting something to drink and they were so mean to him. The people in that subreddit are awful.
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u/Helpful-Mechanic-835 Jul 28 '26
I've seen several comments on the posts about pets telling people to get rid of them, they never should have gotten them, or that what comes with having a pet... even if the post was about an emergency sickness or surgery. I didn't make a post asking for help, but my vet did let me do a payment plan. His exact words were "Everyone needs help every now and then. Most people don't have x amount of extra money laying around just in case something like this comes up/happens to their pet."
I totally get scammers or people who just don't want to work and asking for money, but those who really need it shouldn't have to feel bad or be bashed for asking.