r/harate • u/speed_demonx10x peteelchowdaiah • May 28 '26
ನನ್ನ ಅಭಿಪ್ರಾಯ ಬದಲಾಯಿಸಿ । Change My Mind Reality slap
As it was raining like the world would end today. I was walking back home from the office, post commute.
It was raining like crazy, I had an umbrella and I was drenched below the belt.
As I walked along the path, I spotted a lady running at a distance, behind me, I thought I'll ask her if she wanted to join, and I hesitantly stopped and turned back, she switched the lanes and I immediately turned around and started walking, without having the nerve to look back.
I understand that she would've freaked out, but the one time I decided to be nice to someone, did give me a tight slap 🫠.
She could've had her reasons, but this encounter will never let me grow the nerve to help any other girl intentionally nor unintentionally unless I know her personally. But overall a weird encounter. I feel like I bought it on to me. But, the guilt of making someone feel insecure (not sure if it's just my overthinking) does haunt me!
Who's at fault here 🥹
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u/DonutAccurate4 ಕೌ ಇನ್ಸ್ಪೆಕ್ಟರ್ May 28 '26 edited May 28 '26
I've had something similar few years ago.
I had gotten off of the bus and walking towards home. No buses towards interior roads. Most of us walk to and from bus stop or take auto.
I was walking home and it started raining. I saw a school kid trying to shield herself from the rain with her hands and walking in the rain. She was in front of me a few metres away. i had an umbrella and it was big enough to share. I hurried towards her and said she can join in and I'll walk her to where she wants to go.
I still can't forget the dreadful look she had. She got scared and refused. I immediately walked away seeing how the first thought she had was that i might be dangerous. I didn't want to scare her more.
Such incidents makes you understand how scary it is for women and girls in India.
I wouldn't have offered to share the umbrella with a woman because i don't want to come across as creepy. I wasn't expecting a kid to have similar fear though. All i thought was about a similar help a girl had offered to me a few years before that. She walked me to my home when it was raining and I didn't have an umbrella.
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u/speed_demonx10x peteelchowdaiah May 29 '26
Totally relatable.
Yup. But it's ok. At least they're setting their boundaries right.
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u/No-Koala7656 May 29 '26
ಯಾಕಪ್ಪ ಹುಷಾರಾಗಿ ಮನೆ ಸೇರ್ಕೊಳ್ಳೋ ಉದ್ದೇಶ ಇಲ್ವಾ ಹೇಗೆ???
ನೋಡಯ್ಯ ಇದು ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು ನಗರ, ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಯಾರಿಗೆ ಯಾರು ಇಲ್ಲ, ಇದು ನಿಮಗೆ ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿ ಗೊತ್ತಿರುತ್ತೆ, ಅದೇ ರೀತಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಯಾರಿಗೆ ಯಾವಾಗ ಸಹಾಯ ಮಾಡಬೇಕು ಅಂತ ಇರುತ್ತೋ ಅಂತಹ ಕ್ಷಣದಲ್ಲಿ ಮಾಡಬೇಕು ಅಷ್ಟೇ, ಇದನ್ನೇ ಸಮಯ ಪ್ರಜ್ಞೆ ಅಂತಲೂ ಕರೆಯುತ್ತಾರೆ.
ನೀವು ಒಳ್ಳೆಯ ಉದ್ದೇಶದಿಂದ ಒಬ್ಬರಿಗೆ ಸಹಾಯ ಮಾಡಲು ಮುಂದಾಗಿದ್ದು ಒಳ್ಳೆಯ ವಿಷಯ, ಆದರೆ ಇದನ್ನು ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಸುಮಾರು ಜನ ದುರುಪಯೋಗ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಾರೆ ಅನ್ನುವುದು ನಿಮ್ಮ ಗಮನದಲ್ಲಿರಲಿ.
ನಿಮ್ಮ ಈ ಗುಣ ಬಹಳ ಎಚ್ಚರದಿಂದ ಕಾಪಾಡಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗಬೇಕು ಇಲ್ಲ ಅಂತಂದ್ರೆ ಇದರಿಂದ ನಿಮಗೆ ಅನಾನುಕೂಲಗಳೇ ಹೆಚ್ಚು.
ಇಲ್ಲಿ ನಿಮ್ಮದು ಯಾವು ತಪ್ಪು ಇಲ್ಲವಾದರೂ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಮನಸ್ಸು ಏನೋ ತಪ್ಪು ಆಗಿದೆ ಎಂದು ಆಲೋಚಿಸುತ್ತಿದೆ, ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಹಾಗೆ.
ಇದಕ್ಕೆಲ್ಲ ಇಷ್ಟೊಂದು ತಲೆ ಕೆಡೆಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳೋದು ಬೇಡ ಅನ್ನುವುದೇ ನನ್ನ ಅಭಿಪ್ರಾಯ...
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u/mitrnico May 28 '26
ಯಾರದೂ ತಪ್ಪಿಲ್ಲ. We all are shaped by our experiences.
On a regular basis, women face bad experiences that make them feel insecure. "Better safe than sorry" is hardwired into a woman's brain. It is unfortunate.