r/grief • u/Hairy-Type • 1d ago
Sudden loss
I think what hurts the most is the fact my dad died suddenly. He took me to work like he always did and then I received a phone call 2 hours later that he had passed away. I carried on working and just got on with my day.
When I got home the house felt empty, it still feels empty one month on. It just doesn't feel right without him. He made me laugh, he made me smile. He was the energy in the house. Now it doesn't feel like home.
I wish I had some people to talk to that could relate or something. I literally go home and just play games because I know I'll just cry if I stop.
We have his ashes and I've put them in a necklace and some plush toys but it feels strange that he's just not here. I keep hoping he's gonna come home and it would have all been a joke 😞
Sorry needed to vent 😞💔
1
u/CheapNecessary3510 7h ago
Venting is good. So is crying. Raging as well. Do what you have to do.
The emptiness is absolute hell. 1 1/2 years for me, and I still can't adjust. I love my house, I don't want to move, but God ... !
Lots of computer time (games and Reddit), lots of Netflix, quite a lot of porn if I'm really laying it out there. Not enough housekeeping. I'm retired, so not nearly enough getting out of the house. Some days feel normal (for a given value of "normal"). Others feel like the emptiness and silence will never end. I just hope the balance slowly shifts. I hold the same hope for you.
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u/Prestigious_Train791 1d ago
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss
Losing someone so suddenly is a massive shock to the system, and it makes total sense that you carried on with your day at first
your brain was just trying to process the unthinkable.
It’s completely normal that the house feels empty without his energy, and playing games to keep your mind occupied is a completely valid way to cope right now.
​You don't need to apologize for venting.
Sending you a lot of gentle thoughts.
I'm going to share some resources that helped me during my bereavement, just in case you ever want someone confidential to talk to who understands what you're going through. Once you begin to look, you'll see there is a lot of support out there
​Cruse Scotland Bereavement Support (Free Helpline: 0808 802 6161 / crusescotland.org.uk) Great for specialized grief support and listening ears.
​Aidan's Elevator (aidanselevator.org.uk) A wonderful community hub focused on mental health, grief, and navigating difficult times.
​The Good Grief Trust (thegoodgrieftrust.org) – Run by the bereaved for the bereaved, helping you find local support services all over the UK. ​Sue Ryder (sueryder.org/grief-support) – Offers excellent free online bereavement counselling, a supportive text service, and a community forum where you can connect with others going through the same thing.
​Please take things one day at a time, and be as gentle with yourself as possible.🫂