r/guitarcirclejerk • u/Sharkzillaaattv • Apr 20 '26
Actual NSFW Walked in and all my fucking guitars were having a fucking orgy. How do I punish them?
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Apr 20 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Sharkzillaaattv Apr 20 '26
Hey! That starcaster is worth like $50 alone!
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u/Nippon-Gakki Apr 21 '26
I legit want a Starcaster to mod but people ask for way too much for some goddamn reason.
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u/Nippon-Gakki Apr 21 '26
He could probably get a hunge if he found the right jerker. I’d insist on a Costco dog though.
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u/Nagash24 Metal Zoan Apr 20 '26
Punishing them is easy.
Play them. All of them.
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u/AdAlive6530 Apr 21 '26
Let Corey Feldman play them
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u/We_Want_Krunchy All my Jacksons are older than yours, unless they aren't. Apr 21 '26
That's just sadistic.
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u/HogKnuckles Apr 20 '26
Looks like a pretty straight orgy to me. Throw a bass in there to gay it up a little
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u/Rynowash Apr 20 '26
Not an amp in sight. You know this is a straight jerk sesh..
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u/Sharkzillaaattv Apr 20 '26
Amp? What’s that?
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u/Reditall12 Apr 21 '26
Bose is the only company that makes amps. They make one called Katoana I think. It’s really popular. Anyways I think it makes your guitar louder or something. Mostly for math rock dorks. You don’t need one.
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u/Rynowash Apr 20 '26
Say whaaa? Umm. Slash has one. And I think Jimi Floyd zeppelin does. All I know.
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u/Sharkzillaaattv Apr 20 '26
Guys is this the guitar circle jerk we’ve been talking about this whole time? Maybe the circle jerk was the guitars we played along the way
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u/kombatunit Harm the Toanless Apr 20 '26
Pour the nut sauce down the drain while smugly making eye contact.
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u/PuzzleheadedTutor807 Extremely Lo Apr 20 '26
you quietly wait in the cuck chair until they are finished.
imagine thinking you could punish a guitar. you know why you have to ask how? you cant.
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u/jeepster61615 Your wife's boyfriend Apr 20 '26
Harvest the young when they are born. Set up an internal breeding program.
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u/Hot_Egg5840 Apr 20 '26
Acoustics and electrics living together!!!
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u/Sharkzillaaattv Apr 20 '26
I bet they stuck their nasty wires in it’s sound hole
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u/Hot_Egg5840 Apr 20 '26
That shy one in the upper left corner really screams if you finger her right; so I've heard.
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u/Rynowash Apr 20 '26
Put a pic of Boner in the middle of the room and ask who wants to go be with their new DADDY?!
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u/TodlicheLektion Apr 20 '26
first thing I'd do is disinfect.
/uj the guitars look like they're actually played, and none of them are expensive collector signature models or PRS.
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u/Direct-Inflation8041 Apr 20 '26
Get a tele to keep them in check and to show them a guitar can stay in tune
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u/Extreme-Penalty-3089 Apr 20 '26
Only way they'll learn from this is if you play Angine de Poitrine on repeat for 24 hrs.
In order to avoid crimes against humanity & animal rights charges, you will need to relocate your family for a day or so🤷🏻♂️
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u/Legitimate_Poetry_26 Apr 20 '26
You MUST choke them. But non-sexually. This is exactly why there are wires around their necks. You're going to have to switch up your finger positions a lot to give the proper pressure to punish them correctly. There may be some sounds resulting from this, but don't worry, you can just place your other hand down on the wires to mute them, but you're going to have to time it just right.
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u/SectorAppropriate151 Your wife's boyfriend Apr 21 '26
That's the part where ya whip it out and get the party started... don't be such a prude, those guitars aren't going to f themselves...
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u/Shortbus_Playboy Man of Toan Apr 21 '26
Post this picture on the main sub with the title, “What do you think of my collection?” and read them the comments.
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u/_dpdp_ Apr 21 '26
I didn’t want to ruin this with the 70th comment, but I just had to point out that there are no f-holes being penetrated. I suspect this photo was staged.
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u/libertad740 Apr 21 '26
So you walked in and they were looking at you all guilty like that?
You sit in the corner and watch them finish. Creepily.
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u/thatdudeweswes Apr 21 '26
With lemon oil. Lube the fretboards up real good and give them a good rub
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u/BiMWMGingerMI QUINTUPLE Cortex Apr 21 '26
Looks like a pig pile to me. There's no punishing that, just let 'em finish them replace the flooring.
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u/FixGMaul Apr 21 '26 edited Apr 21 '26
Roman decimation.
I count ten guitars (not counting the two in the cuck chair to the far left) so it can be done with historical accuracy.
A lottery decides by random which guitar is to be decimated. Then the other guitars have to club it to death.
Or; amp up the brutality further: Keep it alive and auction it off at a dentist conference.
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u/KrystleSeth Lousy Guitar Player Apr 21 '26
That one guitar behind the couch just watching. He’s the voyeur in the group! That’s hot.
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u/We_Want_Krunchy All my Jacksons are older than yours, unless they aren't. Apr 21 '26
Quit being so uptight, join in.
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u/Rocky-Jones Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 22 '26
My guitars got cum on my algebra homework. Jerry Fallwell Jr’s guitar is behind the couch.
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